Spirited Children?

M..

Try reading 1, 2, 3, Magic for parents. It's a wonderful program that takes all of the talk out of discipline. It really does seem to be Magic.

I too have a very 'spirited' four year old boy and my husband and I have been talking about how we are going to keep him off ADD medications once he hits school since he was about 12 months old. Recently we have really concentrated on his diet. I knew of course that sugar would make him a little hyper and harder to deal with but what I didn't realized was that the preservatives and dyes that they use in foods is very directly linked to hyperactivity in children. We have made a big effort to feed him less sugar, less preservatives and less food dyes and WOW what a difference. There is an article in Woman's World Magazine that mentions one study about the links between food dyes and preservatives and hyperactivity. It takes a lot of label reading but you can find food in regular supermarkets, all-natural stores like Whole Foods and a direct order company called Wildtree. Good Luck!!!

Hi M.,

My daughter Hailey is 6. Her pediatrician also labeled her as "spirited" at around age 2. Like your situation, she has an older brother who is very laid-back & has always been extremely easy, they are 1.5 yrs apart. Hailey is also very smart, very funny & always full of energy (where do they get it?), but can be stubborn & very moody when she wants to be. Again, sounds not only like a little kid, but a little girl, right? We've just come to realize that she needs (demands) more attention than your average kid. Sometimes I get frustrated because I feel like every waking moment I need to be entertaining her if I'm going to get a second's peace, but the older she gets, the more I know she understands that's just not possible all the time. Unfortunately for her older brother, she is so strong-willed that a lot of the time he will give in to whatever she wants, games they're going to play, shows they're going to watch, etc. just to get her off his back. I try to step in whenever I can to regulate these types of issues so that everyone has equal opportunity to do what they want, but I'm not always successful. Because I have 1 boy & 1 girl, I've found it good to sometimes separate them for an afternoon when possible & I'll take Hailey shopping with me while Mike & my husband go to the movies or something like that. When they feel like they're both getting something special just for them is when they seem happiest, just like all kids. We've come up with a system of homework & tv time where I know Mike can handle most of his homework on his own so I can spend the extra time with Hailey & he gets the extra time for his gameboy or whatever. Really, you have to figure out what they're both into at any given time & play up their individual strengths (Mike is great at independant play, Hailey really needs a play-mate all the time, so a lot of times I'm it). All I can really say is there are some things that do get easier as they get older because you'll be able to let them do their own thing together since they're so close in age & know that they've got each other to rely on. Just as long as you can find the time to do special stuff for each as often as possible, everything should work out just fine. : )

M.,
Your story sounds like mine. I wouldn't worry much...They are just 2 very different children. I have 2 girls spaced 2.5 yrs apart. My oldest is very energetic but even tempered (usually:-) but my 2 yr old is very, very stubborn. She has the classic fits and is starting to pull hair. She appears to be the sweetest thing ever with blond hair and blue eyes....But boy can she turn on you!
I find when she is tired or hungry those are the worse times.
Here is just an example of the everyday things....she sits next to her sister (carseats) and keeps trying to put her feet/leg in her sisters "space". I tell her no many times, move her feet, slap (lightly) her foot ect...she screams ... then I ask her if she will touch sissy again...she says no. Ok I let her foot go, IMMEDIATELY she puts her foot back on her sister....*sigh* whats a mom to do?
Just wanted you to know that you are not alone and I think that this is normal and that being "the baby" of the family definately rings true. Good luck!

Hi M., First I want to tell you that I am 37 and am a mom of a 14 year old who was labeled a spirited child. He loved to help others who were having a bad day, he loved to be the "life of the class" and was labeled very early. I received a call at work and was brought into the principal's office (oh boy) and was told that they were reluctant to involve DSS but that they wanted me to get my son help. Fearful of what would happen if we didn't bring him to a counselor, we brought him to a Dr. in Longmeadow and let him evaluate CJ. By the time it was over the evaluation was given and reflected that my son loved extra attention but was not in any danger of hurting of anyone or in need of any medical attention. He is now, like I said, 14 and a student at Cathedral High with A's & B's and quite well adjusted. I tell you all of this to say to just be careful of trusting what you KNOW in your own child to someone else who may mean well, but doesn't know you or your child at all. He may have issues but it's ultimately for you to decide how you'd like to deal with them. On the other hand, he may be a lively 2.5 year old who doesn't fit societies mold and needs extra love and understanding to get through this time in his life....Good luck to you in whatever you decide for him.

The best advicw i can give is to have as much patience and to try to stay as calm as you can with him .This includes your body language as well as your tone and your words. your little one can pick up on your anxiety when he is stressing you out if he is having a "moment" of difficulty. I have one of these "spirited" children. He is now 10. (I did found out however that it went beyond that so please make sure you keep in talking to your pediatrician and look out for signs it could be more than that) but in most cases it just takes time and patience and consistency. And lots of hot baths for mom at the end of the day. Also, Brown Center For Children if you really think there is something else going on.Dr. Loncar.
###-###-####. she's great. Lizz W.