Help!!!! The other night my 4 year old son was sleeping in my bed because he was sick. We were trying to go to sleep and he kept moving around and had his hands in his underwear. I asked what he was doing and he said, “Trying to get my tee-tee to stand up.” I asked why and he said, “Because I like it.” Well… I wasn’t sure what to say and for lack of anything else, just told him to stop that it was time to go to sleep.
I know that self exploration is normal, but… I also don’t want him to do this all the time. I’ve passed the issue on to my hubby but he hasn’t said anything yet.
Does anyone have any suggestions on what to say? I don’t want him to be ashamed of his body, but I didn’t think he would be enjoying it this soon either!
Thanks in advance for any and all info!
I have 4 year old twin boys & one of my twins plays with himself alot! I don't want him to freak out about it either but he needs to know that that isn't something you do in front of other people.
I didn't stop my son or make him feel bad about touching himself. I just directed him to his room and told him that it is something he should do privately in his room or the bathroom or at bedtime(if he sleeps in his own bed). It is completely normal and healthy for him to explore his body and be open and honest with him if he has questions.
I think this may just be a stage they go thru, my daughter did this too when she was about 3. You may just want to make sure he understands that this is a private thing not to be done in public, but try not to make him feel ashamed or embarassed. Hope that helps!
that's totally normal. My 3 year old son does that. we're trying to teach him that it's good manners to only do it in your room.
many years go, I coached a team of 4-5 year old boys and they ALWAYS had their hands down their pants.
Okay, so I had to laugh b/c about 2 months ago I went through the same thing with my 4year old daughter. She constantly had her hands in her pants and it was really bugging me. I know self-exploration is normal but still!! So I finally asked her why she kept putting her hands down her pants and she said "b/c it feels good". So I acknowledged that yes, it does feel good but that's something we do in private. So if she needs to do that she needs to go to her room and close the door. Then, of course my hubby throws in "and make sure you wash your hands!!" We haven't had any problems since then. I was very casual about the whole thing b/c I don't want her to feel like she's doing something wrong or "dirty". And I also want to lay the foundation for a home with very open communication so that when she gets older she'll come to me with questions.
I have a 4 yr old son as well. He does the same thing when in bed. When he started "investigating" I would calmly tell him to stop - no discipline, no raised voice, no look of surprise or disgust. He generally only did it while watching tv, etc. I finally told him that he could only do that in his bed because it was not good manners to do it in front of other people. We talk about good manners a lot in our house, you might have to use some other discription that he will understand as mentioned in other posts. I also had dh talk with him - but I don't know what he said. It is all part of being a little boy and having a son. :) I just recently had to have a similar discussion with my almost three year old.
L.
I tell my 6 year old that it is ok for him to do, but not around other people. He should do that in his room when he is by himself. If I see him holding himself or his hand is in his pants, I just ask him if he needs to go potty. He usually pulls his hands away and says no. This lets him know I see him, without my mind having to think about where that behavior leads. I know it is natural, and they have to grow up some time, but I am soooo not ready to think my kids have any sort of sex like. Oh the joys of having sons!
