? Son Struggling in School?

I held back my son 1 year before putting him in Kindergarten so that he would be ready to learn. I don't know if that's an option in 1st grade. Maybe holding him back 1 year.He was very active and wouldn't focus either. I'm so glad I did, though because school was a lot easier for him than it was for me. (he's now 19 and graduated high school).

You might consider if he has dyslexia also... I suspect my eldest of having this... has trouble reading, excellent at memorization, good at most other subjects... Just a thought in case the tubes and glasses don't work. :)
Blessings!

Hi S.! I think you have some received some really excellent advice. Following up with the pediatrician seems like a good place to start. I would also request from the teacher some very specific information about which skills are firmly in place and which skills need work. Ask her to be direct and to not sugar coat.

I'm a first and second grade teacher (taking a few years off to be home) and I feel that a first grader should usually end the year knowing all of their letters and sounds easily and be able to read first grade material easily. That said, I'm not necessarily panicked if a child is not reading- so long as he or she has made steady progress throughout the year. Has your son shown steady growth throughout the year? If not, I would be concerned. Request a team meeting with the teacher, specialist, and bring along someone you trust (2 sets of ears are better than one- do you know a retired school teacher or a friend who is good at asking questions?). Get the ball rolling for testing now- it takes a lot of time to get these things going and he probably won't be tested before the year is over- but it will be scheduled for fall at least.

If he has shown steady progress throughout the year, then that's good. Read read read this summer, and do the other things people have suggested on this site. I would also suggest this book: Making Sense of Phonics by Isabel Beck. I used it with a group of second graders who were reading at Kindergarten and first grade levels even though they were almost done with second grade. After 3 weeks, they had made 6 months of progress. No kidding. I know you're busy, but if you could take 20 minutes three days a week, you will see progress. If you get the book and have questions, please contact me. This book is amazing.

In the fall, he should be monitored every 2-3 weeks for progress. If two months go by and he hasn't made progress, then that is the time to request testing for a learning disability.

Good luck- and please let me know if I can offer any other help.

There I went and blathered on and on again. Sorry.

J.

One suggestion I have is to build his self esteem up. Let him know what he is good at all the time. Try cooking - measuring, tools - hammering/measuring nails apart, Planting a flower and watching it grow...he needs to start to win once in a while to know he is smart. Let him know EVERYDAY he is the possibility of being: Loveable,Likeable,Smart,Funny,Compasionate and that is who he is. If he doesn't believe it...he will never be any of these qualities.
EM

Hi S.,
My daughter struggles in Math. We do have access to Sylvan but its so expensive. We called the counselor at our local high schools. She sent us a list of honor students who where interested in tutoring. We found a wonderful girl who is a precalculous honor student who comes to our house twice a week for an hour after school and tutors our daughter for $10.00 an hour. They have bonded very well and shes brought her grades up. She helps her with not only math but any homework she has. Then after they finish the homework they play multiplication games, read, go over the vocabulary of the week etc. I highly recommend calling your high school near by.

Good for you for wanting better for your kids! How rural are you talking? Is there anything available through the school? Like testing for other issues? I think your school should provide you with some information, what if you went to the principal, or a counselor on staff and mentioned your concerns? It does sound like he'll need some further help, so don't give up now, keep encouraging him to learn with you, and maybe talk with hubby about flashcards when hubby IS home? I think you're already doing great, taking care of 3 and being alone a good deal of the time.
Take care, and don't forget to post a what happened when your little guy starts improving!
A.

I have two boys that are both 8 and in second grade this year. Some of this is normal, it just depends on the child. Is it normal for him to rush through other things he is asked to do? Chores and things like that? One of my boys is ADD, but he's also a perfectionist... he takes forever partly because he doesn't focus well, but also because even when he is totally focused, he wants to make sure it is perfect. He has had the best hand writing in his class since he started school. However, my other son doesn't care what things look like or if he gets them right... he just wants the work done and turned in so he can move on to something else. What I have found out, is that it's simply a matter of priority. He doesn't care if he knows how to read the next level of books, or if he passes the timed math test... pushing himself is not a concept he has adapted to yet.
Where do you live? I am also in a smaller community so I know those struggles, but I also know that they can offer more in other ways. A few things that we did were... summer school, which was 1 month towards the end of the summer. Summer library programs which offered a lot of hands on as well as working on their reading. Reading to them at night... we started making them read on their own at night (15 min.) this year and they have jumped an entire grade level in reading rather than being behind as they were prior to starting it. You might also look into what places offer day camps, etc. during the summer that have to do with math, science, etc. A lot of the summer programs mix the learning up with playing so much that the kids don't even realize what they're doing.
The most important thing I have found, is making it fun for them. My boys love for me to throw out cards on the floor with their spelling words on them and then tell them which word to jump on... they're the frog jumping on lilly pads.
And one last thing... don't push too much. Remember what you struggled through and try to imagine how you felt. Make it fun for him rather than "you HAVE to learn this".

