Sos---suggestions Needed for Newborn Sleeping

Updated on June 20, 2009
L.S. asks from Austin, TX
14 answers

Hi, I cannot figure out the best way to help my 6 week old sleep at night. She is obviously tired. Let me tell you what happens and hopefully people can offer suggestions.
First of all, she sleeps so heavily all day if I let her. Starting after the 5am feed she sleeps great and all I have to do to get her to sleep is feed her and pat her back. But, starting at about 8:30 pm she gets very restless and frantically nurses. Milk is coming out but she won't stay latched on and seems more tired than hungry. So, i try to get her to go to sleep. Last night, I put her in her little sleep sack and turned on her white noise. I nursed, she fell asleep, i put her down and she wakes up. I give her a pacifier and pat her back, she falls back asleep but wakes up in less than 2 minutes when the pacifier falls out and the whole trying to get her to sleep process starts over. This went on from 8:30 pm-1230am when finally she stayed asleep. Then she sleeps from 1230-330am and eats. When I try to get her back to sleep after that feed, she does the sleep/waking thing for 1.5 hour. It seems like she is tired b/c she falls asleep right away BUT maybe she is not tired enough?? Is it possible her days and nights are still mixed up and if so what more can I do to switch it up. When I try to get her to stay awake during the day she screams. She so badly wants to sleep.
Some other things to know: She hates to be swaddled. EVerytime I try, she goes ballistic and screams and her frustration escalates rather than having a calming effect. I watch as her twitching arms wake her up and I try to swaddle, and it amps her up. I have to hold her little arms when I want her to sleep.

Is there anything I can to do to help this situation?? thanks

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So What Happened?

I just wanted to thank all of you mamas for such helpful responses to this issue. I should have posted that my daughter is gaining weight just fine, so she if breastfeeding well. I think many of you were right in that I was overstimulating her. I have had a lot of success trying your suggested methods of calming her. She has slept for 6-7 hours at a time since I stopped overstimulating her at night. thanks so much for the help!

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N.D.

answers from Houston on

Right or wrong, I always let my daughter sleep in her swing in the livingroom with the daylight and the noise. I left the television on and I would vacuum while she was sleeping and my daughter always slept good for naps and at night when she was that young. Good luck!!

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V.B.

answers from Houston on

My daughter, who is my oldest, was such a great sleeper. She slept 8 hours per night starting at around 5 weeks old and then 10 hours per night starting at about 8 weeks old and never really looked back. She went through a few phases of interrupted sleep, but for the most part, she was a breeze! My son, on the other hand, was much more difficult to get to sleep. He also hated swaddling, although I finally figured out that I could swaddle him with one arm out and he was okay with that. He also had reflux, so we had to get that taken care of, but even after that was under control he still had trouble sleeping. Something one of the other posters mentioned was something I found out the hard way with my son. Every time he made just the slightest little noise, I was jumping out of bed to hush him and get him back to sleep and I think I was overstimulating him by doing that. I realized that he was a pretty light sleeper (and so am I) and he was still in a pack and play in our room, so I decided it was time for him to move to his own room. That actually helped A LOT! I couldn't hear every little move he made and he couldn't hear my hubby snoring. He started sleeping better almost immediately. I'm not sure if he was actually not waking up or if I just didn't hear every little noise, but even if he started to really fuss, by the time I got all the way upsairs to his room, he was usually back to sleep on his own. I would try to put your baby in her own room to sleep and just use a monitor so that you can hear her if she needs you. That is what ended up working for us, although he still took much longer to sleep through the night than my daughter did. I was at least able to get a couple of hours at a time. I would also try to keep her a little more stimulated during the day. It seems she may have her days and nights mixed up still. I wouldn't push the issue to the point where she is overtired, but you might try to keep her awake for an hour or two at a time during the day. Talk to her, sing to her, put her on a blanket in the middle of the room so that she can watch the fan and just be in the middle of the action. By the time you feed her after she wakes up, you should only need to entertain her for 30-45 minutes before she is tired again, but I would try to keep her up at least that long during the day. Then, at night, total contrast. Don't talk to her at all. Keep the lights low while changing and feeding, then wrap her up and put her right back to bed. You can just hold your hand on her if she fusses so that she knows you are there, but I wouldn't make a big production of soothing her with your voice because that may wake her up more. She should get on a better schedule in the next 4 weeks or so, but honestly, at 6 weeks old, I wouldn't expect much for now.

