Sons Interest in Exploring

J.,
I certainly understand your anxiety about this and at five years old your son definitely needs to understand that he should never let someone else touch him when it feels wrong. Obviously mommy, daddy, and maybe the doctor when mommy is there might be ok. And he should FEEL that those situations are ok. But, I think this is normal for children to be curious and to want to touch. It might make us uncomfortable because our culture has told us this is wrong but children don't have that cultural understanding yet so they go with their feelings. My advice is to be open (talk to him just like you were explaining airplanes or something else benign) in talking to him and have your husband talk to him too - about penises, what they are for (peeing not sex!), and how different they can look. It might feel like an uncomfortable conversation to you but this is just another learning experience for your son. Don't simply tell him no and make it taboo. He will still have questions and go to others to find answers. TAboo subjects are always more interesting and you want him to kind of lose interest here. Don't know if any of that helps but don't beat yourself up. Other mommies have dealt with the same thing and you are doing the best you can for him. Good luck, M.

I would go see a professional, maybe psycologist, or psychiatrist. better safe than sorry in case there is more going on, three different incidences with three different boys might be cause for alarm. How many other parents are having these issues at this school?
Why is no one watching five year olds? Shouldn't there be a teacher in the area when someone is pulling their pants down?
I am not being critical of you or your son I am more critical of the school at this point.

I would like to know people's responses because this also bothers me. I think it's just exploration of his body but I think you should take him to the school psychologist. When I was little, I was being sexually touched by other little girls in my ballet class and my mother was right there but wouldn't do anything. That bothered me and traumatized me for the rest of my life. I think you are doing well in talking to the teachers and talking to him about what is right and wrong. If he still keeps doing it, it is never your fault.

Hi J.,
When children are in school it's really hard to control what is influenced upon your child. I'm with you. I don't agree with this at all. Sounds like one of those kids at school, or several has been taught, or is thinking it's ok. I know children go through a phase with how their body looks etc., but you're right...this isn't right. This is invasion of your son's dignity, not to mention an indirect invasion of you as a parent. Is there a way you can contact the school board and bring this up? May be they can plan for the teachers to get together for an assembly for the children, and have them teach/insist that this is not appropriate behavior. Or you can contact a psychiatrist/psychologist and get their opinion about how to approach the subject and nip it in the bud. It's one thing for your child to be curious about his body at home in private, and another thing when other children are involved in exploring your son's body and vice versa. Keep insisting that his school does something about this inappropriate behavior. Be persistant, because I'm with you..it's not ok. Let me know how it goes. I wish I had more advice/suggestions for you. Best wishes,G.

I don't know alot about this so I may be way out in left field here, but maybe your son is doing this because an adult has done it to him? It's worth questioning in this day and age.
R.