Hello S.~
Our youngest son was struggling too! We spoke with his teacher in kindergarten about it, while he did ok there we were still leary. He started first grade doing alright not perfect, spoke with his teacher and we collectively thought we should consider that maybe he has some learning disabilities that none of see. We are in the process of starting this testing. I would recommend that maybe you consider this too. If he is struggling it might be worth it so that he can get the right help for his education and to be successful in life.
My younger brother has a learning disability only after many years of struggling in elementary school, then he got the help he needed and is now quite successful.

Hope this advice helps and Good Luck

A.

I'm wondering, after reading that your husband is gone a lot, is your son's school teacher a man or woman? Most of the time, especially with boys' it's not the school work. They need the male role model around. I was worried about how my son would do in Kindergarten because he was home with me before starting to go to school. He ended up having a male teacher and he did great in his class. Now that he is in first grade he has a female teacher, she's a good teacher, but a couple months back he was starting to try and slack off on his work. Since my husband has been trying to do more with him now it seems to help. GL
K.

S.,

I live in a small town too and I had a child with some of these same problems. It turned out he had dyslexia. This is a learning disability, but there are ways to work with it. They can learn to cope. However, the schools do not get funded for this type of disability. That is why they will continue to push him through. What you need is some help.

Remember that every child has the right to an education. You need to be an advocate for your child. There are things you can do to help with the process. The first thing I would do is contact the Learning Disabilities Association for your state. You can look that up on-line. They can help you find organizations that may be able to diagnose your son's problems.

Do not give up. Remember if the school does not get money for it, they will try to get him out as soon as they can. Most schools are not interested in the kids learning, they just want them to be good kids and sit at their desks.

Now, this may not be the problem. But, you need to look, eliminate, and narrow down what the problems are. Do not let doctors medicate him and slow him down. He may just be bored in class and be at a higher level than the class, too.

I hope that you look into this further and find great success.

M.

Hi S., I have a 7 year old boy too. He will be 8 in july and is in second grade. Right now he is seeing some doctors and a therapist for possible asperger's disorder. I know that sounds scary (but it would be very mild if anything, and it is so low that it just causes some social difficulties...go figure, my son lacks social graces and they have a name for it!) Originally we thought he had ADHD.

Anyway, I would take your son to see the pediatrician. Often times learning disorders and other things are hereditary. There may be a deeper reason that your husband only made it to tenth grade. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. Just be proud of your son, compliment him and his accomplishments, no matter how small. And start doing some research. Be glad you cought this nice and early so that he may have a better chance of getting the help he may need.

Also, get his eyes checked to rule out vision problems and the same goes for a hearing test.

One more tip, check his sleeping habits. Does he sleep all through the night? Does he have trouble falling asleep? Does he snore? Sometimes fatigued children present as possible ADHD, and I am sure that being tired could contribute to his lack of desire in class.

I know that was alot of info, but please email me if you have any questions at all. I have been going through this for 3 years now, since kindergarten. ____@____.com

R.

Well, some kids have learning disabilites... that came be like ADHD, or ADD, and a variety of other things that do not allow them to focus for long periods of time. I know I was ADHD and I could not do my school work when I was in school if my life depended on it. I also learned well with working with my hands, which comes with add and adhd, and most schools and classes are lecture/notes/bookwork type classes, so I could not excel due to that. You could always tell what classes were hands on tho, because I would have A's in them. I would consider talking to a specialist about it, or his doctor. They may be able to help figure out if he has any variety of problems that lead to lack of focus. In some cases kids who are tone def, also have a hard time hearing their teachers based on the volume and pitch of their voice.
Studies have also show that children who didnt learn how to crawl and went straight to walking will have troubles in school. Some simple activities around the house can help him with problem solving. Such as building blocks.
At home, the best thing to do with him, is make learning fun. If you have to make up Math songs, or art projects to incorperate history. Sometimes the more creative they are, the better they learn. When you can get them excited to learn... then it will be easier to get them engaged in class.
Good luck and let me know if there is anything else I can do to help! Take care
~H.