Oh, and I just can't help but mention that I think it is a HORRIBLE idea to give a 6 week old baby cereal as was mentioned in another post. Your baby does NOT need anything more than your breastmilk and don't let anyone else tell you that you're starving your baby because she isn't having solid foods. It is really very dangerous and irresponsible advice, so I hope that you see it as such and avoid going down that road. I would nurse on demand because it is likely your little one is having a growth spurt, but that is ALL she needs! Good luck to you, L.. I know how tough the lack of sleep is, especially if you have another child at home, so I hope you are able to get some rest soon.

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

My daughter is 2 months now and this same thing was happening with her! I did what I did with my son, I put her to sleep on her tummy. She can move her head pretty good. She is now sleeping 9-12 hours a night. I give her a bath at the same time every night,full breastmilk bottle, then make sure she burps good and then lay her down. If she hasa burped good and has no gas and she crys...I leave her for up to 30 min. If she crys. She usually goes to sleep in about 15. Min on her tummy. Of course the first night I did this I watched her to see what she would do. The arms moving does not wake her up b/c she can't make them jerk laying that way. You have to do waht you have to do to get sleep. Another thing you can try is pumping and giving her last feeding before bedtime, through a bottle. Good luck to you!

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C.

answers from Houston on

There are plenty of parenting areas where I have not felt very successful...but the sleep issue is NOT one of them. I'm no super mom, but I have SUPER sleepers.

At that age, I tried to get them on a bit of a daytime routine. It says you also have a vivacious boy, so rigid schedules for the baby are not really doable...just a routine as a guideline. I would nurse every 3 hours, and the routine would go like this...

-nurse
-keep baby up to play for 1 to 1 1/2 hours
-then put baby down for a nap until time to nurse again

Sometimes I would wake baby up from their nap to stay on schedule, not always. But I tried to never let them nap more than 2 hours at a time after they were 6 weeks old, unless I just absolutely needed the time for something.

Then I always nursed them upon waking, rather than to get them to sleep (except at night), because I didn't want them to be dependent upon that for sleeping.

After nursing, I would do whatever it took to keep them awake while keeping my sanity...play, floor gym, boppy pillow, infant carrier, bouncy sent close to where I am to watch for sleepiness. Talk to her alot, play when you have time. Just try to keep her awake.

Then, when it is time for sleep, come up with a routine. Snuggle her, let her use her pacifier to settle down if you want, but try not to let her fall asleep with it (because you know what happens every time it falls out). Then lay her down and pat her for a minute or so, then leave!! If she is screaming hysterically after a 5-10 minutes, go in and try again, but she's GOT to learn to go to sleep on her own.

So my schedule was a loose version of this:

7ish am Baby wakes and nurses
7:30-8:30ish Play, Keep baby awake
8:30-10ish Baby naps
10ish Baby wakes and nurses
10:30-11:30ish Play, Keep baby awake
11:30-1ish Baby naps
1:00ish Baby wakes and nurses

You get the point. They usually nursed at 7,10,1,4,7,10, then in bed for the night. And...VERY IMPORTANT HERE...between the 7pm wake/nurse and 10pm nurse/bedtime, I kept the baby awake the whole time. And if baby seemed to need it, I would cluster feed during that time, maybe nursing 2-3 times between 7-10pm. Then I would go ahead and nurse the baby to sleep at 10ish, but they would usually wake a bit during the transfer to bed & I would just do the same snuggle, lay down, pat, then leave!

This routine works for a while, and then you have to adjust. The baby will beging to stay awake longer periods, and she'll appear less hungry. So then you can feed every 4 hours, and keep awake for 2 hours and nap for 2 hours.

With my second 2 kids, each of them were sleeping through the night (from 10pm to about 7pm) from 7 weeks old.

