After speaking with my son's ( 4 years old) preschool teacher she told me that he was doing fine. However, she has some issues that she quite can't "put her finger on." First, she stated that my son really has to work on his fine motor skills. He is having a hard time cutting out shapes. He also asks for help putting on his coat when it's time to go home. I suppose that this is my fault with the coat because I just put on his coat everyday. I want to make sure it properly fastened up so he will be warm. she also stated that he really gets distracted if she is not constantly on him and guiding him telling him what to do. For example, she stated that when it's time to color or draw ( my son's least favorite thing) that he becomes distracted and he may start playing with his crayon, make believing its a space ship, or making car sounds with it. Then she tells him that we are colorIing right now and his response is okay I'll do it. He will do a little coloring then if she does not stand over him and tell him to keep coloring, he soon will become distracted again and continue playing with a crayon or pencil like it's a car. Also, she says he does not get the concept that everyone must raise their hand in the classroom to get her attention or that you don't talk when she is talking or you don't talk over someone else. She says he will keep talking and won't take turns talking in a conversation type of exchange.
I know that my son is very sociable and loves to play. But he is not interested in setting and doing any type of classroom stuff. He would rather horseplay or wrestle with the other boys (he and his brother does this constantly at home). He loves to jump and climb on things. He also loves the computer. She says he knows letters and the small reading that they do in class but at times he is just not focused at all.
I feel sort of bad because maybe I'm not doing a very good job at getting him to be self sufficient and doing things for himself. Also, we are always in a hurry and he is so slow when it comes to getting dressed, eating, or putting on his coat that I feel that I can do it faster. Maybe this has hurt his fine motor skills?
Please any advice?
He`s 4! That`s it...They told me the same thing about both my boys and they are great in school now!(1st and 4th grade) Do NOT let anyone worry you! I put bot my boys in 2 years of pre school because it is harder for boys(I was told and finding out I did the right thing by doing that) They are great in school and "get" things pretty easy now.
Good luck!
To build up his fine motor skills and also build up his attention span.. here are some suggestions..
Get a box of large paper clips.. Show him and then ask him to make them into one long chain.. Another week ask him to make another chain out of a box of small paperclips.. You can hang these in his room and let him attach his pictures (those crayon drawings) on the chains..
Get playdo and see how many little balls he can roll with just his first finger and thumb.. Have him try this with each hand.. also have him try it with each hand at the same time..
Have him place all of the little playdo balls in a long line and ask him to punch them down as fast as he can with just his first finger.. Then another time have him do this with his thumb.. another time his middle finger.. Keep a "Time" record to see which finger on each hand was the fastest.
Give him clothes pins (one for each hand) and have him only use his thumb and first finger, to pick different things up.. Have races with him and see which one of you can pick up the biggest (I did not say heaviest) thing with just 1 clothes pin using the first finger and thumb.. Have him sort the clothes from the laundry baskets by color, but only using the clothes pins.
Each time you do laundry, have him place the shirts and tops on hangers. Have him button all of the buttons on the clothes.
Have him separate all of the coins out of all of the piggy banks or jars of coins you have around the house. Another time have him make them into stacks of 10 of each coin..
Have him separate a jar of buttons by size.. Then another time by colors..
Get a giant piece of blank paper.. the back of wrapping paper will even work.. Have him draw the longest line. the wiggliest line.. the biggest circle.. Have him do this using different colors.
One he has about 6 different lines.. ask him to get some of his little toy cars and "drive them" only using his first finger, then thumb, on each hand. on these lines he has drawn on the big paper.. Make it a game and see if he can keep his finger on the car the entire length of the line.. If he takes his finger off, say "Uh oh" start over and see if you can do the WHOLE line this time..
Purchase puzzles. Have him put them together.. Then when he has completed 2, have him mix the 2 puzzles and so both of them art the same time.. He could [probably do 3 puzzles at the same time..
When it is dry outside side walk chalk is also excellent and he can make highways out there and drive his toy cars even longer with his fingers..
Don't worry mom. I am sure the teacher meant to present these things as opportunities vs issues. Maybe she should have phrased it better, as in, "I think your son is ready to tackle some fine motor skills like cutting, snaps, and zippers."
