Son Having Problems W/ Oral Fixation.

Updated on April 09, 2008
M.M. asks from Phoenix, AZ
20 answers

So, my sweet big boy (5 yrs old) has a MAJOR problem w/ oral fixation. He is trying very hard not to suck his thumb, BUT in doing so he is putting everything else in his mouth. It is so gross!!! He sucks on toys, blankets, clothing, furniture whatever happens to be around. The collars of his shirts, blankets, couch cusions are always drenched in spit. And he smells like spit all the time!
He is going to be in kindergarten next year and I don't want him to be made fun of OR aquire all sorts of sicknesses from having classroom stuff in his mouth all the time.
I can't put yucky thumb stuff on everything we own... and I can't just let him relinquish and keep sucking his thumb as it is already starting to affect his jaw and overbite severely. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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C.W.

answers from Provo on

Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I totally could have written this post myself. My son is five also and chews on everything, especially his shirts and it drives me crazy because they are all stretched out and gross. I am too worried about his starting kindergarten next year with this bad habit. I have started to take off his shirt and make him sit in time out when I see he is chewing on it. That has helped a little bit. But if you get any good ideas in responses, I'd be interested in learning about them. Is there a way to see responses? I am new to this. Good luck, you are not alone! I am totally with you on this and it sucks (no pun intended, okay maybe :)

C.

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S.B.

answers from Denver on

This might be an obvious reply. But have you just got on his case about not doing it? I think it's just the same as nose picking, its not very pleasant to see. My son constanly puts his fingers in his mouth and it only takes 1 time to tell him to quit. Just my advise, just tell him no.

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M.B.

answers from Grand Junction on

Hi there!

I haven't read any of the other responses to your question, so I'm not sure if you've found assistance already---if so, disregard my ramblings! I am a special education teacher, working with three to five year olds who have disabilities. In am NOT inferring that your child has a disability BY ANY MEANS, don't stress! I just thought I'd offer a bit of advice. My thoughts are also in regards to older toddlers (three to five years), not infants, as it is completely normal for infants to chew and suck on everything they come in contact with. Your child's chewing habit is hopefully a phase that will be short lived.

Your intervention should, of course, always be based on your child's abilities and needs. Always begin with the least intervention that you find effective. If simple reminders do the trick (without creating other adverse behaviors) then that is the best way to go.

A step up from that could be for you to have crunchy/chewy HEALTHY snacks readily available. When you first notice the "chewing" behavior, offer your child a carrot, celery, or pretzel, etc., and tell them to ask for one of these items instead of chewing/sucking on inappropriate items. Make your explanations and examples as literal as possible while keeping them as short as possible too.

Small children need lots of LITERAL explanations. We often assume they understand all vocabulary when they don't. For example, you may need to explain what "chewing" is. If they don't understand the main words in a direction, they can't possibly follow the direction.

If you need a more intensive intervention, then your goal is to "redirect" the behavior toward a more appropriate outlet. What I would recommend is giving him something that is readily available to chew on. Something attached to the body helps prevent thumb sucking or ruining clothing. We use a plastic tubing at school (like 1/4" or 1/2" thick). You can tie it into a necklace or bracelet. We also use wet washcloths to satisfy the chewing need.

Thumb sucking and pacifier use is detrimental to speech and language development. Not only is it harmful to the development of their gums and teeth, but children who always have something in their mouths don't get in enough "talking" practice and revert to grunting, pointing, and gesturing for things rather than verbalizing.

Good luck! I hope that was helpful in some way.

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R.S.

answers from Denver on

Hi,
My name is R.' and I can completely comprehend what your going through. My 12 yr. old has always done the same thing. He will even put screws and other things that were on the ground in his mouth. I found out that he has Sensory Integration. Having an oral fixation is very hard to control. I now have my son in Ocupational Therapy to help him stop. It teaches children other ways to deal with that paticular sensory or other sensories that may be a little off. If you talk to an O.T. they could tell you if it's that much of an issue or not. Hope this helps. Chewing on clothing is very normal for boys. I don't know many parents who have children that didn't at some point chew on things especially shirts. That's why I say taking your child to an O.T. would help. There is a normal range and a sensory range.

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K.M.

answers from Denver on

I sucked my thumb until I was six and ruined my mouth. . . I had to have braces for about 8 years. My dad finally had enough of me sucking my thumb and put a sock over each hand before I went to bed and put duct tape around the socks to hold them on. Worked like a charm. I would also look into why your son is so obsessed with sucking his thumb. I know that in my case my family was pretty dysfunctional and I was very affected by it. I'm not saying this is the case with your family but you may want to look and see what, if anything, may be causing him to look for comfort by sucking his thumb.

