So I Was "Spying" on My Daughter (Checking Her Browsing History......)

From what you're describing, it's a valid question that she was researching. The biggest problem I'm thinking of first off is that she can't foresee the ugly side of Google searches if there aren't strong filters being used.

I might be more concerned ??? (not quite the word, but I would be initiating some stronger parental controls) if she were looking up "Katniss and Peta sex scene" (think fanfic). I do think that it's appropriate to ask her some leading conversational questions. Hopefully she'll bring it up to you, but you do need to discuss safe web browsing with her. The words we choose to search online search engines with matter in the results we get. ;-)

I would not tell her you saw it because next she will Google "how to delete your browsing history" :)

I would make sure you have all the talks and yada yada with her about sex and such and chalk it up to curiosity.

http://www.fanpop.com/spots/peeta-mellark/answers/show/36...

That is the number one hit. It would seem this is a common question from fans. In full context it is about why, not did they have sex. I used to spend hours debating whats and whys in Harry Potter. The thing is you have limited access to the world the author creates, ya know, the books. So if you want to understand the world, create and debate alternate conclusions you have to fully understand the books beyond what the author provides.

She didn't actually do anything wrong. If you ask her why do you think Katniss and Peta had sex? She will have tons of answers for you and won't even consider hiding it from you.

To answer her question...yes, eventually they do :)

I would watch the history, and check it periodically. This really could be a one time thing for the time being. If you start to see more questions or things that really are inappropriate then I would approach the subject.

ETA..... after watching the first movie I had to know what happened so I bought the next to books. there is no sex in the books (spoiler) but at the end they do have children together. I think they are pretty tame for the most part and perfectly fine for an 11 year old.

I don't see why you consider that spying. I consider that supervising &/or monitoring. Which is part of my job.

As is "Dude! No bueno!" when I catch him doing something (at the time, or after the fact) that he's not supposed to be doing.

I'd probably let it ride but install monitoring software and maybe parental controls for keywords in searching. Maybe don't do it right away because she'll realize you discovered her search. But when you do start, I think you should talk with her about the limits you're setting on the computer and what you consider acceptable activity. Make the decisions together if you want her to have a way to "ask questions" about sex, without asking mom.

Good luck!

I volunteer at my son's public middle school library and the librarian mentioned that some kids go look up "abortion" and "street drugs." So yep, this is pretty normal. To look up taboo topics to try to learn more.

I remember Judy Bloom books being a big topic (early 80s) for the stuff she wrote about (periods, what have you). I never cared for her books.

But it would be nice for you to be able to talk to her openly. To encourage her to ask you any questions.

I have not personally read the Hunger Games. Just the first few pages/chapters and I couldn't stomach it. The adult content has to do with kids killing kids. I didn't realize Katniss slept with anyone. I know everyone is reading these books, but I am not a personal fan. Too dark for me.

DELETING GOOGLE HISTORY
some kids may be sharing that amongst themselves already. I know there are companies that will come in and prevent that, but I don't know who they are.

Sounds normal to me. I mean your kid knows what sex is, right? So at that age, who else are they going to be curious about that might be "doing it" or might have "done it"... certainly not their parents (EWWW! ) but fictional characters that they are interested in (books, TV, movies, even "real life" young celebrity couples).... Sure its fun for tweens to speculate on that and totally developmentally appropriate.

Kinda like when the big deal was whether or not Britney had sex with Justin Back in the day.... or not so far back in the day. Like for the 80's generation i remember an episode of Family Ties about Mallory! (maybe) losing her virginity. Or for those of my 90's generation Kevin Arnold and Winnie Cooper (did they? Didn't they?) on Wonder Years.

Are those characters in The Hunger Games? (I haven't read it or seen the movie --no interest--- but the names seem to ring a bell from media blurbs).
I'll be interested in your responses. I have an 11 yr old daughter, who just bought the first in the series at the school's book fair today. I did not realize it, but the receipt was labeled "item contains Mature Content".
What the heck?
I'm kinda wondering if maybe your daughter is reading the book and is trying to "cheat" and find out what happens? You know how some people skip to the end of the book and read the end early? (I hate that---I NEVER do that--then why bother with the rest of the book, ya know?)

Anyway---I'd bet it has something to do with curiosity about what is coming up the book getting the best of her. Maybe you could just ask her about what she is reading, if she likes it, if there is anything in it she doesn't understand or is confusing, etc. ?

My 15 and 16 year old i could see looking that up. My almost 11 year old, probably not. Each child is different. Just be prepared, if she is already that curious.... i would keep a close eye on what she is looking up. Then you can talk to her. (i agree, dont tell her about the history)

Have you read the books? It's a legit question to ask in regards to some of the scenes in the second book. It would be a simple "yes" or "no" answer, nothing graphic, so I would let it ride. I also don't think she was hiding it from you since she was in sight of you when she looked it up. If you haven't read the books, I suggest you do, you'll understand her "question" better. :)

It sounds pretty normal to me.
I'd just keep an eye on the browsing history so you have a heads up on what's going on in her mind.
I'd use what you know to try to bring up conversations on some of the topics while you have the chance... ya know, before she gets TOO smart and learns to hide it away.

And for the record, it seems to me Katniss didnt have time to have sex :)

I don't recall them having sex in the books so is this a fan thing? Wait...they had kids at end of last book so yeah, but no sex was mentioned....I would lean toward spying more before saying anything. I feel for you and I'm not looking forward to my oldest getting....older...

And can I just add, I think kids are reading those books way too young. Not because there is sex or because they would be traumatized, but it's like so many of them are missing the deeper points to the books because they're at that immature "tee hee" age.....just throwing it out there....I was moved by the books as an adult, and would have been also in my late teens to an extent, but as a pre-teen, I would have been in it for the teeny bopper sensationalism all the way.

Yes, that's about the age when I started getting very curious about just how all of this works! I think it's pretty normal and I would let it go unless it led her to a site where they used the characters likenesses to do some unsavory things (it's out there - we've had this problem with our son, now 16, for about 4 years). Parental controls should help. You can always block certain words if you are really freaked out - block "sex" and she won't be able to search on it at all. For us, we used the parental controls to put time limits on his usage. He can't use the computer until 6 PM when we will be home and looking over his shoulder or after 9 PM. It has helped but the truth is, they will find ways if they are really that curious. Have open, honest discussions about her curiousities so she learns the truth from you (but I would let this go as others have said - don't play the "history" card yet - she doesn't need to know you can check!).

Yep, it starts that young. Especially with all these movies. Twilight....Underworld...etc As far as Hunger Games, that is considered HS reading as it was on my youngests reading list freshman year. Regardless of them knowing about it or not, they come to know it through word of mouth and it invades their world. Just keep an eye on it and you start the conversation by any means possible......."I watched one of my talk shows today and they talked about the Hunger Games....did you read that book?"
I heard they were talking about some funny business going on with the main charachters, is that true"(or however you'd like to address it). Keep checking the browsing history, but slowly start to bring up the typical girl subjects and develop the comfort of communication between you and she. Good luck.