Sorry - More Questions About Pooping!

It looks like you are on the road to taking care of this. This may however be more than just drinking water and eating. This may be a form of aneorexia behavior. Just from what I have read you just got custody of her and her world may have changed so much this is the only thing that she feels she has control over.
My suggestion is to take her to the doctor and get her some talk therapy with the rest of what you are doing.

Your daughter may be allergic to milk and dairy products. You might try a few days without any of these products and see if it will help.

I would try feeding her more fresh fruits and vegetables and make certain she gets 5-7 servings a day. You don't want her body to rely on a laxative product for her bowel movemets. I would try this for a month and see if this problem starts to improve. My girls love snacking on broccoli and cauliflower of course with ranch dip but they happily eat them for a snack. I have two daycare kids I watch who had this problem when they started eating all their meals at my house it went away. Daily bowel movements for them now. Last night they had canned papaya and guava for the first time. The only difference is the increase in fiber in their diet. My girls 7 and 3 have grown up eating this stuff. You could get her some Fiber One bars for a snack. They have 9 grams of fiber in one bar. It could be a sweet granola bar like treat for her.
I would also make certain she has a daily glass of some type of cranberry juice. People swear by it for helping prevent UTI's.Maybe if you could find a flavored water she likes to drink to get the fluid level up . There are some on the market without any sugar in them . She thinks she is getting a treat and you are getting her to drink water.
Good luck.

She might benefit from a probiotic. Fred Meyer carries a childrens chewable in orange flavor in the health department fridge. This will naturally get things back to balance. Antibiotics disrupt the good bacteria in the stomach and intestines, this could be what is slowing her system down. You may want to increase her fruit intake (no bananas), also dried fruit. Good luck.

one thing that helped my boys is giving htem fresh or frozen fruit smoothies. I use yougurt that is now all the rage for your stomach health, and I use strawberries and bananas. whatever fruit the kids like. I will even use sorbet. The mango is great with frozen strawberries and ornage juice for the liquid. Just make them as part of breakfast and or an after school snack. Its a great way to ge the fiber they need and they love it. You can even put the fiber sure in them. Also at night give her about half a cup of celestial seasonings sleepy time tea with some honey. Its a nautural but mild laxative. Just sneak things in that she dosent realize are going to be good for her. And dont fuss over the water. Just give her juice or milk, anything to get her hydrated then move into the water issue./
Hope that helps.

infections yes when they was young. Mine drinks cranberry juice every week. I got her to drink it by mixing 7-up and cranberry juice. More 7-up than cranberry juice to start.

Also make her buy what she wants at the store. Maybe it is just the wrong juices? Some kids like them yohoo's. Some like them sobees and so on... Maybe she also needs to be explained to that if she isnt kept clean that crabs and such can start leaching blood and crawl all over her skin. Showing her pictures of them might help. You say she just moved in? I am thinking someone hasnt explained some things to her? Something has happened for her to think this way. Might be seperation issues. Think you need some counceling for her.
Good Luck

My daughter is 7. She has always needed extra help with her bowels. I use benefiber ( 3 tsp a day ) and fleet stool softener. I also give her prunes and flax seeds. Lots and lots of fiber! It helps alot.

Girls have a higher tendancy to hold it because of emotional issues. You may want to see about some counceling. Has she had x-rays or ultrasounds recently? My daughter can get dangerously backed up. We had to use mineral oil and enimas until she cleared. Mineral oil is a natural laxative with no side effects or dependance. We use 2 TBS every day to clear it up then 1 TBS until we are confident again. -Tastes awful but you can put it in juice.
You may also want to have scheduled trips to the bathroom. Try a watch with multipule alarm settings. You can have it beep every two hours and she can just go with out it being a big deal. You'll have to talk to her teachers to make sure the timer dosen't interfere with classes and all.

Just a thought - to get my daughter to drink more water I give her flavored water like Propel Fitness Water or any store brand. This way she is excited to drink water and in our situation she doesn't ask for juice or soda. I hope you find a solution for your family.

