Son Throwing Fit When I Leave Him a Daycare

Wow! I don't know but my first hunch would be to trust the fact that your child REALLY doesn't like it there - as in - does he continue to scream and cry throughout the day? What are the teachers doing to ease the leaving time? If he is really acting up then you might want to look into a different solution. The other thought is - he is 5, old enough to talk and tell you (some) of what he is thinking. He is at an age when you should be able to reason with him somewhat. I would try to find out what is at the root of this 1st with him and then, also, speak with the teachers and see what suggestions they might have. If they are lacking in creative ideas, again, look for a different place.

I had this problem with my boys when I went back to work. They threw fits for two weeks, and I was done. I still don't know what the problem was, but I got the hint that they were not happy and that something was wrong...
I moved them to a new sitter, and all has been fine for over a year now.
He is old enough to let you know what is bothering him, what is wrong, why he don't want to go and stay like the other children!!!???

My heart could not take the fits for very long, bless you for having the patience. I firmly believe there is a real reason why he is not happy at the daycare, and I would explore it further...could be a teacher, another child, their routine or someone may be mean to him, you won't know with out attempting to find out!!!

Good Luck,
C.

HI A.. I agree with MI. I have gone through the same thing with my daughter and I still do when she doesn't want to leave my side. Sometimes she just wants to be with me and will be having fun with in a minute of me leaving her. Other times (like at Sunday School) she doesn't want to go b.c she thinks some of the kids are mean and the one adult scares her and at times like that she will stop crying and screaming BUT she will not have a lick of fun. She will sit with her head down and not participate or even pay attention to what is going on. I would talk to the teachers and see how long it takes your little one to calm down and start having fun. IF it takes him a few minutes I would say he is seeking attention. If it takes him half the day or even an hour, I would be worried. One thing to do it to go to DC with him. Go an extra hour early and sit and play with him and then just 'sneak' out. I have been there and done that lots of times with my 4 y.o, sometimes she would catch me and I couldn't leave yet, but it made things easier on both of us. Best of Luck and Congrats on getting back to school.

Have you talked with the staff to find out more? Oftentime children will have a complete meltdown at drop off time, only to be smiling, playing, and laughing within minutes of entering the center. Check with the staff to see how his behavior is after you leave. Maybe this is the case, but if not then talking with the staff could uncover more about why he is so distraught.

I have a son in daycare, and although he is quite a bit younger (9 months), we have always adhered to the suggestions offered by the staff - make the goodbye consistent and short. Do the same thing everytime - give a hug and a kiss with a goodbye and a promise that you'll return at the end of the day - then leave. Do not linger, and do not be sad or emotional. Seeing mommy upset will only make them more upset.

Talk with the center to find out more, but if he is fine within 5-10 minutes of you leaving, then switch your goodbye routine to one that is short and sweet but the same every time.

My son (now almost 8) was the same way when he was in daycare. It may sound cruel but the best solution we found was for me to walk him into his classroom, get him settled (say goodbye and what not) and then leave. He would scream and cry and run at the closed door after I had left but I had to keep walking. The girls were great and would then take him aside and distract him with an activity. Usually within 5-10 minutes he had forgotten his heartache and was off playing with toys. I tried everything you've tried and this was the only thing that seemed to limit the fallout.

Hi A.! I babysat over the summer and had a child that did the same thing for almost 4 months. She would just cry for at least 2 hours every time her mom dropped her off. I felt bad and there really wasnt anything I could do until she got used to things, and realized that her mom would be back every single day to get her! I hope that you find some relief soon!