My 22 month old son won't sleep in his own room. He has had difficulty sleeping through night since the day we brought him home from the hospital. He has always slept in his own room without complaint before last week he learned how to climb out of his crib. We have kept him on a routine sleep schedule (at night and at naps) to help with him sleeping throuh the night. We have a turtle night light that shines stars on the ceiling and turns off 15 mins later and we leave the door cracked - just as we always have. Since he learned to climb out of his crib and won't stay in it we had no choice but to lower the side rail into a toddler bed style. Now when we do his night routine or nap routine he won't stay in his bed or his room. He gets up and continues to come into our room and wants us to sleep with him. If we shut the door it is constant screaming/crying and not something I want to do to him. If we put a gate at his door he climbs over it. He always has had trouble sleeping so I don't want to start the bad habit of him needing to sleep with us because he has never needed it before and I have a 5 month old sleeping in the bassinet next to me already! Help!
Put the new baby in the room with him and he will not feel so alone. He may be feeling a little left out.
M. W
Get a crib tent to put on his crib. It zips open from the outside so you can open it but he can't.
I first tried to move my daughter to a toddler bed around 28 months because she would climb INTO it to get toys during the day but could not get out. We had to go back to the crib and tent for awhile because she would not stay in her toddler bed (her crib with one side off). The second time we tried it worked great.
My oldest daughter was like that.. No naps durring the day and at night she fell asleep in our bed we changed it and let her go to sleep on the couch then put her in her room.. When she woke @ night all we did was wait for her to go to sleep and put her back in her bed... Also the bed might be to big or too small..we had to put stuffed animls in her bed with her and it helped...
This is NORMAL behavior for a 22 month old. And if you've been getting better/more sleep from him previous to this, consider yourself lucky. What do you call "sleeping thru the night'? STTN is only a 5-6 hour stretch. And it's very common for toddlers, even preschoolers, to wake often and need help getting back to sleep. Maybe his bedtime needs to be adjusted, maybe he's not sleepy enough at this bedtime. I'm against scheduled sleeping (routines, however, area great) and very against 'crying it out' so my advice is to just wait it out. It's probably just a phase. And hopefully a phase that won't last very long. In my opinion, parenting does not end at bedtime, so if he needs parenting, to fall asleep or in the middle of the night, I'd do it. The problem for you is that you are also caring for an infant. So this means even more nighttime parenting. Maybe hubby can take on the nighttime parenting for your toddler since I'm sure the baby consumes most of your time. Here are some links you may find helpful. At the very least, reading these will let you know your toddler is normal.
How Much Sleep?
http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T071100.asp#T071121
Getting Preschoolers to sleep in own bed
http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T071100.asp#T071115
Midnight Visitor
http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T071100.asp#T071114
Cosleeping: Yes, No, Sometimes?
http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp
I think persistence is going to be the key here. Sometimes with major changes like this it will take weeks, but eventually he should get the idea if you return him to his bed over and over and over each night. Good luck!
I agree with the post that it may be some sibling rivalry. Are you comfortable with moving the bassinet yet? Maybe they could even share a room for a while. He may be comforted to have his brother in his room with him, and he won't be jealous that the baby is sleeping with mom and dad. I have a friend who used a crib tent with her daughter, and it worked well for her. Good luck to you and your little ones! :)
You will get many good responses on this one as I did a few months ago!! You have to be consistent in taking him back to his bed every time he gets out. The first time tell him it's bedtime and give him one more kiss, then leave. After that no talking and just keep putting him back to bed. Talking to him about it during the day will help prepare him for it as well. Tell him that he's a big boy and all big kids sleep in there own beds. Also, let him know that when he was a baby he slept in your room like the new baby and eventually the new baby will sleep in his own room too. Explain to him that he's going to have to teach his little brother how to be a big boy someday. Getting my daughter to stay in her bed after cosleeping was extremely difficult, but we were consistent and after a couple of exhausting weeks, she finally got it.
Good luck and don't give up!!
I think you shouldn't start letting your son sleep with you. Maybe you could put the bassinet outside your door and that way your son won't feel left out. Also, maybe the turtle light showing stars scares him. I hope I have helped you some.