I did do 2 other things with my kids that some people will frown on, but it worked for me. First, by about 4-6 weeks, when my babies had absolute head control & could lift their heads and turn side to side...we go to sleeping on stomachs. My kids never slept on their backs, because my first baby choked on his spit-up 2 times in the first week while laying flat on his back on the changing table. So he started side-sleeping with a sleep positioner at that time, and my other babies started out that way. Then when I am sure they have the head control to avoid laying face-first in spit-up, I put them to sleep on their stomachs and they sleep so much better snuggled up like that (especially when they hate swaddling like mine did). No pillows, no blankets, no toys...a nice, tight-fitting sheet, some footie pajamas or blanket sleeper, and that's it.

Okay...I have more to say, but I have to run. You can send me a message if you want more advice. Like I said...I hesitate to give advice in a lot of areas, but this one I feel very confident about. It's so nice to have good sleepers.

No matter what way you find to get more sleep, I wish it for you. You will feel like a much saner mommy!!

C.

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S.C.

answers from Houston on

I have a 5 week old and have a similiar situation. I also have 2 other children... so fortunately my experience with them is of some help.

The first thing to remember is... that every child is different... so their sleep habits will be different.

Next thing... your little one is still a newborn... it is entirely normal for him to sleep through the day. Remember, when he was in the womb he slept during the day, when you were the most active. So I would let him sleep during that time. It will have no bearing on whether he sleeps better at night.

As far as the 8:00 fussy time... we have experienced that as well. Back in the day, they use to call it "the crying hour". I would say, that it is more than likely gas. I give my little one mylacone drops around the time that she starts her fussing (the 8:00 crying has been pretty regualr for us).
If your litle one is fussy, and does not want to eat, gas is more than likely the problem. Just keep him calm as best as you can by putting light pressure on his belly (i.e> put him over your shoulder, put him belly down on your lap, then pat or rub his back)

Night time is a diffucult time for the first few months... it takes a while for a little one to get a routine. My daughter would fight her swaddling as well. She would fight to loosen her hands, and open her eyes every time I set her down.
I would try the "kidopatomus" wraps with the velcro (just because they are quick and easy). All of my children slept best when they were being held. I would lie down with them, nurse them to solid sleep... wait for a little bit... and then carefully put them tightly in the wrap and place them in the bassinet.

There are nights when I am so tired that i just fall asleep holding the baby... if you are afraid to do this, i would recommend a "cosleeper"... so that the baby is protected in your bed.

The constant night time feeding is, again, very normal.... as he develops his routine. you just have to be able to feed on request for a while.

I hope some of this info helps.
i am sorry that there is no set solution on gatting a baby to sleep through the night.
I can honestly say that sometimes they NEVER are able to sleep through the night as babies.

Just remember to be patient and relaxed during this first through months, it IS tough, but it goes by quickly :)

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A.P.

answers from San Antonio on

my suggestion is to buy the book "the baby whisperer solves all your problems" this book was the most help to me. Both of my babies slept best on their tummys and slept much better. I did what I had to so I could be sane.

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E.L.

answers from Houston on

First of all I just need to say that all of the responses so far are great. I would just like to give my input. My newest - 11 weeks - hates to be swaddled also - that is if her hands are in. She likes to be wrapped up with her hands out so that she can move around. She will probably be a thumb sucker. Secondly, she would get really restless about the same time yours does. I have found in experimenting with her that the problem is too much stimulation. She would not nurse, and could not be comforted. The only thing that would calm her was to swaddle her (hands out) and put her in her bouncer in our bedroom. This is where she sleeps; it is dark, cooler than the rest of the house and we keep a fan running for background noise. When I put her to bed she may fuss for a short while, but soon goes to sleep for at least 4 to 5 hours. When I nurse her I do not turn on any lights and I just sit in the bed and put her right back in the bouncer after she falls to sleep and breaks her latch.

The best thing for you to do is take each post and try one thing at a time. Eventually you will find a routine that fits. Each baby is different and yours will have her own preferences and schedule. Good luck and God bless.

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O.S.

answers from Killeen on

Ok, number one, how is your milk supply and her latch? How many wet/poopy diapers is she having? She should have 5-6 wet (disposable) 6-7 wet if using cloth. She should have occasional poopy diapers that are the size of a quarter. The poo should be a mustard yellow in color, seed-like pieces are normal. If poo is greenish in color regularly it often means an imbalance of foremilk/hindmilk.

