Help moms!! I'm a little stumped. My son is 11 years old and can't remember his morning routine. We always do things in the exact order every morning. wake up, shower, eat breakfast, take meds, brush teeth, brush hair, put on deodorant,get dressed, put on shoes. Well, every AM he will do one thing and come ask, "what next"? I tell him. I have even tried replying "I don't know what is next"? I've tried putting a list on the closet door in his room for him to look at every day. He still yet will come to me and ask, what do I do now? My daughter who is 7 can get ready without any problems and not forget anything. She follows him around after she is ready asking Bubba have you brushed your teeth, etc. Is this a boy thing? Do I need to be patient? I know we can't tell him to do more than one thing at a time because if you tell him multiple things he will only remember the first thing you tell him. But he has been getting ready every AM by his self with little help for about 5 years now. Any ideas to help him remember the AM routine would be great! A lttle about my son: He is a bacterial mendingitis survivor from 7 months old. From this he is deaf in his right ear. He is a Shriner Hospital patient. They have done several botox injections and casting on his legs due to muscle restraint causing toe walking. He also has had speech and occupational therapy. He still struggles with major sensory issues. Keep in mind he is an A/B student in advance placement classes in 6th grade.
Hello, maybe you should talk to the docor about this situation and do some kind of memory test. Sounds like
he's had a lot going on in his young life. I have a boy
and we do the same thing every morning, but because I have
one I think he just likes us together. I would say contact his doctor. Good luck.
It could be a hormonal thing. Men are very "one thing at a time" peoplw anyway and with your son's challenges the hormones could really be messing with him. Also, perhaps he is just not a morning person, like me. I have to drag myself through my mornings. Perhaps a treat for every day he completes his list without help might cut through the testosterone. LOL
YOu are in my prayers,
W.
This is common with children who have ADD or ADHD. Considering the other areas you are working on with him, I would talk to a developmental pediatrian for guidance.
No, it's not a boy thing. My older daughter was like this, too (except around that age, her grades started to slip considerably). Your son has had a lot going on in his young life. It sounds like overall he's doing really well, but he needs a little extra support from you. Try the toxin-removal (both environmental and diet) and taking him to a therapist who specializes in trauma. From an adult perspective, all these things may seem a lot more bearable than they do from the perspective of a small child. Also, a checkoff list and system of rewards for getting through his morning routine himself (by going through the list, which you refer him to when he has questions) may be helpful as well.
Hi T..
I am wondering if he is just looking for interaction in the morning...
Also, he could probably use some kind of acronym to help get ready in the morning. Create a word that he will repeat or a song that he can repeat in his head, that has special correlation to the morning routine. Also, if he learns a little bit of sign language, he can sign to himself what the processes are, and he will be training himself to know what is next, just by going through the list in sign language. My son is the same way - I cannot tell him to do more than one thing - and it really frustrates the grandparents when they say something like, go brush your teeth, put on your night clothes and put your dirty clothes in the hamper. He ends up completely ignoring them. But I will say - go do 1, 2, 3 - and he will understand that he has to do those steps in that order.
Most of us learned the planets' names based on an acronym... It is pretty cool how the mind works - you would think that learning something in code would be much more difficult than learning a list, but alas, no...
Good luck - and I know it is frustrating, but try not to show it - it will make him feel worse about not remebering. Turn it into something fun and hopefully you will both enjoy it.
HTH,
S.
Try making a picture list of his am routine. Use a digital camera or polaroid and take pictures of him doing each activity. Tape the pictures in order on the wall somewhere where he can look at them in the morning. Practice the morning routine with him teaching him to look at the pictures each time he asks what next. I have had a lot of success in the classroom with this procedure. I hope it helps you out.
Well, I think you had the right idea about making a list for him to follow. Try to make a picture schedule - take real pictures of his routine. Also, a good idea would be to put velcro on the back of the pictures so he can remove them once he has finished the task. If he comes to you, just walk over to his schedule, remove finished items and and point to the next item. He might be liking the verbal attention he is getting from you, so this can be a way to limit the verbal exchange. Hope this helps! My kids love visual schedules:)
It sounds to me like you have a remarkable little boy who has overcome a lot. You should be very proud of him, his sister, his father and most of all yourself. I know a little of what you must be going through. My eleven year old son has Autism. Maybe it is a side effect of his meds or maybe he's just not a morning person.With those grades, he sounds like an absent-minded professor! My advice, just help him through the morning and maybe the rest of his day won't be quite so tough. You're obviously a great mom. Enjoy your son and your mornings!
hmmmm... so is it behavioral or habit or cognitive? I think, the A/B grades suggests that he is capable, at least, of learning a routine... And yet, you have some legitimate reasons for giving your son some latitude for forgetfulness. I would maybe sit him down and talk to him about it. Ask, "What's going on? Are you having trouble figuring out what to do next in the morning or do you just like to have Mom guide you? Can you work on doing two tasks before you come to me? Then three?" Work his way up and reward the good? And if that's not the answer, I really don't know what to do, maybe seek an occupational therapist's help with how to handle that.
Hi T.,
Rachel is right on all counts. Kids are different and susceptible to different things. My oldest daughter had no problem with routine, thought, and focus but my youngest had a horrible time. I don't know why they were different but they were.
