My son who is 8 has been playing soccer for 3 years. He has always loved it. Problem is he keeps getting put on teams with people who have never played before or for coaches who have never coached. I thought all of this was behind us. Recently after another 10-0 loss he is losing all self esteem. All he says is he sucks and he is no good. I really don't care about wins and losses ( truthfully). But when is my son gonna get to the point where he doesn't want to play because he sees no results. Should I search for another team or just wait it out till he finally gives up. I can't stress enough I really don't care if he wins I just want him to have fun and learn. Is is possible for him to learn when his teams always seem so mismatched against the others.
might see if they offer Select soccer in his age group. i mean it will cost more money and needs more time but if he is up to it... and they go more indepth on skills.
My daughter has been on the same soccer team for 3 years now and the first 2 years, they won 1 game. The third year, they finally started winning. They still lose on occasion of course and I still hear complaints from some of the girls about how they "stink" when they lose so I don't know if that's just a kid attitude thing or it's just those particular kids who can't be happy unless they are winning. They have a fantastic coaching staff though so win or lose, those girls are built up like they won and my daughter, at least, has a great time either way.
I would say that if your son has some real talent, try to get him on another team because I personally think you should always cultivate real talent. If he's just in it for the fun, and he's not asked to quit or anything like that, and you're ok with the current coaching staff, I would just let him play on whatever team he's assigned and then if he eventually gets fed up, you can always look to put him on another team the next season. Of course, in any situation, if you're not happy with the coach, and talking to the coach about it doesn't make a difference, then I would look into getting the child on another team.
Good luck!
I think that there are more competitive leagues that your son can join. My son's soccer team has a few boys who are very good that play on one team for fun and then play on the more competitive league team to be challenged.
H.,
My son just started on a developmental team called Metro Soccer Club and the coach is a former professional player from Italy. He stresses that's it's not about winning a game - it's a about player development, both physically and mentally. The only thing the parents can say to their child is "Did you have fun?" If we try to 'coach' from the sidelines, we get reminded that he's the coach and it's too confusing for kids to get contradictory directives. There are a lot of parents out there that do care about the number of wins and they choose NOT to have their kids play for our coach, which is very sad. Before finding this team, we have been fortunate to always have coaches that stressed having fun, but I do sympathize with your situation. I would search for another team, one that better matches his current skills and one that has a coach that shares your same values. Don't give up - there's gotta be a team near you that would be a great fit for your son.
It sounds like he is ready for a developmental program. I don't know what area you are in but I would suggest calling Lake Highlands Soccer Association in Dallas or check out their website and they can steer you in the right direction.
Boy do I know where you are coming from. I have been in the same position. He stayed on the same team for years and would only win 1 game a season. We all know that it is suppose to be for fun and not suppose to really matter if they win or lose but if it starts bothering the childs self esteem like it did mine it is time to change. Last season we had him change teams just for him to end up on another team that did not win at all. The coach didn't know what he was doing and my husband and I were the only parents that ever showed up to the practices and the games. YES I said also the games. It was pretty sad. He will NEVER be put back on that team again either. We do not expect them to always win but for them to win every once in a while is good for their self esteem. If I were you I would have him put back into the open draw before he does give up and not want to ever play again. Good Luck.
Did you try with some soccer camps or soccer club
here's a link
http://fc.dallas.mlsnet.com/t104/youth/
hope it helps :)
It is great that he has played for so long. Sometimes the teams that are formed just don't "click" and the team players and family can suffer.
Keep in mind that your sons athletic career is just beginning, you can always change leagues for a fresh perspective.
If you like the coach, his teaching style and repore with your son, then staying with the team is a good idea. Ask what you can do to help with practices and drill during the weekly practice. Focus on your son's evolution and he could pretty much be the Star player.
However, if you are displeased with the coaching/coach then after voicing your angle and concern to this self-confidence and offering to help out during practice, You might consider talking to friends and getting on a team/association.
Your son's skill level will naturally progress, but if the team as a whole isn't motivated, It is natural for you to feel displeased and be cautious for your son.
The goal of sports and athletes is to feel achievement and confidence, and whatever you can adjust/change to ensure that your son doesn't get distracted by current limitations/ coaching/ lack of motivation within the teams.
Focus on the source of your frustration and eliminate it, then make the best decision based on your knowledge, intuition and your son's best interest.
Team sports has been such a blessing for our family, providing an outlet for my son, myself, daughter and my husband who has coached for several seasons...
As moms we know that the focus shouldn't be on winning. Trying is most important. After persistant and dedicated effort the result is inevitable to win... and lose...
The wins are pleasant, and the losses are a balancing effect. The wins build confidence and team spirit. Losing teaches valuable lessons that benefit the kids in the long run. Because the reality is that we can't always win. But we can try, and trying is all the we require from our son. Regardless of the situation/ team/ day, if he tries as hard as he can to do the best he has in him, then he will be a winner in my eyes! (What more can a mom want)
It is so important to focus on having fun and try not to factor in the score. I focus on the enjoyment of the times invested on the field, the friends he makes along the way, and attention to the evolution of our strong, confident and balanced athletic men we are raising! I know that he will be balanced, humble and extremely resilient as a result of the ups and down that he experiences on and off the field. And this is practice for later. Every time he puts his soccer shoes on he is in essence building himself up, from the inside out... and every time he earns a goal, assists his teammates, enjoys a cupcake after the game, you should be proud that you are awesome for having the clarity of the situation to want more for your son. While giving him the chance to experience life, ups and downs. And also the knowledge to know when to move on. Make the best of what you have and he will also.
Good luck you! I'm sure the right path will unfold before you! :)