YES!!! My 7 year old battles constipation and has a problem pooping in the toilet, this has been an ordeal in our house as well. So what I have found with my daughter is no matter how much fruit, veggies, salad I feed her it does not help, I could give her fiber everyday it doesn't work, so I give her a stool softener (like Colace only the generic because it's expensive) this is what they recommend after you have a baby it's not a laxative so it doesn't bother her stomach) and I also give her acidophilus, I buy it on the health isle at fred meyer, you can get chewable or pills to swallow. They have to stay in the fridge. It is specifically for healthy functioning of the intestinal system. When I give her these every day or at least every other day she seems to be able to go, other wise she has this constant urge to push in her pants and always has poop in them, its awful. I'm not sure about the potty, other than sometimes when constipated can cause urination to leak. I found this out through my son who is having problems out of the blue with urinating and may need surgery they asked first if he had problems with constipation because I guess it can cause frequent urination, so if you get the constipation under control maybe it will help with that. Hope all goes well.

What does her doctor say? I have a friend whos daughter was 7 when they had her checked by a specialist. She has trouble holding urine also. She does have a medcal problem and my need surgery to correct it. Talk to a specialist.

encompresis is a hard issue to deal with. our pediatrician noted that it usually has to do with a control or "parenticized" child. When the child is expected to perform parenting duties beyond their control they try to control something.
my oldest step daughter had this problem until she was in high school and peer pressure finally helped--though it made it much more difficult in other respects. Try to provide plenty of fruit, water and a stool softener will help too. My daughters still take them daily.

Has she had her kidneys and bladder checked for problems. maybe her urge to go insnt like ours or maybe she doesn't really have one. There are known problems called immature bladder; I know this 2 lil girls (twins) that had this, they were 7 and wore training pants because they didn't feel the urge. I am someone that normally only "poops" 2 or 3 times a week until recently. I think you are doing the right thing about changing her diet and maybe you could get some crystal light for her to put in water. They aren't too bad. I hate water as well, I am a strong believer that lack of water will constipate you-stress too could keep her constipated also. Good luck and I hope she feels better!!

This is such an issue! I know. My own daughter has a hard time with the whole # 2 issue and will not go until she gets home. Sometimes that is ALL DAY. It started when she was potty training. I started giving her these choc. drops(something a friend told me about you can buy at the grocery store, some kind of flavored liquid laxitive) in her chocolate milk, to make her regular in her sippy cup in the mornings just so she couldnt hold it and that helped. Now that she is older I always have gatorade, popsicles, vitimin water electrolyte type drinks in the fridge she knows she can have anytime. I buy the small bottles so she can focus on drinking a "little bit" instead of the big huge bottles. I also feed my family a higher fiber diet with things like whole wheat pasta and green beans. I also keep a drawer full of apples that she can have as many as she wants without asking. She is 8 1/2 now and we keep her active(which also helps your digestive tract) with sports and playing outside when the weather is nice. She seems to be a lot more regular and has less problems until we go somewhere and we travel alot, so I just have to make sure she gets the right kind of fluids. I usually stay away from fruit juices I dont think they help much. Good luck, this is never easy.

L.,
Have you talked with her teacher yet? Getting the teacher involved may help the situation. It sounds like what you're doing at home is being demolished by a day at school! Talk with the teacher- let him/her know there is a problem and that your daughter needs to drink a specified amount of water while at school and needs to be excused to the bathroom a specified amount of times, or something like that. The teacher should be more than willing to cooperate, I promise! I am a teacher and if a parent came to me with this situation I would make sure that I set about helping the situation. Sometimes in school kids are not allowed to have water bottles and drink from them and are only allowed to use the bathroom at specific times. Talking with the teacher will ensure that 1) the teacher understands there is a problem and a need for different rules for your daughter- at least for now and 2) that your daughter gets into a routine that makes things "work" a little more smoothly.
Good luck and I hope this tidbit helps.
M.

Has she been tested for other issues- like ADD or not to be too worrisome... but has she been abused in the past? I have to say, constipation or not, this isn't normal. Has she been to a specialist(urologist?). I would also consider counseling for her, just because at 9 there would be a lot of shame surrounding this issue. It also sounds like an issue of control for her. She can control it, and she sort of has the family under control here too. She just had a major life change (as did you!).