Pre-school is EXACTLY the right time to work on this stuff and from what I have seen, full mastery doesn't come until grade school. Meaning, cutting and dressing themselves for outdoors is worked on in kindergarten. Neat printing in 1st-2nd grade. Cursive in 3rd-4th.
That said, goodness knows it IS sooooo much faster to do things yourself. Whoever came up with "If you want something done right, you should do it yourself" was dead-on but obviously had never had to raise/teach a child. So it just means, you are going to have to find a little more time in the mornings to at least let the kiddo have a go at his buttons and zippers.
Work with him on these skills at home, but please make it fun! Lots of kids develop their fine motor skills later (me included). First, work with him to fasten his own coat... it's kind of an expectation in Kindergarten b/c the teachers really don't have time to zip and button them all! I know that it's easier (and faster) to just do it for them, but it doesn't help them in the long run.
- string beads together to make necklaces as holiday gifts
- have him put coins in a piggy bank
- let him entertain himself for 10-15 minute periods with tabletop activities like puzzles, coloring, drawing or finger paints (no t.v., no "electronics", etc)
- get out the play-doh and let him roll it, form it, cut it whatever just get his hands moving!
- shaving cream on the bathroom walls and let him start making shapes
- make finger puppets and then use them to put on a play (old gloves and mittens are great for this)
Most of all, if you are really concerned have your child evaluated by an Occupational Therapist, but don't jump into that. I would strongly suggest seeing where he is at the start of Kindergarten (assuming that will be this September). Talk with his teacher at that time and let her know your concerns. Odds are very good that she will have some great activities for you to do at home with him and she will keep an eye on him as well, just in case!
**Most 4 yr olds have a hard time with self-directed tasks. Give him some activities at home that require focus and don't jump in to help right away! It's possible that he doesn't understand how to "try" and immediately seeks-out help when he's "stumped".
He is a 4 year old boy...all crayons turn into cars and airplanes eventually! He should be putting on his own coat...put it down in front of him neck towards him...put his arms in the sleeves...up and over his head, arms are in sleeves and the coat is on! He sounds normal to me. Maybe you could go observe the class. Do they have a one way window? No worries!
It is so hard because us moms take so personally (understandably) and regard so highly what a teacher says, but remember, YOU are the expert with your child.
My son went to preschool for two years. Rarely did he ever leave the large muscle area (big cars and trucks, slide, physical play) except when he 'had' to because now it was "craft time" and he had to complete his project. Fine motor things were not a strength area for him and neither was socialization secondary to speech articulation errors.
You have gotten great and fun suggestions to work on fine motor skills. I also encouraging 'cutting without a purpose'. By that I mean, cutting things to shreds, in strips, in small pieces, whatever HE wants to do. I also suggest using different strengths of paper to cut on - 3x5 cards are a little thicker as is heavier weight paper just to give a little resistance. Then you can take the small paper and maybe glue them onto a paper and make some type of mosaic design or confetti for New Years Eve! You can also use scissors with play-doh play to cut into small chunks.
There is also 'cutting with a purpose' and I understand that cutting out shapes is a developmental (check it off the list) skills, but this can happen sooner or later; when he is ready to work on this, I suggest providing one shape on a 1/4 size of paper for him to practice holding and turning it. So often, there are 4 shapes drawn on the paper and it is hard enough for our kiddos to cut, let alone keep turning the paper. He can also 'help you' cut the coupons out of the Sunday paper. But first, cut the 'whole page' down to a quarter of the size so all he has to focus on is the coupon.
And yes, he can start putting on his own, coat - no worries - it can be learned in a day. No kiddo goes to high school with his mom putting on and fastening his coat. You're doing a good job and are a great mom!
