Snoring Husband - Traverse City,MI

Maybe that's why previous generations slept in separate rooms? I too have a husband who snores and has sleep issues. I have my own bed in another room. Sorry.

I have a book that gives supplement ideas that may help with Sleep Apnea. If you are interested email me and I will write out a list.

I'm a newly wed. My husband's first wife put him out of the room because of the snoring and their relationship just went downhill from there.

My husband's snoring can be bad but I have been studying this for a time now and I know a few things about him and the snoring.

1. Pillow position - he loves to prop up his pillow and tilt his head back (weird angle) but this causes loud and frequent snoring. (My defense is to make certain when I lay down that his pillow is flat.)

2. Multiple pillows - when he has mulitiple pillows he stacks them to get his head into "the position" which promotes maximum snoring. (My defense is the make certain he has only one fluffy pillow. With flat pillows, he puts his arm under the pillow to position his head.)

3. Sleep order - when he falls asleep he snores almost immediately and even more if he is exhausted. (My defense is to fall asleep before him. I try to get him to shower or wash dishes or something that will give me enough time to fall into a deep sleep before he comes to bed.)

4. Roll him over - if he does fall asleep before me and is snoring to the point I can't sleep, I get him to roll over. This usually stops the snoring and I can get some sleep.

All of these observations never would have come about had I made the choice to change rooms. So I would definitely suggest you get back in the bedroom with your husband and study him and learn what works for you both. My husband also occasionally uses that antisnoring spray which coats the throat and mouth to help fight against snoring. It is good too for a time. Also weight loss is helpful too. I'm working on that with my hubby too. I hope this helps.

Oh you just described my life a few years ago! My husband had apnea, and he could not keep the mask on either. His sleep specialist sent him to an ENT and he had surgery. Tonisils out, deviated septum fixed, and his uvula tightened (sounds so dirty-but it is that thing that hangs down in the back of your throat.) It was not a fun surgery, but it was what he needed. He no longer snores, and the apena is gone. It would have been better to be less invasive witht he cpap, but it just would not work for him. He feels great, and I sleep better than I have in the 20 years we have been married!

M.

Hi S.---How about asking your husband to make sure that his life insurance is in order? I sort of joke here to make a point. Sleep apnea has a direct effect on cardiovascular health. Studies show that apnea is a indicating risk for heart disease.

It is hard for most people to make changes. I can't imagine how weird it would be to have to wear that machine all night. But, like most everything that we do, he WILL get used to it in time.

Sit down and have an honest discussion. Tell him how his actions make you feel. I can't believe he doesn't want you in your bed with him. My husband wouldn't stand for it. What would he be willing to do to help you sleep well, in the same bed as him? As others have suggested, would he go to more doctors and see if there are some physical issues causing the sleep apnea?

My biggest concern and argument would center on the fact that his apnea will gradually impact his heart. Is increasing his risk of heart disease something that he wants to do to you and your family? I would hope not.

How are his energy levels during the day? It is related to the lack of oxygen during the night.

Here are some articles for you to read and share with your husband. I'm sure there are more out there, but I think this might be enough for you to mount a compelling argument. http://www.realage.com/srch/RASearch.aspx?catno=-1&m=...

Be lovingly patient in your arguments. Otherwise you will just have to decide on what you are willing to live with, for your own sanity. What is that definition of insanity? I think, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

Good luck. I pray that your husband realizes that his sleep apnea is a family problem, and that not wearing his mask is a decision that, in time, affects the entire family. D.

Went through the same thing - snoring AND restless leg syndrome. Sometimes I moved to a different room, sometimes I kicked him out, but it was never happy. Now, after we've been divorced, he got and wears a CPAP machine. He can't believe the difference it makes, not just for nights, but he can now stay awake during the day and feels so much better!

He needs to use the machine! Check with his doctor to see if there are still more options for masks or machines. Sleep apnea is dangerous to his health and dangerous to your marriage.

Did they say WHAT is causing his sleep apnea? What type of Dr. diagnosed him? Has he been to an ENT for this? Reason I ask is because this sounds just like my husband! It wasn't until he went to an ENT and that Dr. figured out WHAT was causing the sleep apnea. Sleep apnea is caused by something and not just something like colic that "just happens but we don't know why" type of thing. For my husband the ENT discovered that when he lays down his back of his throat just past the the roof of your mouth where it gets soft becomes very floppy and would shut off his airway. The ENT did surgery and where your uvula is he used a laser to trim it away. It helped TREMENDOUSLY! Another factor is snoring is WEIGHT. Is he overweight? Alcohol also makes snoring really bad as it causes the back of the throat area to become floppy even if you don't have the above stated problem as it relaxes the muscles. The proper pillow can help too! If you go to a Sleep Number demo store (they have them in the malls) they have different pillows and some depending on your sleep position they might need an insert for it which makes the pillow totally customized for you. If a head is too low or too high when you sleep causing your neck to not be aligned with your body as if you were standing up that will also cause snoring. So I guess from all the above stated go through and see which things apply to him and hopefully I have guided you in the right direction of getting is resolved. Snoring is sooooo annoying to the people who just want sleep!