Good luck, and how blessed is she to have someone so fully open their life, love and time to her.

My daughter had the same trouble, other than she could hold her pee forever! We did all the fiber stuff into her drinks, just gave her real bad cramps and made her have the runs, we never really ever found the right amount. her touble was that she wasn't drinking enough water, and stress!
Stress was the real big thing... at the time she had a teacher that was real mean to all the kids in the class, talking down to them, yelling and things like that, plus a boy liking her that she didn't like him back, and he wouldn't leave her alone.
When we moved school's in about 3 months bugging her to drink her water, water water, things started getting better. Now she will only have trouble once in awhile... mainly if she has been at friends house eatting things that we don't have alot or just to much diary.
We went to lot of doctors too before the move and they never did find anything...
If she had alot of stress in the home with her mom, and now the move to your house, it might just take some time for things to clear up... best of luck

My son has what the doctor calls "functional constipation". I add Benefiber to all our meals. The whole family is regular...LOL

I know she is your step-daughter, but have you had a girl to girl talk about proper cleanliness? My 8yr old DD gets a rash around her vagina when she doesn't take care of herself. We have discussed many times that when you are in the shower you need to clean. When you use the toilet you need to wipe from front to back, etc...

Holding your bladder & bowels is a sign that they are in control of something. Maybe once you establish the open lines of communication through cleanliness, she will open about why she is doing this. She might be having trouble in school or living in a new environment. There is a root to the problem, so start digging.

You can "monitor" her at school, you and your husband might need to have a meeting with her teacher and other support staff about it, but it is possible. Send an email to the teacher and start some two-way communication. Schools have teams that help students beyond just their academics. If it is a true medical diagnosis, the school can even give her a 504 plan, which would give her accomodations like having a bottle of water with her in class, being allowed to use the restroom when necessary, and eating a healthful snack to keep her blood sugar and fiber intake going. Her teacher could email you when issues arise, or just to let you know how she's doing.

It sounds like she might need some "training" time to understand the way her body works. 9 years old is old enough to understand basic body functioning. Her pediatrician might have some helpful ideas. She also might be using this as a type of power struggle with you all, because her toileting has, as you said, become a primary focus in the family.

My husband is a mental health counselor who works in a special hospital-school environment with kids ages 8-18. He is always very concerned when he has a child over 8 who has toileting issues. In his experience, it is usually a symptom of something else beneath the surface. You should reconsider a good youth/adolescent counselor. Many community health programs offer referrals.

Good luck to all of you!

I would suggest looking into chiropractic care. I've heard countless stories about how chiropractic care can solve constipation (sometimes even just one adjustment is enough!) I'm enclosing a link to a story about treatment for these issues. http://www.chiropracticresearch.org/NEWS_Chronic_childhoo...
I've been a patient for years and I will be for life. Not because I can't function without it. But because I'm choosing to maintain my health. Both of my daughters have been seeing chiropractors since they were 3 days old. I know of a great chiropractor in Bellingham that has experience with constipation in patients. I don't know yet if I'm allowed to share names or businesses on this site. I just joined.

I just saw I can respond about a negative experience so I guess positive one os ok too! Natural Way Chiropractic on State St. in Bellingham is where I go. Dr. Covey has shared with me stories about this issue. He is great with kids too.

one of my friends daughters had simular problems and it turned out to be some sort of medical condition. I don't know what it was called but maybe a doctors visit is in order. To help her go she would give her some coffee.

My son had constipation issues that made toilet training a major issue. After we got the mechanics fixed, he was able to go. But now, 2-1/2 years later, he will still withhold stool when he is upset or stressed about something. When we adopted our 18 month old daughter last year, he went through a month of it...I had to monitor him and talk to him about how he felt and how much I loved him and really address his displacement anxiety. I can't help but think that is part of her problem. The only thing she feels she can control is herself...and this is a very non-verbal way of communicating her need to feel in control. Also, if she was on antibiotics for the UTI, that can mess up her bacteria in her intestines. Try a probiotic...natural foods section, the pearls. This will replace the good bacteria that was killed along with the bad.
To address her emotional issues, you and your husband may want to consider alternating one on one date nights with her. She may feel more comfortable talking with you or him outside the home, one on one. But because you both work and need to develop a relationship with her, you may want to take turns for that one on one time.