Sounds to me like your son is a typical preschooler. I use to teach preschool and some kids need a little more guidence than others. Is your son new to this classroom? It usually takes a child some time before settling into the routine of their classroom. As your childs teacher stated, there is a possibility that his fine motor skills may need some work, but that is nothing I would worry about. Continued practice of cutting, using a writing utensil, etc will help. Coloring isn't something that every child enjoys, so don't worry about that. Every child is different :) As for his coat.... again, nothing to worry about developmentally. I can understand that your sons teacher would prefer him to be able to put his coat on himself because it makes things easier for her. Practice with him at home. Let him put it on and once its on, you can make sure that he is bundled properly so he is warm. Like I said before, to me, it doens' t seem like anything is "wrong" with your child. A short attention span doesn't qualify as anything that is developmentally wrong. And as a mother, you have done nothing wrong either. Patience and guidence is very much needed when working with and/or raising children. Hope this helps! Best wishes! :)
How old is your son? First, you have done nothing to feel guitly for, kids develop self suficency inspite of mothering! You could not stop him from doing so if he wanted to, and could.
You have a very specific set of issues that raise a flag, and I would suggest that you may need to have him evaluated, but if he is very young, you might want to see if this is an unreasonable expectation for his age, especially if this is a broad grouping of ages, and he is the youngest. If you are certain that he is not doing what his aged peers can do, then consider starting with an evaluation with an occupational therapist. Be open to this being more than a motor skills issue, but it would not be out of the ordinary for a child with a weakness in fine motor to avoid doing fine motor activitys and then become board and distracted when school turns to these things.
Keep in mind that the blurting out, not undertanding convestaional reciprocity of turn taking, and other distractiblity are probably not explainable by a motor skills issue, so if OT does not explain everything, consider an evaluation with a Developmental Pediatrician in the future.
M.
I understand how you feel! My daughter is about to turn three next month and I feel like I need to work with her way more, but it's so hard when you work all day and she goes to bed two hours after you get home at night! I'm sure he is fine. You didn't mention how old he is, but he's a little kid. Kids get distracted. Maybe just have him work on stuff like coloring and cutting and things like that. Have him put buttons or jelly beans in a jar as practice, picking them up one at a time. Puzzles are good too.
Your son sounds absolutely normal. If they're not interested then they get bored and find something that will interest them (i.e. spaceship crayon.) I'm a bit surprised that the pre-school teacher was concerned by his behavior, perhaps she is inexperienced.
I applaud the teacher for addressing these issues with you! She is with your son in a classroom setting & is seeing things which concern her.... about his future. Kudos to her for taking the initiative in directing your attention to these issues!
None of these issues are actually critical. All of these issues can be resolved without much effort on your part. It's time to back off & allow your son to become self-sufficient! Let him learn basic self-care skills & you'll be amazed at how much he'll change....& for the better! Try to address each of her concerns at home by simply allowing your son to do for himself.
Encourage him to use the scissor, encourage him to dress himself. If you're speaking & he butts in, hold up your hand like a "stop sign" & teach him to wait his turn! In the evenings, spend some time sitting at the coffee table with him & color together. All of these methods are simple & non-invasive......& will go a long way in teaching him "how" to move on to the next level of development! Peace!
Okay... I think your son is just acting his age.
He is perhaps also not 'ready' for preschool....
Boys often mature later.... than girls.
My son... is like that. Nothing wrong with him.. but in my gut I just feel he is not ready for Preschool. My son is 4.
I home school him for now.
My son is really bright in many areas... but with normal everyday stuff... like your son.. he is not 100% in mastery of his fine motor skills...although he is very independent and very capable of the other 99% of things.
For example... my son does not yet write his name.
Anyway... just work with your son at home... kids need practice.
all the best,
Susan
B.,
maybe he is just not ready for preschool. Not all the kids are the same, and she should know that as a teacher. If I was you, I would just try to do some more stuff with him at home. But don't stress yourself out about it. Just try to work with him and allow him to do more stuff for himself. You could also ask for an evaluation and see if they think he needs occupational therapy. But if that is not an issue, then just let him be and try to encourage him to do things for himself more than the usual. Maybe on the weekends when he is home with you. Or even at home, helping you set the table, grab the laundry, cut coupons (even if you don't need them), color Christmas cards (even if you don't send all of them out), stuff like that, where he sees he is helping you too.
Blessings
he's new with the whole school thing, maybe start a reward system with him, on days he has good attention, he gets an extra piece of candy, or extra tv time or what ever will catch his attention.
it's not abnormal for preschooler's to not "focus" it's a new thing and they will catch on after a while
