Sorry, Another Potty Question

Keep him in the underwear, or tell him if he keeps wetting them you will have to take them any and he won't be able to wear anything. My son Devin hated the thought of not being able to wear them and tried harder to go in the potty. Also, try letting him stand up on a stool and pee like a big boy into the big potty. Devin is almost three, and has been standing to pee for at least 6 months. He thinks he is just like DAD.

Hello,

I had a hard time with my last son. So they told me to wait till he wanted to . He was 3 years when he learned after all. But before I went carzy because all my friends kids were potty train by two. I thought he would never learn and I tryed everthing every body told me... Just wait he will come around!

I fought with my daughter for a year and a half over potty training. Finally when she was just a little over 3 she told me she doesnt wear pullups anymore. Shes been potty trained (except for over night) ever since. I swore to myself that day I will never stress over the potty again. My suggestion is to just give it time. Control how much or late he drinks but its not worth losing precious play time.

Hi. What worked for me is taking my kids to the bathroom every hour throughout the day, even if they didn't want to go. I had to hold my kids in place while they pooped because pooping is harder than peeing and they seemed to want to give up the first day or two when it came to pooping, but eventually they will have to go and if you run them over to the potty when it looks like they have to go, they'll have no choice because the poop will be coming out. I hope this helps.

I disagree with most of the responses. My son turned three july 29th, and we had been working on the potty thing for months. I encouraged but did not stress out about it, knowing that he would one day decide to go on his own. And sure enough, he did. We saw Thomas the Train shoes at Target, and I told him he copuld have them when he he used the potty. I bought them, but he could only wear them with "No more diapers!" And, like magic, one day last it all clicked and now we are potty trained! I believe that it has alot to do with maturity -- they've gotta be ready. What's the rush? They'll grow up before you know it, and you'll want that baby back!

L.

This isn't going to happen over night. This is a natural reaction to being potty trained. They get to playing and forget. Just keep up the timer and taking him every 15 minutes. Also if he has not drank or ate anything and he doesn't have to go don't force him. It is different with each ckild and I do believe when he gets to day care that will influence him a lot I have 2 boys and each is different. One would go on the toilet in the right position and the other had to go on the toilet backwards, he didn't want to quit playing with his cars. Just have patience you are doing fine and I do applaud you for not making a big deal when he has an accident. Though if you think he is deliberately for instance comes and stands right in front of you and goes then maybe a little time out would be good. Like I said it is different with each child. Good luck J.

You are doing really good with the rewards, timer etc!! 2 1/2 is a bit early, normally by the time a boy is 3 he is ready to go. Perhaps you are starting him too early; also, I have learned that it is a "control thing" for boys. Stay with what you are doing, everyone child is different. We got the urinating down with no problem, then a couple of weeks later, he degressed rather than continue to progress. This is a big step for children, and to have to control their bodily functions after having been in diapers all their life. Be patient and do not force him, when he is ready to shed the diapers/pull ups he will let you know. If he is kicking and screaming then you may choose to delay this whole process. If he feels that strongly about going to the bathroom you may be doing more damage then good. Be patient with him, remember this is a really big step in his life. He will be fine, trust me! **Let him pee outside when he has to go. My son did that (in the backyard) and it really helped the situation. It was something new, something that eliminated the stress of having to go in the toilet. It just sort of put a new twist on the situation.

my son's day care potty trained him. my best advice to you is to talk to the teachers at his school, anybody that can train that many kids has got it down pat.

my daughter was 2 years and 9 months, and we'd tried everything suggested. then i found a dvd on amazon.com called Potty Power. she watched it every night for two or three weeks, and then she suddenly started doing it. she asked if she could go use the potty after the show went off, and she went in there and did it. they sing songs and make using the potty fun, and they get so excited when the kids in the show do it that i guess it got her excited, too. a few months later i sold it on amazon for about what i paid for it, but it was worth its weight in gold!

I am not sure that I would quit trying but it shouldn't be a power struggle either. This is something new to your child and every child learns at a different pace and matures at a different pace. I found when my husband would take him to the bathroom it helped- because he wanted to be just like Daddy.. Personally I wouldn't go back to pull-ups. Perhaps reading a child friendly book to him about potty training. There are many out there to choose from. Coming from the thought process of a 2 1/2 year old potty training isn't a priority for them. If you're stressed about the whole thing he will sense it and it will probably take longer for him to get into the routine of using a potty. Hope this helps some.

