So Sad!

I understand completely!!!!!!!!! The first day I put my son in daycare I sobbed inconsolably(sp?). I called and checked on him every day once a day for three months straight. Surprisingly he LOVES daycare. They were even able to put him on a schedule and are very sensitive to his eczema. I pick up a happy baby every day. He even has two best friends at 11 months old! He has gotten over his stranger anxiety too. I know it is hard but hang in there. Best of luck.

I saw your message about wanting to find a home-based business. I started mine with Arbonne skincare about 6 months ago. This company is rated #1 with the Direct Seller's Assoc. and has been around and growing for 27 years. The products truly are amazing and their baby care line is the best!! I love that make my own hours and can be home alot too!!
My team is doing great, I have already promoted to Area Manager and my next promotion, I get my own brand new white Mercedes-Benz! This is a completely legit company. Now is the time to jump in. I will help you get started and show you how I have been successful. There are opportunity meetings and trainings that are FREE and I have not lost any money on anything with this company!! I've only made a bunch!! Also, if you have anyone else interested, I can set you both up to start your own team. Call me at ###-###-####. J.

Hi C.

Trust me it does get easier. It's harder for you because you were lucky enough to stay home as long as you did. I had to go back to work just 8 weeks after I had my son. I was fortunate with both my sons that my mom watched them full time for me. My youngest is 3 now and is starting preschool 3 x's a week next Wed. The anxiety is killing me. I know he will be fine, mky mom will still have him 2x's a week but I am so nervous.....I know that after the 1st week I will laugh at how nervous I am. The funny thing is my son is so excited to be going to HIS SCHOOL. He simply cannot wait. I only hope he is this happy on Wed.

Good Luck Hon and trust me it does get easier. Wait till your son goes to Kindergarten. I cried the 1st day of school while my son laughed at how silly I was. Heck I cried at his preschool graduation.....I am such a sap!! LOL

Good Luck
Linda
www.workathome4yourfamily.com
Sept. Special...enroll @ 50% off thru 9-30-07 and receive $50 in free products till 9-10-07.....Work at home 4 your family NOT your Boss!!!

C., you're not the worst mom out there! I've been home with my son for almost the entire first two years of his life. I am going back to school to be a nurse, and I had to put him in daycare because the classes are during the day. He screams when I drop him off, and I cry halfway to school. They tell me he's better after I leave, although he gets teary throughout the day. I feel awful about it, but I know that I'm going to be able to give him a better life in the long run.

My best advice is to be prepared to change plans if need be.
Your son will love you no matter what and if the situation affects him negatively, you just have to figure out what might work better. The younger the child is going into daycare the better it might be.
When I went back to work at an office my son was 2 and he was miserable in daycare. He was so used to being with me during the day. I decided to quit and work at night as a waitress so my husband could be with the baby at night. It made a huge difference. My little boy was so much happier to have me home during the day and didn't really care that I was gone for a few hours at night because he was with Daddy. I am also bringing home more money as a waitress because I am not spending most of my pay on daycare, clothes, gas, tolls, and food.
Best of luck to you - S.

Hi C.,

It's hard being a mom. We always feel guilty for something. I've come to realize I have to be happy with the choices I make. My daughter has been in daycare and grandma's since 5 months old (she is now 18 months). I actually am glad she's not with me all day. Now don't get me wrong, I love her and if we had the money...I would stay home...but she gets such stimulation from the other children at her daycare and when she's at grandma's...she's the sparkle in my parent's eyes (it keeps them young too). I am a teacher so my hours are good. My husband comes home late so it would be hard for me to be the only caregiver til 8pm and keep her entertained..cook dinner...keep things clean and eat healthy...being that I am at work during the day, when I come home I am more than ready to be with her. It is nice being with adults and if I have an errand to run or want to do something for myself..get my brows plucked...I don't have to hire a babysitter..I just pick her up a little later. My mother encouraged me to continue with the things that make me happy...getting my nails done or a pedicure every now and then...because when we (3 children) were little..my mom didn't take time for herself...and she eat when and what she could... as a result gained a lot of weight...and my aunt needed to be on medication to take care of her children (back then they didn't know about ADHD)..so basically what I am saying is...you have to do what is best for you and for your family...and be happy with the choices you make...my daugher loves me, her grandparents and school...she learns from all of us and I'm good with that. I think I am a better mom because of it. I have to go because her new favorite thing...it playing with toilet paper...oh what a mess!!

Oh C., I can totally relate! My oldest 2 were in daycare...my oldest for 5 years and my middle son for 3 years. It was the hardest thing I have EVER done. I absolutely broke my heart to leave them day after day. I was lucky to find excellent care for them and they are the happiest kids...and completely well adjusted, behaved etc. Your son WILL know you're his mom and WILL love you even though you need to work.....you are doing what you have to provide for him! That is what we do as moms! We sacrifice of ourselves for our kids.