Somethings may be inherited, but you have to hang in there with what you're doing. Don't give up with the nightly reading and math or what ever else he is having trouble with. If the school has a councelor, you may ask him/her for suggestions. Over the summer, I'd try to continue with keeping him up on the things that trouble him. He maybe ADHD which makes it hard for them to concentrate. Ask your doctor/school about if that could be an issue for him. You could try star charts where he would get rewarded for accomplishing certain things.
Or if he has special shows in the evening that he likes to watch/games(ps2) that until these things are done,no rewards of this freedom. Hang in there, it is certainly worth the effort.

I promise- S.- with such great parents - working hard to help and support and make good things happen-- they WILL happen - be sure he knows that school was tough for you, too- and that you want it to be more fun for him than it was for you or Dad -- that will help him SOOOO much. I'm a retired special ed preschool teacher - mom, grandmom- and love school - but have seen school not work for some children and that makes me so sad. I would encourage you to put a limit on how much time each night you have him working --- say--- an hour --that's a LOT for a 7 year old -- he needs down time --- just a suggestion---

Blessings-
J. - aka-- Old Mom

www.readinga-z.com
I absolutely love it! I used it at home and in my classroom! mj

Hi
Sounds like some of the same challenges we have had with our 7.5 year old in 2nd grade. She is still at 12 in reading and most 1st graders last year finished at 18+. We have discovered that she has both visually and auditory processing challenges. There is someone in Vancouver, Wa that can help with the auditory part. I went to a lecture on dyslexia and learned that hocked on phonics may not work if they can't hear certain sounds. Over 20% of pop. have some form of dyslexia and it's past on from a parent. The school said her hearing was fine and outside testing shows she needs help and her reading is inproving with the auditory excersises she is doing. Dr. Steven G. Curtis just wrote a new book called, UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHILD'S PUZZLING BEHAVIOR;A GUIDE FOR PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH BEHAVIORAL, SOCIAL AND LEARNING CHALLENGES. He will be giving a workshop at the Red Lion-Janzen Beach in Portland,Or April 11 from 1-4:30, and it's only $25. check it out at www.lifespan.com Wishing you the best.

My daughter who's in first grade also likes to chat with friends, and rush to do her work. I'm constantly telling her to stay on task and to do her best work. When she tries to turn something in that is sloppy, I ask her "Is this your best work?" She will usually respond with a "no", because they know what they are capable of. Also, is it possible that there are ADD or dyslexia issues? It might be worth looking into. I make my kids read for 1/2 hour per night and they hate it, but I think it's important for them to constantly be practicing their reading. I'm sure the summer school will help. Hang in there. I would rule out any medical issues, and then go sraight to the pricipal and say "Hey, my child is not learning the proper things to move on to the next grade level, what's going to be done here?" Good luck.

Hello, my daughter is in first grade and her teacher told me earlier this year that she was also not focusing on her work, and preferred to chat with friends. Since, we have worked really hard at home on getting her to focus on whatever task she is working on whether it be homework or eating dinner. This has helped a lot. Also, check out the curriculum at your school because our school does this new math program, for example, where they jump around a lot, but then come back to the same things different times throughout the year. Because of this, if my daughter really wasnt paying attention for say two days in a row, she didn't really learn that section... so she thinks its new when it comes back around.

I firmly believe that when a parent is involved in their child's classroom, the child will appreciate school and know how important it is to the parent. My daughter's teachers also say that the students that have parents that volunteer are typically more excelled. I know in some cases helping out in school is not an option for a parent. If that's the case, stay in close contact with the teacher. Call or email if you can. I work full time, but I still volunteer 2 hours every two weeks in my daughter's class. I'm able to flex my time at work to do this. My daughter loves that I'm there and I'm able to see how well she is doing or where she needs help. Hopefully you can get help with your little one so you can do this. My neighbor trades off with another parent in her daughter's class. They both have babies and they take turns babysitting so the other can volunteer. Check with the teacher to see if any other parent is looking for that opportunity. You'll feel better and your son's teacher will really appreciate your help. Good luck!