So Mad and Hurt I Could Spit!

That is ridiculous! Did they think they sent you an invite? I'd make it clear how unhappy you are that you were not invited and that you would have loved to come had you known about it. I'd be upset too!

Calm the emotions by responding!

I would say simply: "Family reunion? What family reunion? This is the first I've heard about it,let alone declined the invitation!"

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It sounds like there is more to this story than what you know at this point.

I wonder if this is a case of "I thought Dad was telling her..."

"I thought Aunt SoAndSo was inviting her..."

"I though YOU were inviting her...." and so on and so on.

All of which makes me wonder if this was really a capital-letters "Family Reunion" or if this was just a get-together that materialized around your brother's trip out there: "Bob is coming out to visit for a week. Hey, while he's here anyway, let's all get together...."

As opposed to "You are cordially invited to a Family Reunion of all relatives on date X in Y months' time..."

If this were the latter, you would have known, I think. Your stepmom's comment sounds very offhand and casual, like either an attempt at a bad joke or a dig at you -- it's not clear if you have a positive relationship with her otherwise, just from reading your post, so only you know if it was a negative dig, a lousy joke, or if she'd actually be so very passive-aggressive as to arrange something formal and then intentionally not invite you and lie and say you had been invited.

In short: Find out what really happened -- or did not happen. Just ask. "You said (what she said). I never got any invitation to anything. Bob told me he was going out but didn't mention anything like a 'family reunion.' Was something formal planned that I should have known about, really? Or was it just a matter of folks getting together with Bob while he was there? Or did you/stepmom/aunts etc. get confused and maybe each thought the other had invited me?...." You may be stewing and hurt over nothing or you may have reason for a serious sit-down with stepmom and dad when you next see them. But it's impossible to tell from stepmom's one, offhand, weirdly casual comment. You'll have to ask -- but please do it when you are not "mad and sad" or you will get everyone's backs up. Wait until you are calm and then see what the response is.

You should have told your Step-Mom, that you did NOT know about the "Reunion" and NO ONE invited you, nor told you, at all.

Yes, I would have been mad/hurt, too.

I would get on the phone with your step mom and ask her who it was that told her you declined and find out exactly what they said. Then call that person. I would absolutely get to the bottom of this because clearly somebody did not want you there.

I'd call your dad and not scream and just say did you really have a family reunion and not invite me. What did I miss. Do not say that you got the note from the step mom. She will mess up again i'm sure so she is a good source of information. Also are you sure it was a family reunion. Who knows the lady may have no idea what she is talking about

I would of had a sigh of relief no damn reunion to go to.But for you your upset over this call your dad & ask him maybe your brother forgot to mention it, after all he's going through but then again who said that you declined to go?

Family reunions are usually planned a year or more in advance so there is time for everyone to save money and make sure they can go. This doesn't seem right that you are in contact with these people and no one even mentions it casually? Is it too late to go? Did they already have it? Seems like there should be more to the story but I would feel bad too.

Could it have been an innocent mistake?? Was it e-mailed? Mailed? Are you SURE you were shunned?? If so, just shake it off. I decided long ago that my friends are as much family as my "blood related" family. Keep near to those who love you. Life is too short not to.

Were you invited to go out there and just weren't told it was a reunion?

Allrightythen, maybe they dreamed they invited you?

Well you could do what I told my daughter today, stressing over it won't change the outcome. Meh, she thought it was sage advice.

Really you can't change what happened you can only take control of the future. So call them and nicely say I didn't get the invite. I would have loved to have had the chance to come so in the future could you call and make sure the invite made it.

That way it will never happen again. :)

I'd be upset too!! I would definitely call and ask exactly how you were invited, and exactly what you did to turn down the invite. Could it be possible that they sent you something in the mail and you didn't get it? Or a phone message that they thought they put on your phone # but got a wrong #? Just thinking of the possibilities. Why did you get an email from her after the fact instead of before? I'd think if she got your email address right the 2nd time she should have got it right the first time!! I'd tell her next time there is a party, you want a phone call and if she doesn't hear from you then maybe she needs to try again!! I'm sorry you are hurting!

You need to put your emotions aside for now......very hard, I know. Instead you need to call/email/whatever anyone and everyone you can so you can get to the bottom of what actually happened. You should not stop until you get answers from a bunch of people that match. Do not stop until you have your answer. And make sure everyone knows that you never received an invitation. Sorry. Families can be very cruel, that's for sure.

Why don't you just ASK your step mom about it about it instead of getting upset?
What if it's just a misunderstanding or lost invite that was never rsvp'd to?
ETA: just saw your "what happened" & glad you responded to the email :)

Can't you just say, "I never got it," and go?

Maybe it was a genuine mistake.

I'm sorry. It seems to be going around this week.

Why are you assuming that they didn't send you an invitation? For most people if you don't RSVP at all that means you DECLINED the invitation. Obviously they had no way of knowing that you didn't get the invitation. Rather than be mad and sad, how about you get to the bottom of things?

Make a PHONE CALL rather than rely on e-mail or text. Talk to your step-mom and tell her that you never received the invitation for the family reunion because if you had, you would have gladly attended. You need to make sure that they understand that and don't be accusatory about it. The fact is that you don't have enough of the story to be "hurt" about it yet. It sounds as if your step-mom is hurt, seemingly with good reason, so clear that up first and you'll realize it was all miscommunication.

*hugs* I don't have much to add other than to say see what the step has to say about your email...then call your dad and ask him about why you weren't invited and that you didn't hear anything about a family get together until she emailed and said "Sorry you couldn't come!"

Take a deep breath...it'll be ok hon.