So I was watching this special on teen pregnancy, and it was all about these girls getting pregnant and how difficult their lives were. So on and so forth. But you know what I didn't see? Not ONE of the guys that were teen fathers! NOT ONE! Here they were basically talking about the girls making a mistake, how they were irresponsible, yadda yadda, hey how about the fellas? Weren't they just as irresponsible? I knew a guy in high school, very gifted on the basket ball court, but a complete loser other wise. Got kicked out of every high school in my town. By time he graduated he had FIVE children. FIVE! All by different girls...some in high school...a couple not. Where is the special aimed at guys like him? GAH.....I guess I just tired of all the girls are bad for having sex and should say no, but they hardly ever aim that same line of thinking at the guys. What do you guys think?
Grandma T: See that's kinda what I am talking about. Your mom said something about "spreading your legs" Why aren't we teaching the boys to "Keep it zipped up?" Shouldn't that go both ways?
Sorry, but I don't buy the "it's their instinct to reproduce", it's just another excuse. We are an evolved enough species to understand that there are consequences for our actions.
I agree with you 100%. I have 2 boys, and I promise you that they will know that double standard is NOT acceptable no matter what "society" and all the fools that includes say.
In my opinion, thinking that they aren't "able" to be as responsible gives them the excuse to not act responsibly. Raise the standards, people!
That's the way it is, J.. Men rule the world and they will ALWAYS see the women at fault. And they have brainwashed women to treat other women this way too.
Dawn
I agree in principle, but the truth is that females have to be more responsible for what happens to their bodies than males do. Ultimately females are going to have to be the ones to make the decisions, and do the work.
So the onus falls on us females, unfortunately.
But should the male perspective have been included in the special? Absolutely.
My husband and I were just talking about this the other day... we'd love to make a pilot and try to air a show regarding (and applauding) those teen fathers who actually step up and take responsibilities for their babies.
There ARE teen fathers out there who take responsibility... but they are far and few between. I think if there was a show that showed other young dad's that their are other men/boys out there just like them taking care of their kids, we'd see a big change.
I totally agree. On the flipside if the father ends up with the baby it is also harder for him to get help with raising the child. The female can get whatever from the state to help pay for the child, but not Daddy! I would LOVE to see a special about teen Dad's and how THEIR life has changed.
I think girls are the more responsible party, it is the girl that allows it to happen. We have that choice..... The father has a part to play as well but ultimately it's up to the girl. My mom always told me that if you spread your legs......
Personally, I believe that women are much smarter than men when it comes to making decisions about things, we tend to think it through, get advice, etc.
We are the ones that carry the child and birth it. The father can have absolutely no emotions about it if he isn't in love with the mother and wanting to become a dad.
** I raised two boys and trust me when I say I told them to keep it zipped up, I'm sure most moms do tell their sons this. If they don't, they should. It's instinct for males to reproduce tho, and I think that's where the problem lies.
Both males and females ARE equally responsible, but there is unfortunately a double standard which exists and isn't going to go away any time soon.
The fact is, physiologically and psychologically, women have more of a stake in child-rearing. We carry that baby, deliver it, nurse it, etc. Men don't.
From an evolutionary perspective, men are doing what they were MADE to do, and women are staying with their kids...doing what they were made to do. We might not like it in today's society, because moral and social expectations have changed, but you can't just change natural instinct.
I agree! and as a mom of two boys - you know we have discussions about what to look for in a "lady" and reinforce positive virtues of girls, just like moms do with their daughters about boys (right? I know my mom did.)
That said, they are pretty young and when they are old enough to date, etc this will be a two sided conversation.
I think with the media and tv though, it is easier to focus on the girls because they are the ones with the growing bellies, going through the labor, etc. . .
I'm with ya. To me it seems so irresponsible either way. The problem is that society says that sex is to be celebrated but the child that is created through the act is not. If we had no sex before marriage, taught that sex is sacred, and only should be entered into after marriage we wouldn't have this problem. We can't have it both ways.
Maybe having today's kids take care of babies (before they decide to have some too early) might help?? There are few girls that do babysitting any more (at least around here) unless they are barely into double digits -- and everybody freaks if a guy would sit (he must be a perv) ...
Actually having to do it all - pretty much - might have a bit of deterent? Not that silly toy thing some send home!
Eh, teen dads don't wind up getting saddled with most of the responsibilities. It'd make a boring show.
Although it's not right, I think girls are focussed on more often because they are the ones, who ultimately, have to face the consequences. While it's not completely unheard of, it's not too likely that a girl will dump the baby off on the father and his family and go on about her life. Most likely, it's the other way around.
The double standard doesn't bother me because I keep my life straight and I have 4 kids to take care of, not the whole world.
I DO have 3 boys and if THEY get someone pregnant (hopefully I'm teaching them NOT to) they'll have to deal with me and their Dad.
Girls and Boys both know what will happen. Male or female should have more respect for themselves, in my opinion, than to risk having a child before the time they are ready and before they know if this is the person they are going to spend the rest of their lives with. She knows if it were to happen, she would be the pregnant one and she'll probably be raising the baby. Double standard or not, she knows and so does he, but he won't be the one with the big belly!
It's instinct to reproduce period! That is not exclusive to males. WHy ya think we're all so horny as teens? Welll... at least I was =P
I have taught my boy that if he gets someone pregnant he WILL be doing his part. I tell him all the time "don't be silly" and he finishes with "I know mom wrap my willy" LOL
My daughter I have taught her the same, thing pretty much.. It's oh so easy to get swept away but if there is no condom thre is no sex!
Course I would rather they wait until they are more mature emotionally but I actually remember being a teenager. If it happens I will be there to help and I love them no matter what.