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N.R.

answers from Denver on

had the same problems with my kids - 2 thumb suckers & one who would put his fingers & shirt in mouth. Sandy Coulson is a miracle worker (was recommended by both pediatric dentist & orthodontist friend) ###-###-#### - literally after one visit they had stopped. YOu need to call her

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C.T.

answers from Provo on

This might not help, but I used to be a night time thumb sucker. By the time I was 6 my mom had 4 kids and me the oldest. I didn't get much of her time. My best friend sucked hers in school though. When someone made fun of her in Kindergarten, I hurt as though I was being ridiculed, too. That night I stuck my thumb in my fist and shoved it under my pillow and cried myself to sleep. I never sucked it again. I never noticed that my friend's teeth stuck out before that. I also later slept with teeth on my fists so my teeth would go back in place and wouldn't look like hers. I was still her friend until she moved.
Your son's oral fixation is a real problem. See if his doctor can help identify if there is another problem. Does he seem to do it at a particular time of the day or if the house is stressful or if he's been having an insecure moment (like playmates teasing him)? Watch and record the instances and the items and the tone of the house and of you(yes, it takes lots of time and stepping out of yourself) so you can be better informed on his conduct to consult with a doctor. Doctors love to have parents who have written things down so they can see a pattern if there is one. Do at least a week's worth before consultation. Sometimes, you can see the pattern and not the problem when you do this and can find a solution on your own.
Always remember to reward/praise positive behavoir. If he leaves the living room alone, what does he want as a reward? 1 day, 2 days, etc. It's like him setting his own punishment if he fails and you don't have to
Question is, is it more sanitary for him to use his thumb or just any item around the house? That could also be stressing him. All children are different and he needs to feel where his personal comfort zone is... until he's ready to give it up like I did.

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T.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

He'll grow out of it, there really nothing you can do cause if you try to punish him for doing it he will only suck his thumb in private which won't fix anything. I say let him suck on his shirt... but only his shirt. Nag at him for doing it on everything else. if he gets teased, it will probably help him to stop doing it. Teasing is always a learning proccess, and it happens to the best of us. My lil brother sucked on his shirt too. he'd have this huge puddle at his collar and all his shirts were stretched out where he would chew on them, theres nothing you can really do except let them grow out of it. I think he'll be okay tho, he's given up the thumb, he'll give the rest up too.

Maybe you could give him some gum... not sugary gum of course that won't help the teeth either. But figure a way to occupy his mouth, at least while he's at home so he won't spit up all your furniture...

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T.B.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My neice does this and we found out she has a cross bite and a jaw that locks. It helps both situations to feel better. Have you had him checked by the dentist? I sucked my thumb until I was 10 so I know how you feel at wanting him to stop... I did but didn't know how.

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D.S.

answers from Provo on

I am really not sure ... My sons all had pacifiers and they just kinda wore out . got lost and disappeared at about age three .. I know of a neice who would suck her thumb and she was nine and another who sucked her thumb at age seven and was teased at school. She still remembers it and is mortified to talk in front of others and is very self conscience as a result ... I do have some suggestions some proven to work other suggestions.....That just came to mind and well... NOT proven, just ideas ....

1.) I would give you my strongest proven to work tip .. I worked out a deal with my niece .. Like nose picking or thumb sucking you KNOW it is not socially acceptable but to draw more attention to the "act" is almost cruel .. I worked out a secret password for my sons when doing those socially unacceptable things.... I told my niece to give me a word HER word she chose "Ice cream." I told her if I saw her sucking her thumb I would say our pass word ... "I am in the mood for Ice cream! What about you susie ?" Immediately she would stop She was totally unaware what she was doing (Before) it was an unconscience thing soon she was thumb sucking free ... I
would maybe give your son some "acceptible" sucking things like a sugar free sucker or maybe sugar free gum little pcs ?? I dont know maybe that is wrong but It may keep him from sucking everything in sight and then when he is not chewing gum or sucking a sucker at cerasin times a day ... In between you may use the password .... If he does well you may use the others (Gum and Suckers as reward for the in between times ?) Just a thought I woul also tell him that he will be the only one in school that does this so you have a goal Maybe in school you can change pass word to a phrase . Your teacher can ask him What is you favorite color ? when this happens so the kids in class dont catch on and if they want they can also give their favorite color and It will spark something in him to stop sucking ?
Good Luck D

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E.H.

answers from Provo on

Does he seek out spicy foods or foods with a lot of texture as well? Maybe he has some hyposensitivity. I am a speech therapist and I would suggest having a speech or occupational therapist look at him in your area. You could also provide him with appropriate things to chew on, only at certain times when he is home. (you could look at a web site called talk tools). Also, maybe get him an electric toothbrush that he could use a few times a day.
Hope that helps a little.

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S.M.

answers from Denver on

I would contact an Occupational Therapist. My son has Sensory Integration Disorder and I use this little brush on my son every few hours to help him. It is sort of like a toothbrush, but has a totally round head. I don't know what they are called, but a therapist would know what you are looking for.

Before you contact a therapist you might want to check out www.sensory-processing- disorder.com. Under symptoms, you might check out hyposensitive and see if any of this relates to your son. Or Google oral sensitivity.