For me, our family simply could not survive on one income. When I got pg with my third, I decided I was NOT leaving another baby! Being from the business world and having my MBA, I did tons of research on work at home businesses and decided to start an at home business with Arbonne. Within one year I matched the income of my FT job and was able to quit. This year I will actually surpass the income I "used" to make working outside the home. I have been truly blessed!

HTH and GL!

C.
WAHM to Joe (6) Tyler (4) and Dylan (1)
Want to work at home? Visit my website at http://party4fun.myarbonne.com

Hi C.
I am a full-time working mom too, and went back to work after just 12 weeks. It was (and is every day) the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But I think what makes us a good or bad mom is not whether we work or stay home, but the quality of the time and the love we give our child. Make the most of your situation and your time each day, and your child (and you) will do great. Good luck and hang in there!
K.

Hi C.!

Please check out my website to see if it helps you with this situation. It's www.workathomeunited.com/betterlife.

Thanks,

Jo Ann

Kids always know you are there and that you are MOM. That will never change.
I had to work FT with my first and it does get difficult. The best advice i can give you is to create a routine. do something funny -- make a funny face at the door or go around to another entrance to say boo, then leave. he will look forward to that each day. PLUS, as hard as it is to believe this, they have a great time at daycare!! 5 min. after you are gone, they focus on something else. my son is now 4 and he is smarter, more polite and sociable because of his daycare experience.

Also, as he gets older, around 18 mo. or so, he will get really attached to you. Just do the routine thing and it gets better. Around 2 yrs old is a good time to make sure the class has a schedule. I used to take my son to a place that was just a daycare and it was just free-for-all time... not good for a 2yr old!! he needed more structure and we moved him to a place with a more "school" like setting and curriculum (he's still there). He LOVES it! Plus, having activities going on in the classroom helps when you drop them off because they have something to focus on instead of being consumed with seeing you leave. They would have circle time and the teacher would take over. Don't get me wrong, there were still crying tantrum days... and that still happens for him going to preschool, but it is really just him pushing your buttons and trying to get what he wants.

I believe that working makes you a BETTER MOM!!!!!!! You are showing your kids that YOU matter too and that you are your own person. They grow up knowing that they are important and to do what makes them happy in life. I need to work. that's just my personality. I am a SAHM now, but i have a Scrapbooking business, Invitation business and i just got a PT job. :) i know... busy already with 2 kids and i just keep doing more. But it gives me my personal time and keeps me sane. :)

Good luck--sorry this is so long winded!! Let us know how it is going and feel free to email me anytime!!

-L.
http://www.designsbyleanne.com/handmade/
http://leanneesterly.stampinup.net

C.,

I understand what you are going through. I went back to work 6 weeks after I had my daughter. I was very lucky my mother is my full time babysitter. My daughter never cried when I dropped her off or anything. In the beginning I always told myself that I was a part time mom and only saw my daughter about 4-5 hours a day. I work 11:30-8. After my daughter turned a year when I would come home she would run and recognize me and it was the best feeling. My daughter would know that in the morning she is with grandma and at night she would always now that she goes home with mama. She never had stranger anxiety she is very nice to everyone it even gets scary sometimes. Trust me I spend alot of time with my daughter at the times I am available plus I have weekends off. My daughter would never want to go with any body but me and her grandparents. It gets better just be confident in yourself and you will be the best mom ever. My daughter is very spoiled because I feel that I don't see her enough and she gets what she wants and now I am noticing that was a mistake but I pray she will get over it

You're not the worse mom out there for going back to work - its unfortunate but not all of us can stay home. I went back after 10 weeks - it was HORRIBLE - but it will all be ok - its never going to be 100% easy. You will find good and bad in the situation and you will second guess yourself and blame yourself when things don't go perfectly - but the truth is, thats going to happen whether you are working or not. Look for the good, try to better the bad, but don't think you are the worst mom out there. If you give your son as much as you can and make the most of all the time you do have with him then you are not the worst mom - whatever you do, don't let work consume you anymore than it has to. As long as you are giving you're all - you will not be the worst mom. Good luck!

Dear C.!
I am crying while reading your request,cos I am going through the same. i have to go to work and really dont have other choice. i stayed home with my son for almost 2 years but he is not ready for daycare. I guess they will never be ready. But you know what? My mother left me with nanny since I was 3 month old and after I turn to 3 year old I went to daycare. I never thought about it like that .I mean I do remember daycare and all that staff. But the memories I cherish is my mother being home in the evening after work, with my brother . My best day of the week was Sunday-cos my mom was home and I really dont hold any bad memories from my childhood regarding that fact. I did wanted to stay with mother home and didnt wanted to go to daycare. But I felt that she loved us very much and was doing her best for us only and love her buck very very much. Believe me the way you sound you are really good mother and your baby will feel it and he will remeber that only. Even though nobody else will be able to provide compfort the way mommy do.But more important for them feeling that we love them .
I am telling you from my own expirience.
I wish you good luck and keep your head up.
have faith in God,he will protect your baby while you are not there.Look at the larger picture-how many orphants are there and ther parents will never come to pick them up from work. that is scary and really bad. Our kids will be fine.