I suggest to keep on doing what your doing. Don't go backwards! Only use the pull up at night time and when you feel it is absolutely necessary.

My twin girls did the same thing (kicking and screaming). We had to split them and just stay with the routine. Consistancy is the key to learning. Don't let him wear you down or let him see you second guessing yourself. Remember, you are stronger than he is.

Hello there...
I am a RN and just had to share some information with you when I read your email. I have a 2 1/2 yr old boy.
If I were you I would just let your son go for a little while. I read so much about potty training while trying to potty train my little guy and all the literature states that if you push them they will go backwards and it will take them forever to train. It's kinda like it has to be at his time and his idea.
I have been here as well. At 2 yrs my son showed interest in the potty and would hold it through his naps etc. I introduced the potty and he did well. Then he went backwards and stopped. THIS IS NORMAL. The next month he decided he would be completely potty trained.
Just give it time. You are doing a great job!

C.

Hello, I have a very demanding boy he is going to be 4 Oct. 12Th. He was 3 when I realy started potty training. I couldn't get any help from his daddy to show Johnny, my son how to hold it and pee. I seperated from johnny's daddy for other reasons. I got with one of my ex'es. He has been a great help with showing my son how to pee in the potty. We went as far as having Johnny hold his undies in his hand and look at them smell them. Then we asked him if he would like other people to see him in nasty pants and smell him like that? After a few times of sitting on the potty in time out he started running to the bathroom to use it. I realy had no problem after that. He would run to the potty to #1 and #2. I have a potty that sits on the real potty so he can put it on the potty and do his bussiness like the big people do. When he tell's me he has to do a #2, I put him on the potty and tell him to holler at me when he gets done and I will come back in and help him get off of the potty and clean his hinnie. I only use pull'ups AT NIGHT.... I don't use the big boy panties as much as I do the training pantins, NOT PULL UPS. They are still undies just thicker. Johnny seems to like them better than the real undies, they fit looser and arn't as hard to pull up for the kid's. I hope my suggestions help you in some way. When the day is done if he is doing the right thing then you reword him for the DAY not every time he goes. You do tell him praises, nice things.I only had to clean like 2 or 3 poop in undies and about the same for the pee pants. I still use the pull ups at night. I'm hopping to stop using them soon. We have told him that when this pack of pull ups is gone he is going to be in the big boy undies to sleep at night and we don't want any accidents at night. You dan't have them in your pull pus so don't start in your undies at night. He said ok, I won't. I feel pretty good about puting him to bed now with just undies on. You don't have to be ugly when you put him on the potty just tell him you will be back and tell him to holler at you when he is done. Check on him every now and then to be sure he is sitting on the potty like he should. Ask him if he has poop comming out yet, don't be scared to ask him the question. If he does he should tell you. Johnny told me not yet but it is comming. I just had to leave him sitting and return a few minets later and asked him again. He then told me that he wasn't done. S.

Okay, let me tell you how I did it.... The only difference is I have a girl. First, I went to the store and bought a huge bag of Smarties. Then, We got up one random morning(random for her, not me!!!), We made a HUGE ordeal of "throwing away" all of the diapers and pull-ups. Then I just started giving her juice. I would take her to the potty every 5-10 min, DON'T ASK, just take him.(I also suggest getting some Cheerio's, My aunt used to put some in the toilet for her son to "aim" at, that made it even funner for him) EVERYTIME my little girl would go potty, even a tiny bit, I would give her a Smartie. LITERALLY, After 3 days of this CONSTANTLY, She was fully potty-trained!!! The key is consistancy. I had to stay home for 3 days and not go anywhere, but it was totally worth it!! Oh yeah, if you go to Wal-mart, you can get 10-packs of underware for cheap, and trust me you will need about 3 packs. I think on the first day, she had probably 10 accidents, then on day 2, maybe 6, by day 3, only 1. After that, NONE!!!! It was AWESOME!!! Well, I hope some of this helps you, Trust me, I feel your pain. And I am sure you are a wonderful mother!!!!
OH yeah I almost forgot the most important part, When he does potty, even the tiniest little bit, make the BIGGEST DEAL! Make up a silly song and dance, Ours was, "Woo Hoo Woo Hoo, Big Girl, Big Girl, Woo Hoo Woo Hoo!" And we would dance around and hoot and hollar, then she would her PRIZE!! We always called it s prize!! Let me know how everything turns out!!

