I think I know the answer but can I do anything about it? She said a neighbor told her I did something I did not do. What I want to do is sue for slander but I understand that is unreasonable. I would talk to her but I have tried that before and she doesn't believe anything I say. I have also been told by other neighbors that she is spreading rumors about me. I don't understand why this is happening. We have been nothing but nice to them since they moved in 3 years ago. My husband plowed their driveway and sidewalk before we even knew their names because that is just the kind of person he is.
Thanks ladies. I know you are all right. We no longer speak to them. Their kids don't go to our children's schooll so I don't even run into them there. They are in the nursery at church and my children are older than the nursery allows so that is not an issue. It mainly the tension in the cul-de-sac. We've lived here 12 years and never had anyone treat us this bad (although they are friends with the next door neighbors who won't even keep the dog quiet so we can sleep at night so they are worse). I just want all the drama to stop. I thnk I really just wanted to vent. I feel better now and will try to forgive her but I will not forget lest I allow her to do this to me again.
What you're describing (her telling something that a neighbor told her you said) is hearsay.
Hearsay:
1. Unverified information heard or received from another; rumor.
2. Law Evidence based on the reports of others rather than the personal knowledge of a witness and therefore generally not admissible as testimony.
You know how you discribe your H, how good he is, by saying that's just the kind of person he is. Well, this neighbor is a liar and that's just the way she is. It takes a while but people will know the difference.
My mil is a compulsive liar. Ha! I know that's what all DILs say but with her it's the truth! She has a mental illness, BPD, and she basically will lie about others to make herself feel better. People with this are dangerous. They believe that anything they do to you is justified. I could write a book and someday I might.
There is a judge who writes about these people saying what you want most out of this situation is OUT. Don't even dream of continuing this with a lawsuit. Your best bet is to leave her alone. Don't talk to her. Ignore her. Never go near her property. A large percentage of these people are involved in lawsuits because THEY never give up. You have no idea what they are capable of. You can't out crazy, crazy. Don't try.
People will figure out who's lying. Trust me. People apologize to us for not believing us. They cut off all contact to my mil. Give her time and she will open her mouth one too many times. Stay true to your values.
What would you gain by filing a law suit? More drama. Let it die.
Actually, you have no grounds for a lawsuit. She told the court ? that a neighbor told her such and such. That is hearsay and not grounds for slander. You have no way of proving the neighbor did not say that, not that it matters. Courts do not accept hear say.
I suggest that you and your husband continue treating her nicely and ignore what she says to others. Your friends will know they're lies. The only way that her lies will negatively affect you is if you pay attention to them and turn them into drama. When you ignore them they die a natural death.
Get a transcript of the court proceedings and if what she has said is a lie. If so I would send a letter to both sides stating as such and then I would also speak to an attorney (many give free consults) and ask if they would just send a letter stating that they need to no longer discuss you or your family as they have already perjured themselves in court.
Be ready that if it is a Criminal Case and her testimony influenced the verdict in anyway, it could lead to an appeal and then possibly another case.
Oh yeah and more importantly that anything else - STAY AWAY FROM THEM COMPLETELY
I have several truly mentally ill neighbors who do things to upset everyone. I understand you feeling powerless and wanting to take back control. Plus, it is hurtful.
I got sick of one lady so I poured my heart out to two neighbors about her causing trouble and they told everyone. Now they know she is lying and they are nice to me.
R.:
Unless she printed it, posted it or told a group of people - it's hearsay.
If she lied under oath, that's a different story. However, you would be hard pressed to prove it unless it's something very specific that you can prove.
People spread rumors all the time...they lie about people to feel better about themselves all the time.
You will know who your friends are if they chose to believe the rumors. Let her tell lies...what goes around, comes around. People will learn the truth about her. They will then start to wonder, if she talks like that about you, what is she saying about them? yeah...they will see her for the attention seeker she is...
Step back. Be nice. Just know that she is not your friend.
Good luck!!
I would say call the court house and talk to a court clerk. If they really did lie under oath there may be steps to follow and talking to the DA about it for their benefit in a court case.
I hope you are staying away from these bad people as much as possible.
I agree with Gamma.
I'm not a lawyer, but from watching court TV (it's okay if you roll your eyes), I think that this is considered hearsay and isn't even admissable.
No more plowing their driveway or sidewalk (or anything else), for sure!!
And I agree with KayB about telling the neighbors. That's the best way to deal with bullies, which these people are. They obviously think that they will COWL you by their actions and you don't have to be cowled. TELL others what they have done to you. Tell, tell, tell. You might save someone else from going through this.
Dawn
