Social Anxiety in 5Yo

My opinion: Your son is jealous of his little sister and that is perfectly normal for him to feel this way! And instead of saying that to you - because he is too little to realize this himself - he is showing signs of not wanting to leave you. He is jealous that little sis gets to stay with you and he has to get shipped off to school or daycare or the library. Suggestion: Can you find someone to watch your 18 mo old while you take your son to school or the library? If you can't, then take your son to the Library or wherever on the weekends and have your husband watch the 18 month old. Or maybe for the first day of school, your husband can go into work late and hold the baby and YOU can be the main one getting your son off to Kindergarten. Your son is just stressed out because the baby gets to stay home wiht you, that's all there is to it. He feels that he is missing out and you are having great fun with the baby and he's not number one with you anymore. Hope my advice helps if you decide to take it. Good luck.

check out the "social stories" website by carol gray(not sure on her name). It lets you make books for kids that help explain to them what to expect for certain social situations and helps to decrease anxiety.

My son (who just turned five the end of June) is showing similar signs of social anxiety. He seems to have all of a sudden developed fears. He is afraid of the dark (never voiced it before). In social situations, he is afraid that no one will talk to him. What works for my son is that I gave him a tool to use.......if he feels like no one will talk to him, I remind him to say, "Hi, my name is Ben. What's your name?". Next, I remind him to say something that he likes to do, then ask the other person if they like to do it, too. After a couple of reminders, he does fine.........until we go to a new situation.

My point is look for the tool. It's tough to say exactly what will work for you, but ask him. Maybe explain that this is a good thing, and ask him what would make him more comfortable. Or, try going during the story hour, but read in a different section where he can see the story time, but doesn't have to be a part of it. It might take a few times......or several since he is five, but if you build it into the routine, he might relax.

I hope this helps........sorry if I rambled. I am a Mom who is passionate about reading to my kids (I have two). And exposing them to the library, so I hope I didn't go overboard.

Hi Kristen;

Hard to say what is going on exactly with just a "snapshot" view of you little one. Something that comes to my mind though is that he may just be "hardwired" somewhat differently than the rest of the world. I'd like to suggest a book called "The Introvert Advantage" by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D.
Dr. Laney suggests that about 1/4 of the population is hardwired for the introvert side of the equation. Introverts as she describes them are inward thinking, introspective, deep, somewhat solitary, and are energized by quiet time alone. They are often overwhelmed by social situations and crowds (much more in the book on how to identify an introvert).
This is not bad news. Rather it is so helpful for parents to know that they might be raising an "innie" and how to best support that child. There is a great chapter on how to both identify and raise an introvert child.
The book is amazing and funny and worth every ounce of your time. I hope you find this helpful and wish you the best of times if you do indeed have an innie child. They are amazing and wonderful beings!

Warmly,
K. T. (an "innie")