When I removed the toxins out of my home, my youngest became clear headed, remembering simple tasks again. She had been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD prior to my detoxing the house and soon after her doctor removed the diagnosis. After we determined what was affecting her, we did a colon cleanse and put her on an absorbable multivitamin so the nutrition could fight off the invading toxins.
I have come to know that there are numerous toxins today where there weren't years ago. Besides pharmaceuticals, the chemicals we use in our homes and the chemicals in our bodies (whether from processing or preservatives in our food, leftover chemicals from medications, or simply the shampoo we use) contraindicate also. We have to limit the amount a person gets in order for our bodies and minds to function correctly. Your son has had botulinum toxin injected into him. I'm not saying it didn't help what it was prescribed for but it is a dangerous neurotoxin, it goes straight to the brain and it doesn't just dissipate from the body.
All that to say this… the body is a resilient thing. I was able to slow down my Dad’s Alzheimer’s Disease to a snail’s pace. He celebrated his 90th birthday last month and where he didn’t know my name 3 years ago, he calls me by it now. I’m not saying he’s cured, but I am saying that every little step, even well into the 80s, can do some good.
God bless you T. and all that you’re doing for him. Praise God you are asking questions. If you’d like to talk I’d be glad to. Nutrition and detoxing has made such a difference in my family’s lives.
Regards,
M.
He has to read through the entire list of WORDS, each time he forgets, and then, forgets where he wants to be on that list! Frustrating.
Take photos of him, doing whatever you want him to do at each step. Post them, in 1, 2, 3 order, down the back of the door whereever he normally gets dressed/ready. It should be a snap for him to follow himself. S. B.
Hi T.:
I am just going out on a limb here but two things popped into mind. One, is he just getting your attention. Could it be that maybe he likes to talk to you in the morning and with the rush of getting the routine done, this is one way of doing it? And two, maybe if he made the list he would remember it better. Perhaps this coming weekend when you have time maybe, you two could sit down and see what he likes best, worst, or whatever. Altering it a little to fit his "needs" will maybe help him remember because the focus is on him. Just a few thoughts...sorry if you have already done this.
T.,
I would first ask him what he thinks would help him remember the morning routine and have a little chat about how important it is for him to be able to do this on his own. I would suggest a little check off sheet on a clip board that he can carry to you after he has gotten each thing done...you can check he has done it and then you can remind him of the next thing to do. Eventually, the repetition may enable him to get the routine in his head so that he can begin going down the list on his own. This clipboard will help him feel like he is on top of the situation and not solely relying on everyone else.
Hope this helps.
I would look closely at his current medications (pay particular attention to side effects and adverse reactions, rxlist has excellent drug monographs)and his diet. Most people fail to realize the importance of diet in daily functioning. Remember that just because a food is ok for one person it may be toxic to another. I would suggest using his blood type as a basis for his diet changes. If you are considering herbal supplementation I would suggest using herbs that will help support his immune, brain and nervous systems primarily. He may also benefit from a very gently detoxification to help rid the body of toxins and any remnants of the meningitis that may be lingering.
I am a holistic health practitioner and would be glad to work with you on your son's issues. I can make recommendations of holistic therapies to use with him as well as design a diet and supplementation program. If you'd like more information feel free to message me here, check out my website (www.madameapothecary.com), or email me at ____@____.com.
I would take him back to the doctor immediately. You mention several medical problems. His memory loss would seem to be yet another severe medical problem. I wouldn't waste any time. The memory issue could be mild amnesia, short term or long term memory problems with either recalling the information or storing it, memory issue can also be a sign that he has suffered a mild stroke. While he is young it is possible. He could be suffering a side effect from the Botox injections. Botox is pig botulism and not recommended for use in children under twelve because it can cause nerve damage or synapse disorders. One thing is clear there is something going on with his brain function and needs to be checked.
The brain is a very complicated organ that is responsible for every conscious action and automated action such as breathing. I advise to take him to the doctor and get a referral to a neurologist.
Hi T.,
It is awesome that he is doing so well after all his challenges! If he has been getting ready every day by himself for 5 years, what has changed? How long has it been going on and what physically has taken place for 3-6 months before the change? You obviously know how the medical changes affect the functioning of biochemical and neurological, and have the therapy skills in place, so I would take a hard look at what caused the decline. You can use medicine and natural medicine to heal the immune (yeast, bacterial, etc) which cause the host of issues you are dealing with, but detailed supplementation is required to reverse the biochemical. Have you done any testing with a physician skilled in the DAN! protocol (J. Buckley, MD in Cumming is one), including IGG food sensitivity, neurotransmitter, heavy metals?
My son has recovered from ASD which includes all the major sensory, motor, ADD, etc using this medicine. Following DAN!, we did a protocol by the amazing doc and researcher named Amy Yasko (www.amyyasko.com) which did genetic based testing and then worked through the supplementation of the mutated genetics. It worked!....and I mean worked! Also, we were doing homeopathy and osteopathic manipulation which were also very powerful (I know because I did them myself with him and was astounded). Hitting it hard from multiple angles is very powerful. It also takes patience and a little faith, because there is no pill that reverses it in 12 hours....but when it starts working, there are no bad side effects or declines, just slow movement forward.
I hope something here can help you. Regards, J.