Don't go to pull-ups - unlees you are out some where, I always felt that makes them think they still have a diaper and thats why they pee anyways, but try taking him to the toilet EVERYTIME he sips, drinks, or eats anything, and keep up with the whole exciting drama when he does go, it will take time, I still have lil acciedents w/ my 3yr. old girl but you'll be fine no one said it was easy, so don't give up, and your baby is never to young, hec my 5yr. old was trianed at 1yr.1/2 and my mom said I was trianed at 10 months - dont know how but thats what she said- the thing is you keep trying, cause if you give up they give up!

We seem to be getting potty on the brain. You have a good situation in my opinion. I have a suggestion that will require your husband's assistance. Most little boys will emulate their father quite easily. Sit and read a book while dad reads the newspaper and all. When he is home have him take the boy to the bathroom. Then he can tell him what a good little man he is becoming. In the event he is not home you can keep a chart of when he goes so dad can see. He can call during the day to encourage him to go to the bathroom and if possible you can have your son call him when he does. It will be a commitment on dad's part but it might make all the difference in the world. Many parents find it helpful to have dad involved with a boy's potty training if at all possible. Hope this helps out.

My advice would be to hold off for a while. It sounds like he could be trained but doesn't really want to yet. I wouldn't force anything like you said. Just go with the flow and try the pull ups. That way you're not cleaning him up several times per day and he is not getting use to being wet in his big boy undies. I would not completely forget about it though. I would still ask him if he needs to go and talk about going on the potty but don't make him upset about it. If he doesn't have any interest yet, don't worry. I have a son the exact same age. He was 2 in January. He has no interest in going on the potty. He hasn't done it once yet but, we talk about it a lot and about the cool big boy undies he will get to wear when he does it. He gets excited talking about it but it is still a little too scary for him. I won't push him to do it because I know he will want to soon enough---I can tell by how excited he gets when we talk about being a big boy like daddy and his cousin and uncles. He is fascinated how the big boys pee (not that he watches them all the time but you can tell he is getting interested). There is more to training than just the physical symptoms of readiness. They have to be mentally prepared and accepting of it or it will be a very long process. Good luck!

M.

I have one that just turned three who had similar patterns. It is not defiance as much as laziness and getting tired of being made to sit there. I finally got so frustrated with the inopportune times he would choose to tell me that he had messed himself, that i finally told him he was a big boy who knew to use the potty and that the next time he had an accident, he would have to clean it up. He pooped himself and I supervised and of course when he finished his "clean-up", I did it right, but he has had only one accident since then because he did not like cleaning the mess himself. He had to take off the underwear and rinse them, put them in the washer, clean his bottom with wipes, throw them away and then wash his hands. I still praise him and reward him but it took him being on the mom side to see why it so much easier to just use the potty.

He may be wanting to compete for attention with the new baby. If he becomes a big boy he's not the baby any more. You should have his dad take him to the potty when he is available - they like to mimic what dad does - you need to have him wear the same type of underwear that dad wears - if he wears boxers - then you need little boy boxers - if he wears briefs - you need briefs, and so on....the more they can copy dad the better........as long as you get him on the right track it will be easy for him to complete the rest of potty training at school. P.

I can only tell you what worked for us. Our nephew has lived with us since just before 2 yrs old this last march. His mother asked us if we could try to potty train him. We would let him come in the bathroom with us when we had to pee and we would tell him "see, Aunt so-n-so goes peepee on the potty, and cousin so-n-so goes peepee on the potty," and... on and on till we named everyone in the house. Once we were done, we would turn and say see the peepee in the potty, YAYYYYyyy.. All the big celebration and all. We also stopped using pull-ups because he would not feel wet enough. We let him go comando for those first 2 weeks and we would ask him regularly if he needed to go potty until he would start telling us he needed to potty first. Once he started telling us he needed to to potty, we started in the big boy undies and would have him wear socks. Wet undies and socks are very uncomfortable. We got him to go #2 on the potty by figuring out what time of day he tended to do that and we'd take him before hand and sit him on the potty. He kicked, he screamed, he cried and tried to climb down, but I sat in the hall outside the door with the door open and I would remind him to stay up there when he would protest. I let him cry, and scream and kick, but I wouldn't look directly at him. He finally did his poopoo in the potty and, like the other celebrations, we did that extra special for that too. OH, before I forget, we wouldn't flush until he left the room. It seemed that the noise scared him.
We did that several times even after a couple of accidents in the house, but now he has been totally potty trained for the last 3 months.
I wish you all the luck. I know that every child is different. My own son was very slow to potty train.