I've done "Walk-in / Walk-out" (www.babywhisperer.com, check out the message boards!!!!) with my 28 month old for the past few months and its been great!! She's been in a twin bed since she was 19-mo (at first just a mattress on the floor), but until recently we (were crazy parents and) stayed in the room until she fell asleep. She used to be a terrible sleeper (waking 3-5x a night her first year or longer). Using this technique and giving her more activity during the day has really helped her to go to sleep unassisted all the time and sleep through the night much more often. I do tend to be inconsistent with night wake ups (like this morning at 5am I gave in and cuddled in her bed with her), so she is still coming to our room when she wakes at night, but that's the next thing for me to tackle this weekend. :)
Pretty much, before doing your nap/bedtime routine with him, explain to him that he's a big boy now, so he needs to stay in his bed and go to sleep all by himself. If he gets out, you'll pick him up and put him back in and no hugs or kisses. However, if he stays in bed and says, "mama, hugs!" or whatever you'd like him to say, you'll come and give him kisses. Do his regular routine, tell him to do a good job staying in bed, and to say "mama, hugs please!" if he wants hugs from you. Then, walk right out that door and leave it cracked as you said you do.
The moment he calls for you properly (ignore crying/fussing, hard as it may be, he needs to learn to calm down by himself--Oh, and my girl also has to be laying down in bed in order to get hugs. Otherwise she's standing up, keeping herself awake.), go in *happily* and give him a hug/kiss and praise him for staying in bed and walk out again. The moment he gets out of his bed, GENTLY pick him up and put him back in and walk out--DO NOT show any emotion whatsoever and DO NOT even make eye contact with him. (My girl lays herself on the ground when I come to put her back in bed, but I look at the carpet, not at her when I'm getting her.) Attention encourages the current behavior--even negative attention--and the point of this is to give him plenty of (quiet, since it's bedtime) positive attention for doing what you ask and to give him as little attention as possible when he disobeys but still correct the negative behavior. (It's probably okay to remind him what's going on with this new change, but use as simple of language as you can and be as brief as you can. ex: "John in bed, yes kisses; John out of bed, no kisses." "Lay down and ask for hugs." Be very calm, even if it's the 50th time!)
It does take some time to sleep-train, but it's so worth it in the end! I'd pick a Fri/Th night to start it and trade off with your hubby so you don't get worn out. He may fight it terribly at first (meaning you'll put him back in bed 20-50+ times and go in for hugs 20+ times), but after a few days you shouldn't see him getting out of bed more than like five times. It'll just get better from there if you can keep his bedtimes and routine constant like it sounds you have been doing. (Unfortunately, that's my weakness, so there are days we're back to putting her in bed 3-5 times and hugs 5-10 times.) I think when I'm consistent, she usually calls for hugs like 3-4 times when I first put her down, then she'll be quiet for a while, call for hugs 2 more times, and then fall asleep. Last night she did go down after those initial hugs. We were terrible with bedtimes and naps last week, so we're getting back on track this week.
Op, my girl's awake! Send me a message if you have any ?s. :) Good luck, whatever you decide to do!!!
Good luck! I have had the same problem with all 3 of mine. If you can do it, try some of 'Nanny Joe's' tricks from super nanny. Myself, I can't do it, if my child is criing I HAVE to comfort them. My kids are 15, 12 and 4. Of course the 15 and 12 year old are fine, but the 4 year old is still climbing in bed with us. Usually til around 5 or 6 years old mine have done this. I think it is just how you want to raise your kids. And yes you will get more sleep when they stay in their bed. I figure I only have a year or 2 more of having a kid in the bed.
Good luck and sleep well.
A.
I know you don't want to but I think he needs to cry it out, especially if you are dealing with a new baby in your room and already not getting a lot of sleep.
When he comes into your room, pick him up cuddle him for a little bit and take him back to his room. Lay him down and tell him it is time to sleep. He may also be feeling like he is not the baby anymore. Keep with the routine and he will get through this and so will you!
Could part of it be sibling rivalry showing it's ugly head? I agree that I would not start letting him sleep with you. Maybe he has insecurities about baby brother being in there and is trying to get more attention from mom. Try special new bedtime things for him to give him a little extra attention and see if it helps. Maybe a story time right before bed, or a favorite small snack with mommy and a short play session with undivided attention going to him. It is easy with a demanding 5 mo. old to make the big boy feel neglected. It could just be emotional issues from trying to adjust to some friendly competition. Kids are very sensitive to where they fit in from an early age. Confusion tends to happen over small things. Possibly your little man just needs some reassurance that he is still important too. I can't sleep when something is bothering me either. This may be his way of portraying that frustration to you since you are his comforter. A little extra love can go a long way! I hope that is all it is, and that this helps.
my youngest won't stay in her own bed no matter what I do, but what worked for my oldest was going shopping for a new big girl bed...we agreed we would only buy the one SHE wanted if she promised to sleep in it every night, it worked like a charm, unfortunatly it didn't work with my youngest who is 4 and still comes into my bed almost every night...I'm trying some other tricks that were suggested to me....go check out my post its called "I need help with bedtime blues" or something like that :) and look at all the fabulous responses I got, there are a ton of tricks there that might help you...
Good luck
Lets hope we get a good nights sleep soon :)
E.