I do not think the proper solution is for you to be sleeping with your 5 year old son!!! This is going to become a habit for him and when you do decide it is time to move back into your own bedroom, your son is going be the one with the sleep problems!!!
I also think that this is a sign of a deeper problem in your marriage. I think that the two of you need to sit down an discuss this calmly and lovingly, do some research on the dangers of sleep apnea and go at it from the angle that you want your husband to be healthy and well rested. My husband and I have both been snorers at various times through the years. I always remind myself of a dear friend who's husband ( who was one of those that snored like a freight train moving through the bedroom!!) passed away unexpectedly. She said she would give ANYTHING to hear that horrible snoring coming from his side of the bed again. You have to keep everything in perspective.

using a humidifier helps my husband not snore, although he doesn't have sleep apnea. Does he know he'll die much earlier if he doesn't wear his cpap? Or have the surgery. He's straining his heart, his body, it's not a matter of comfort it's a matter of life and death.

Good luck, oh and I agree with the person who said they'd stop sleeping with their son now...he'll defintely have sleep problems once you do if you wait to long.

I too have severe sleep apnea or so I have been told and cannot wear the CPap machine. I am investigating surgery to help with the apnea. Not all people can benefit from the surgery and an ENT doctor needs to make that decision. I will not be cured with surgery, but the ENT physician says it will help. I just feel very claustrophobic with the mask on and the air blowing into me. I get the feeling that I am going to suffocate. I even have a small mask that just goes into my nostrils. I can feel for you husband. My husband has used the CPap machine for 10+ years now and has never had an issue with it. My sleep physician says there are some people who just cannot use one. Good Luck.

TBH I would kid him out of the bed, if he doesn't want to wear the mask to sleep then he can sleep on the couch. Maybe that might change his mind a bit.

Other than that I have no other suggestions for you. I snore a lot because of allergies but my hubby is a heavy sleeper.

Good luck!

Somehow he has to be convinced that his life is in danger and he must adjust to this mask. I have slept with a CPAP for the last few years and I still dislike it but it is necessary. I have lost over 100 lbs on Wt. Watchers and am hopeful that, when I am re-tested, they may say I don't need it anymore. It is hard to adjust to but I had to change my whole attitude. My doctor daughter convinced me that I was probably damaging my heart by resisting. Maybe a talk with the doctor. It cannot be because the snoring annoys you. It has to be that he accepts this to save his life. My friend's much younger son died from apnea a couple of years ago and that really surprised me. I've heard of others who have too. It's serious business - not breathing! They said I stopped more than 100x during the 6 hrs I was at the sleep clinic, and I was completely unaware of it - completely! I thought everyone was making this up because my snoring annoyed them. Maybe telling him how much you and your son love him and want him around - kind of an intervention perhaps involving other family members or even friends - would help. I finally agreed to wear it a few hours at a time until I could stand to wear it all night. That put me in control of it, and that helped me be less rebellious about it. it is a royal pain but it can save your life for sure! Does he believe his life is worth saving? He needs to think on that.

You can try those nose strips. My husband uses them when he snores.
And put in some ear plugs!

I second K.M., he has a CPAP machine, and is choosing not to wear the mask for comfort reasons...his problem! Make him sleep somewhere else...My husband is finally getting insurance this week with his company, and he is already setting up his sleep study to get his CPAP machine...and you better bet your butt that if he chooses not to use his CPAP machine, he'll be sleeping somewhere else. I have a serious medical condition that makes me prone to seizures if I don't get enough sleep, and so I"m very anal about his snoring, where I will wake him up.

S., sadly in my marriage I am the one who snores. :( Can you wear ear plugs? My husband is a musician so his hearing is something that he is very sensitive to. As a result, he can't wear ear plugs to bed because it makes him feel deaf. I am curious though, is your husband over weight by any chance? I can tell you that my snoring is much worse when I am over weight and I went to an ENT that looked into sleep apnea as well. He said the same exact thing...that if I wanted to take care of it, I needed to lose weight. I am pregnant right now so I can't do much about my weight other than try to control my weight gain, but I can tell you that in 3 months when the baby is born, I am going to be starting a program. My husband is getting ready to start the program next week himself.

I agree with K M that I'd make him find somewhere else to sleep since he's disturbing you, but the real issue is the sleep apnea and his refusal to wear the CPAP. It could honestly have a serious effect on his health because he's not getting the oxygen he's needing like normal people.

I know there are some alternatives that have been introduced lately to CPAP machines, but I don't know what they are. It may be worth him calling his physician to see what else is available (or even if a different machine is the answer).

We have friends, the husband is 33, who had to go to a CPAP, and it completely eliminated his snoring.

My husband's a snorer, but it's because he broke his nose in high school, never had it properly reset and is overweight. We've tried pillows, breathe right strips, nasal steroids. All work at times, but this is a much different issue with your husband and his sleep apnea.

Good luck!

my husband wears his CPAP...he also likes to have a small fan on his nightstand blowing on him. I bought him a pillow made for CPAP ...it has some contours, and he says it's much more comfortable than a regular pillow. Maybe that would help...
good luck!
D.

My hubby snores like a freight train. Although we've tried the strips, sprays, etc and he did a sleep study and was declared apnea-free ( I don't believe that!) I think my next move is O. of those silicone mouth guards (like football players wear). I hope it works!