You have gotten lots of great advice, but there is one thing I haven't seen anyone mention. Has she been checked for food allergies?
My 10 year old has had problems wetting the bed and being constipated for as long as I can remember. Last summer we had all 4 kids tested for allergies (blood drawn testing NOT skin pricks) and were amazed at all they were allergic to. My 10 yr old didn't have the list of 15 things that the other 3 did, but the one food he is severely allergic to is milk which is one of the only 3 foods he will eat (due to his OCD & anxiety issues).
A lot of people associate food allergies with aniphylactic (sp) or skin reactions, but more often they are sinus or abdominal. I've spent the last 9 mo "weaning" milk out of his diet and he is SO much better! The best substitute is rice milk. You can use it with soups, casseroles, baking, etc. and no one will notice.
I strongly suggest that you have her tested for allergies, and good luck! Just be a supporter for her and let her know it's not her fault, sometimes our bodies just don't cooperate especially if we're stressed out.
~M.

My daughter, now 10, had a very difficult time with being constipated for quite a awhile, regardless of whether she drank enough water or not or what she ate. A neighbor of ours, a pharmacist, recommended Fletchers Castoria. It is very natural and non stimulating so it doesn't cause the sudden need to go or cramping that often accompany the suppositories. It takes like root beer so it is very easy to get kids to take. You will probably have to ask the pharmacy for it if you can't find it on the shelves. Because it tastes good and works so naturally it is, unfortunately, a favorite choice for many young girls trying to lose weight - eating disorders. Again, this product works naturally, softens the stool and was an absolute God send for us. Good luck!

Spending snack time with her is a really good idea. Also, if that becomes a problem you could talk to her teacher and send a healthy snack with her and make sure she eats that instead of whatever is offered by her school. I know you can't have full control of what enters her mouth but at least you can give it your full effort.

Since dehydration is such a major health issue and water seems to be a fight you could try juice or for something sugar-free you could do Crystal Lite or Koolaid made with Splenda instead of sugar. I think that it would be easier on the both of you if you were to work on one bad habit at a time. Whichever you think is more important. Try backing down on pushing the water so much and maybe focus on just getting her hydrated and on some healthy snacks, or visa versa. Winco has some really good bran muffins (yummy and sweet but loaded with fiber and vitamins...my toddler LOVES them). Dried fruit is another snack that's really good for getting the "flow" going. Some really good laxative ones are peaches, pears, apricots, raisins and of course prunes (I like the ones that are more dry--like fruit leather--as apposed to the gooey ones). I know this is hard. I hope everything works out good for you and your daughter. Keep in mind that you are fighting agianst everything that she's been taught about eating up til this point. And the sudden change in scenery may be causing some of it's own anxiety--maybe she's comfort eating.

try giving her prunes as a snack they now come in single packs - also there is flavored water fruit20...hope it helps

I'd recommend asking her pediatrician for a referral to a good child's psychologist - one who specializes in anxiety. It sounds as though this has WAY more to do with mental health issues than it does with diet. Perhaps being able to speak with a professional about her feelings will help her relax a bit on the toileting issues.

I would definitely recommend that you STOP telling her that her toileting issues are a consequence of her failure to listen to her body. (This is NOT a kid who deals with pressure very well . . . and no wonder she's becoming paranoid! She doesn't need to hear that this is her fault!)

Get her the mental health help she needs, and make sure she has access to all of the beverages (milk, watered down juice, Kool Aid, etc. - just no soda or anything caffeinated)that she wants to drink. (But don't pressure her in any way to drink more. At nine she understands that drinking more will make her urinate more - she does NOT want to urinate more. If she's allowed to drink something she likes, she may be more inclined to drink more of it without really considering the consequences that it will make her toilet more often.)