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D.W.

answers from Pocatello on

Hi M....my 21 year old daughter sucked her thumb until the fourth grade when she was 11 years-old. We tried everything with her to get her to stop, but nothing ever worked completely. We did get her to a point where she only sucked her thumb in her sleep. But that was a hard one to break, because it was a reflex that she did in her sleep. (Plus her real mom still sucks her thumb to this day....we got full custody of her and her brother when they were very young. So they lived with their dad and me.)

We have always had a great relationship, she calls me mom, and I don't use 'step' in front of daughter because to me she is my daughter. But, she always had a troubled relationship with her real mom. Anyway, it took her deciding that she didn't want to suck her thumb all her life like her mom did. Plus her dentist showed her an x-ray of her front teeth at a different angle and she could see how they were starting to stick straight out in front of her.

Honestly though, I haven't heard of anyone replacing their thumb with clothing or toys. I have seen kids sucking on their shirts though, since I used to work in a kindergarten center. Now I work in a High School and occasionally see it. I would take him to see your dentist first, then to a specialist recommended by your dentist. I'm sure they deal with this type of habit more than we can imagine. They should be able to help you deal with this quickly, and help you so you don't accidentally say something hurtful or harmful to the process.

I know that my daughter got teased horribly in school, so I wouldn't waste any time in seeing his dentist. I know they should be able to help you quickly.

Good luck!

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J.L.

answers from Denver on

I am 41 years old and sucked my thumb until I was 8. I only sucked it at night or when I was tired. I have not had any dental problems at all (not even a cavity). My 2 babies, ages 1 and 3 both suck their thumbs. I think they both will out grow it in their own time. I asked the pediatrician and she said it doesn't always cause dental problems. She also said when they start school they will be teased and will stop on their own. Not sure that will work, my 3 year old is in a ECE/Kindergarten with 3,4 and 5 year olds and there are several thumb suckers in her class. Alot of dental problems are genetic. Thats just my 2 cents. Good luck.

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I teach kindergarten and I have several students who put a lot of things in their mouth, especially their shirt collar or sleeve. They are bright kids and most of the others don't really seem to notice a whole lot. So don't stress too much over the kindergarten issue.
In observing those kids, I think that their sucking increases when they are stressed. I can't tell you what lead to it. But I would suggest that you talk to his pediatrician about your concerns. I have heard that this behavior may be an indicator of other issues; on the other hand it may also just be a sign of immaturity (he's only 5 after all). Either way, your doctor should be able to offer some suggestions and/or help identify any underlying issues.

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H.P.

answers from Denver on

Hi M.,

I am a teacher and taught first grade for quite some time. I had a little boy in my class with this problem. His shirt collars were always drenched. I eventually started giving his straws to chew on and this seemed to eliminate him sucking/chewing on other things. The straws could easily be thrown away and replaced as needed. Hope this helps.

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G.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My daughter is a chewer, too - getting better, but at nearly 7, I still have to remind her to keep things that aren't food out of her mouth. Her teacher has been really supportive, and allows my child to have gum in class so that she has something to do with her mouth at times (like circle time or reading) when her fingers, clothes, or hair used to end up in her mouth. It does seem to help a lot. Her teacher also assured me that this sort of thing is not uncommon, and that most kids outgrow it by second grade or so.

I've also found that punitive approaches did nothing to help the problem, but did cause conflict between me and my child. What has helped at home is to make her aware of when she is chewing things. Often she doesn't notice she's doing it until I say something. It also helped when our hairdresser gave her a really detailed description of what sort of germs live under fingernails. Eeeew!

Good luck. I hope some of this helps.

E.F.

answers from Casper on

M.
My daughter sucked her thumb until she turned 5 too, and we had to work at it very hard with a good bribe to get her to stop. I sucked mine when I was little also. And I still have an oral fixation that never seems satisfied! Well its not that bad, but I chew on my nails, not bite them, but they are always near my mouth. And I chew A LOT of gum. So I thought for your little guy, you could let him chew sugar free gum as a reward for not chewing on other things. Then once he has stopped everything else, you could ween him slowly off the gum in time for school.
good luck
E.

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J.H.

answers from Billings on

Can you offer him things like gum or suckers to help him? You could get low calorie or sugar free gum and suckers to try, so he wouldn't be eating straight sugar all day. Also, offer him things that are supposed to go in his mouth, like his tooth brush, to chew/suck on. Also, they make these Taggies blankets for babies, but those might help him too (I think you can find them at www.taggies.com)

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

I think it's the age my son was never a thumb sucker and around that age everything went into his mouth, I am still "fighting" him (my6 year old) to keep his shirt collars out of his mouth, my 15 year old son did the same thing at this age, but my 6 year old by far has been the worst, lets put it this way, we bought new bunk beds for him and my then three year old DD, him on top her on bottom, I had noticed he sucked on the railing but didn't think a lot of it about 8 months later I climbed up there to get the sheets down, until know one of my older kids usually did it, and to my surprise what did I find.....my son was actually a beaver, he had chewed the wood railing up....ugh! I like the suggestion of substituting with something else, like suckers or gum and even the toothbrush, anything to keep his hands and mouth occupied, good luck!

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