So...in Talking to a Friend About the Communication Issues...

Honestly her mate and your BF sound very similar!
Here's a big newsflash for those women who haven't realized it yet: MEN HATE DRAMA. It's their nature.
AND: Women nit-pick and over-analyze everything. It's our nature.

My husband does not get drama from me over things we discuss. I do not control him and he doesn't control me. Yes, we both have responsibilities that we are well aware of and fulfill, but it's not a "you HAVE to do this" kind of thing. We also trust each other and respect each other.
Example: If he goes somewhere (a guys night out) I don't DRILL him about every detail of the evening. Usually I ask him how Bob is doing, did he have fun....and he responds. I don't have jealousy to drive my questions, and b/c I trust him I really don't care if there was a topless blonde sitting next to him at the bar! LOL
So, while it may be "typical male behavior" in response to an insecure, jealous and/or controlling wife, it's not typical behavior in my house.
I think the better a relationship is (i.e. less control, jealousy, distrust, insecurity) the more openly and freely a man will communicate. Not yours, specifically, just speaking in general.
Again--they hate DRAMA!

I agree whole heartedly with Denise P, and have the same situation at home with DH.

It's only typical male bahavior when her response forces him into it.

In other words, if she asks a question, and he answers her. If she doens't like it, two scenarios can result:

1) she accepts his response as is (honest), and works with it - one way or another.
OR
2) she hears what he says, and then continues to ask questions and whine until she hears what she wants to.

I've grown up in a house where my mother does the latter. She badgers and badgers and badgers until she gets the response that she wants. Then she just gets mad when things turn out differently. But after years of this, my father has found that it's easier to tell her what she wants than to try to explain himself. Some people are able to coexist that way. It's not ALL the men. It's 50/50. You can never change someone else. All you can change is how you react.

It is pretty hard to comment completely on this because it really depends on the details of the communication.

For example:

If your man says, "I went out with the guys for a couple of hours after work." but didn't mention that they went to Old Chicago so they can watch the game. It doesn't seem like a big deal that you didn't get all of the information.

but...

If you man says, "I went out with the guys for a couple of hours after work." but didn't mention that they went to Hooters and his old girlfriend was there, then you have a whole different issue.

One situation, he just didn't feel like it was important enough to disclose all the info. (pretty typical of men), with the other situation, he is obviously leaving out information that would upset you, now it is a problem. He is being deceitful.

I would say if your friend is fine with it, then so be it. If you are not ok with the behavior, then don't let it happen in your life. One word of caution though, as women, we tend to want more information then men naturally give, which in turn we begin to nag to get it. Just take each situation for what it is and don't blow things out of proportion.

I know this is late, but here is my 2 cents about my husband and similar behavior.

This same thing used to plague me as well. My husband still to this day does this. But, I have come to understand him more after digging deeper during a couples marriage study. He HATES confrontation, even in innocent situations. He literally does it as a knee jerk reaction to my question. That is why the details eventually come out, but not at first. He is divulging the info in a comfortable for him way.

Here is what I have started doing and found that it works well for us. I give him time to answer on his terms, by introducing the question/idea and giving him time to answer (even if it is hours or days later). I will say, "I would love to know your opinion on such and such!" Then, he will talk to me about it after he has had time to "think" about the answer first. Or, if there is a deadline for his answer, I will give him a "warning" about when we will be talking about such and such. "After the kids go to bed tonight, I would like to talk to you about such and such."

Not all males are like this, but many of them are. It can be frustrating for me to "wait" for his answer or to talk about something, since I am an instant gratification kind of person. However, I have to remind myself that it is just as frustrating for him to be put on the spot sometimes and that we have to be able to meet in the middle. So, I have to be a little frustrated while waiting and he is a little frustrated by being forced to answer one way or the other. ;)

Tara,

It doesn't matter how you feel unless your husband's behavior is similar. Your friend probably just needs a sounding board, so I would just be a good listener and don't offer advice that may not be wanted.

Blessings....

i have no idea what the background is, but i feel sorry for this fella. sounds like a guy who is badgered into the ground.
khairete
S.

Some people in general have problems with being up front and honest. I do not believe it's a male trait. Also, people have a hard time being honest when they know they will get shot down immediately.

I don't really believe in hard and fast male/female traits. I hate drama, does that make me a guy? My husband over analyzes, does that make him a woman?
My husband is not a great communicator by nature but it's something that he works on (it's a great life skill) and I like to encourage him to speak his mind. But he knows that I will listen to what he has to say without freaking on him.
Trust has to be built BOTH ways. Yes, honesty is KEY in building trust, but so is having a safe place to speak out. If a man....or woman, does not have a safe place to speak out, then why would they *want* to be honest?

I liked what Melissa M said about not being able to change someone else, but being able to change *your* reaction.

I'm not sure why you are so curious about male behavior, but don't think it's fair to assume that any gender's behavior is typical. Stereotyping gets people into a heap of trouble.
Good luck!