At 6 weeks, using a pacifier isn't always the best plan. Your milk supply needs to be well-established and the way to do that is by letting baby suckle as often as she needs. That said, you may not have a schedule that permits that. She may not like the shape of the pacifier or having a pacifier at all.

Swaddling--most babies crave swaddling, but it has to be done tightly to gain the benefits. Babies love the tightness of a swaddle because it reminds them of the womb. My children would kick their feet out, but loved to have the blanket wrapped snugly around them. You might try tucking one arm and wrapping the other.

I really think this sounds like a breastfeeding issue. When baby doesn't get enough of the fatty hindmilk they tend to be fussy. You also may have a fast letdown. When that happens baby will pull away and may fuss or go back to sleep.

O.

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A.M.

answers from El Paso on

She's still pretty little, but in a few weeks, just do everything you can to
keep her awake for about 10-15 minutes after she eats during the day. At night, eat and right
back to sleep. Should help... :)

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S.W.

answers from Austin on

There have been some great suggesstions so far. I would only add one thing. I worry that you may be over-stimulating her trying to get her to go to sleep. You say you work with her for 2 to 4 hours with a constant cycle of paci and patting . I would recommend if she wakes us when the pacifyer falls out, let her cry for a little while before coming in or touching her. She needs to learn to self-soothe and the added stimulation of you coming in may make it even harder for her. With mine, they would put themselves right back to sleep (with less than 5 minutes of cring) if they woke up after I put them down for the night. Good Luck!

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A.C.

answers from Houston on

The best advice I got--and I feel like it worked--was: 1)not to force anything at this age 2)make a clear separation between day sleep and night sleep and 3) don't wake a sleeping baby and don't try to keep a clearly sleepy baby awake.

Day sleep does not a take place in a dark room and is exposed to normal, everyday noises. Don't use the noise machine during the day.

Night sleep is quiet, dark and peaceful. Use strategically placed nightlights to nurse and change diapers without too much illumination which may cause excess stimulation.

You should also consider that this is the prime age for a growth spurt and your little one needs to nurse more often. Secondly, your milk supply is likely very established at this point and your letdown could be too much for her...that is why she won't stay latched.

Good luck. I know how tired you must be and it can get a frustrating.

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A.O.

answers from Sherman on

She may have her nights and days mixed up. Start keeping her awake longer during the day, play music, leave the lights on, vacuum, etc... and then an night start calming things down. Lower the lights, talk more softly, etc...

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R.P.

answers from Houston on

She's simply hungry! I would find one of those baby food bottles that has an "X" or "Y" cut nipple and get some gerber first foods rice cereal (one of the ones least likely to cause an allergic reaction). You can try giving her one to two tablespoons at a time just before her bedtime. A full belly should make her sleep more than an hour or two at a time. I am sorry but I hate pediatricians that try to tell you to feed your baby only breast milk and formula for the first six months. Put yourself in her shoes: would you be satisfied with only liquid diet for SIX MONTHS? No? Well....common sense would point to her not being satisfied either. While you were pregnant with her, she ate a wonderfully rich diet of of food (anything you ate, so did she, albeit through an umbilical cord) so why give her bland, tasteless liquid stuff? Yes, the milk and formula are wonderful for her and have nutrients that she needs but good lord. Quit starving her!

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J.S.

answers from Houston on

She's growing rapidly, feed her on demand. She is way too little to be on any schedule right now. It is normal for breastfed babies to nurse every 1.5 hours- 3 hours the first couple of months and when they go through growth spurts they may nurse for what seems around the clock for a couple of days. Do not ignore these early cues, as it could interfere with your milk supply. It takes a good full 6+ weeks to build up your milk supply. Sleep when she sleeps. In time she will sleep for longer intervals.

If you feel she is not latched correctly, talk to a lactation consultant asap! Make sure she ends the feed, do not switch her prematurely to the other breast. She may not be getting enough hind milk. If she is gassy, irritable and her stools are loose that is the likely culprit. You may need to feed her on one side for 2 or 3 feedings before using the other breast.

Good Luck to you. It is tiring in the beginning, but well worth it.

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