Social Dilemma

My thoughts for a 2 year old child, autistic or not, is that they don't need that peer segregated social interaction at all. He needs his time with his family. You can have other families over on occasion, have playdates if you want, but the other stuff isn't necessary or even helpful to them. They need to learn their social skills from people who actually have self-control and have mastered the social scene, not 2 year olds who have no clue about social graces.

Just go to the park/playground whenever you can, there are ALWAYS kids there and you don't need to worry about a schedule!

I am not sure how old your son is but let me give you a bit of insight and take it for what it is worth. Oh, my son is almost 13.

Well I am having a hard time wording this that it doesn't sound bad. They manipulate like nothing you have ever seen. He may not be as traumatized in daycare as he appears.

Not saying it is easy to tell the difference, especially when they are young, but they can do some crazy things to get their way.

Again, don't know how old he is but discussing his schedule will work wonders. When Andy was younger he would have a fit if we just decided on a whim to go to Mc Donalds. He loves McDonalds but he hates unanticipated changes even more than he loves McDonalds.

So the morning of daycare tell him we need to do this and this and we will then be going to daycare. Is there something you like to play with? What do they serve for lunch? Is there a kid there you like to play with?

In other words get him used to the idea before you head out.

I thought I was crazy schedule driven until I had Andy! He gives new meaning to inflexible!

Oh, Andy started preschool three days a week at three. Cried the first week and then figured out this is part of life. Then I got the running ahead in the door, don't let the door hit you on the butt on the way out....

Oops, read the whole thing and missed the two. Yeah I would wait till three for preschool.

I would not over worry this. Two is still a little young to play with other children. Give yourself a break and don't try to pile this one on just yet.

Instead of looking at daycare centers, try looking into a family daycare at a home. They would probably be more likely to let you do the slow wean thing.

It think it is very important for you to socialize your son and you're right, he's still a kid, autistic or not.

I agree with the park or the library. With so many therapies, it's hard to do everything, but I understand that sense of panic that you're running out of time. Try getting to a place where you're comfortable with your schedule, and then plan to go to the park or the library once a week. Like another person said, your son can go to the half day (or full day) of public pre-K at age three, so more social support is coming. My son is in reg. ed pre-K five mornings a week, spec. ed. pre-K four afternoons a week, and speech therapy every other week; however, he just turned five. At age two, he was hardly doing anything social. I am very happy with his social skills at this time. He has autism, and he loves other kids. He also has friends who like him and request playmates from him.

I would say find a therapeutic child care setting where his special needs would be the norm for the staff. They would see the need for this style of weaning.

Otherwise just keep trying to find a good fit. There could be someone else out there looking for a similar setting too.

I know my town has a play date FB page and they do it by invitation only so they can each know each other and not have lurkers. They do play dates at different times when as many as possible kids can attend.

You could run a classified add stating you'd like to coordinate a play group for you child who has some special needs. Then you could hold them when you want.....

Is there a playgroup in your area for kids on the spectrum? If not, if you're in contact with any other parents of autistic kids, you might try putting the word out....

Our local library has story-time and other events for kids of this age where parents are welcome to attend. Also, check places like the local gym or pool. Frequently there are "Mommy & Me" lessons that are very low-key.

ANd, yes, two is a still a little young even for many neuro-typical kids for drop-off stuff or for interactive play groups.

Good luck!

try a part day preschool, most of them will allow you to stay.

Talk to his BCBA about getting him into a social skills group appropriate for his age. Even neuro-typical children are primarily engaging in parallel play at this age, but I agree it is important to expose him to other children so that he can grasp concepts like turn-taking and sharing. My son's ABA provider has tried to get children of similar ages and functionality in therapy at the same time so they can do "circle time" in a group and work on the kids with peer interaction. Each kiddo still has an individual therapist working with him, but they play in a group as well. It is awesome. It may only be for 15 minutes or so, but it is a start.

I also take my son to playgrounds a lot. Indoor at the mall, inflatables like Monkey Joe's, or traditional outdoor playgrounds. An activity doesn't have to be structured to allow your son an opportunity to learn and grow.

Once he turns three, he will be eligible for Special Pre-K which will only be half-days four days a week. You may decide that is a good path for you to build on his social skill opportunities. Good luck to you both.

How about spontaneous things like dropping in at the library and hanging out in the kids room (my library always has little kids visiting), going for picnic at park/playground?