I would just let it go and try again later. He might decide he wants to when he's at school. When my son was 2 1/2, his daycare teacher said she wanted to start training him and that he couldn't go into the 3 year old room without being trained and there was only 5 months until he was three and, and, and...... I told her that he had shown zero interest and I didn't think he was ready and that I didn't want to stress him out about it and that five months is a REALLY long time to a 2 year old. If someone is ready, it doesn't take five months. I did agree to let her try though since she said the whole class was working on it together. After two weeks, she said that he really wasn't ready and was it ok to just try later, which was my philosophy in the first place. I waited until he showed an interest, which was right before he turned three and he was potty trained in a week. I'm so glad I didn't spend 5 months stressing both of us out about it.

my son was almost 3 1/2 before he actually started going on his own & that was only b/c of the daycare. they used a buddy system & that was the best thing ever! they sent one wearing pullups w/one who was trained. it was great! he was going on his own within 2 days & he was done with the pullups. what a relief!
i tried everything - rewards & no rewards... nothing worked. until then.
i would say - wait until school & maybe they will have a better bright idea - that will work for him.
good luck!

R.,
My son (who is now 8yrs) drove me crazy with the potty training. I don't know if this helps but he was almost three and would not use the potty. The pre-school he was supposed to start (mind you it was not a daycare...it was a 4hr/day preschool) stated that 3year olds had to be potty trained. I kept telling him he had to be a big boy if he wanted to go to school otherwise they would not let him go. I was getting real worried, because up until the day before he started he was still wetting his pants. But he started to use the Big Boy Potty the day before he started school I told him that he could go now becaue he was a big boy now...mind you there still were accidents (even up until 5yrs of age).

I first got him to "stinky" on the potty because it was easier to train him to do that first (rather than pee). I could tell when he was concentrating and would run him in there and pull his pants off and put him on the potty (all the whole now saying how big and prud I'd be if wer made it). I tried to be excited and make it like it was a fun game in a sense. I also let him see me put it in the potty every time he did it in his pants. Pretty soon he would use it for "stinky" and then I tackeled the pee. I didn't find w/ eithr of my kids that sitting them on the potty for extended periods of time bode well. It's frustrating but the key is to watch and be fast. It doesn't seem like he doesn't know when he has to go. It might me laziness or...I see you have another "baby" and he might be trying to compete w/ him by "staying a baby" himself. You might want to consider that thought too.

I'll think on it some more and try to remember some tricks I used (I do remember that my son was MUCH harder to train than my daughter though).

H.

Hi
I already responded to the other lady about potty-training, I don't know if you have a way to read that. But I have six kids, potty-trained them all the way my Mom trained us with great success. Most of my kids were a little over a year old when I trained them, but some were almost 2 before I began--It depended on how pregnant I was with the next baby!
From what I've seen of others who use pull-ups for potty-training, I can tell you they are the worst thing that ever happened to Moms. It needs to be unpleasant for your child when he has an accident. Take him to the potty and let him sit there until he goes. This usually takes a long time the first time, but after he does it once and you make a big deal out of it, he understands what he is suppose to do. You said your boy already knows, so that is good.
When you know it's been a while since he went, take him to the potty and let him set there till he goes again. His reward, along with a cookie or something, is getting to get off the potty and go play!! This may sound mean, but it only takes a few days of this and then you are both better off.
Also, it is a lot of hard work to get those wet pants off, let him do that himself--just like you would do if you had an accident(surely you wouldn't expect someone else to do it, if you were not completely incapacitated, would you?) He can do it himself and it will help motivate him to keep those pants dry!
Happy training