About 3 years ago my oldest daughter got her first cell phone. She was 12 but she was starting to spend more and more time at activities and it became needed. She has had the same phone for all of those three years. It still works fine, amazingly and it has been very useful to us. Her birthday was last month and she asked for a lot of different things as it got close but smart phone only came up once or twice so my husband and I didn't see fit to even consider it. Now however just 5 weeks later she has said all she wants for christmas is an iPhone.
To be honest my husband and I are both torn on this because there is no solid reason for us to tell her no. She has her own laptop, and shares an iPad with her sister so she is well exposed to the internet and has proven herself responsible, we already have a good family plan with unlimited family data so it would change our bill. I just don't feel like she has a good reason for wanting one either? She is 15 and trains 36 to 40 hours a week for gymnastics that is her job right now and it doesn't have a need for a smart phone. She has of course come up with all sort of creative reasons about how she could do her online classes at the gym during her breaks and that we could sell her old phone to put the money towards a smart phone and if all she gets is a $100 phone for xmas it will be much cheeper than her sister or brothers gifts but I still just feel it is unneeded. Your opinions would be lovely.
I find this question very puzzling.
Maybe the reason that you can find any reason to tell her no is because there aren't any?
Get it.
My husband is still using a flip phone. He doesn't really care about getting an upgrade, but he is starting to text more (now that our kids have phones... imagine that), and he is the only one of us without a smartphone. It takes him 4 x as long to send a text. And you can't read them as a conversation. It's very frustrating for him sometimes. He will begin to reply to a text and get interrupted by another text and his phone automatically stops what he is doing and requires him to input an instruction about saving his work as a draft or whatever. Annoying as heck. And for the person waiting for a reply as well. (I've been that person).
Not to mention, if your daughter is 15, she will soon be learning to drive, right? Now's a good time to get her practicing directions and mapping routes when you go places. And having apps for where the closest gas station is will be pretty relevant when she gets her license. (I have a 16 yr old, so I'm familiar with this territory a little bit).
She can begin navigating your trips (local and non-familiar territory) using google maps or whatever on her phone.
And really... why not? I mean... She's responsible, obviously. I understand the "just because" feeling a little weird. But if she's a good kid, why can't you just give her something nice without it having so much meaning attached to what you are teaching? It sounds like she is a quick study and has learned a lot already. :)
Good job, Mama. Now spoil her one of the last few times you can... it goes by so quickly.
With my kids, if I don't have a clear reason for saying "no", I don't say "no". I don't like saying "no" simply because "I'm the mom and I said so". This way, my kids know that when I DO say "no" there's a reason and they don't argue with it.
I will say that I'm biased towards smartphones. My daughters (12 and 13) both have iPhones. When they're out, our main way of contacting is iMessage (free, btw, between iPhones). My parents, who live overseas, also have iPhones...kiddos can communicate with their grandparents with iMessage also (again, free, even internationally). My girls keep track of their schedules (calendar), can check email (that's how they communicate with their teachers outside of school), take pictures and listen to music. All one device, no need for a phone AND an iPod. My girls wrote an essay explaining why getting an iPhone was a good idea for them. They were convincing, we got them their own phones and it's been a great decision for our family.
You simply need to do what's best for YOUR family. There's no correct answer here. It sounds like your daughter really wants a smartphone, and probably deserves getting something she really wants. She's a good kid, right? Hard worker? Committed? Responsible? Sometimes it's ok to give our kids things they really want but don't necessarily need.
For goodness sake. Give her a smart phone. It doesn't have to be the most expensive one either. I have an S4 and it cost me less than a dollar and some points we earn by paying our bill on time each month.
My hubby has a Note 3. He paid something like $1.99 for it and 10K points.
She has shown you she's responsible and is a good kid. There's no reason not to get her one other than you just don't want to. If she quit gymnastics and went to work in a real job she could buy what she wanted.
If that's all she wants let her have it!
We've used IPhones since they first came out several years ago. I believe my daughter was in 9th grade at the time. She's 19 now.
Hubby and I currently have the 5 and daughter got the 6 the day it came out.
We love them. I can run my company from my phone. No need to take my laptop with me. In high school, daughter used an APP for a special calculator $5 vs a $125 calculater from Staples.
You've got pros and cons and some parents just don't want their children to have phones or smart phones. You just do what's best for your family.
Sounds like you have a pretty responsible daughter. Our decision was also based on our daughter being responsible and maintaining her grades. She was also in cheer and routinely had practice for about 3 hours a day and more when it was closer to competition time.
For us, her job is her education and grades. Her phone is a reward for maintaining those and being responsible.
if you have the money, it's not going to affect your mobile bill and that's what she wants? Get it for her.
Stop looking for reasons NOT to. You've already provided reasons why you should.
G.
Why not ask her why she wants it? You stated she has given you a reason - to do her on-line classes. Okay - then why does she have the lap top?
Both my boys have Droids. We don't do Apple products here.
Personally if that's all she wants? She's proven to be responsible and she respects your rules?? I would buy it.
I would probably get her a smartphone unless you had a really good reason not to. Within reason, I think Christmas gifts are a fun time to get things that you ordinarily wouldn't get yourself.
I would absolutely not hold her to using the phone to do her on-line classes. I couldn't even imagine using a tablet for that. If you do decide to get her the phone, please encourage her to continue using her laptop for her on-line classes. The screen on a phone is much too small to use for her needs.
Is she able to get on-line at the gym (wi-fi through the gym, perhaps)? If she is not already able to get on-line while she's at the gym, she could use her phone as a "hotspot" and connect her laptap through her phone. I've done that before, and it is really nice to be able to connect my laptop anywhere I have phone service. Some places don't have free wi-fi.
It might change your bill because some carriers charge more per month on a smart phone vs basic phone. I know ATT charges $20 a month and a smart phones cost $40 so although the data is umlimited the plan cost is more.
However that said it would be easier for her to do on line classes on a tablet not a cell phone because of the screen size so that's not a valid reason. Her real reason is that she just wants it. No different than a kid asking for a new Thomas the Tank Engine set when he/she already has 1 that works perfectly well. I'd probably get her the phone and keep the other one in case something happens to another phone in the family. She's 15 and has shown good judgement.
If you get her a slightly older model (I mean, you don't have to get her the iPhone 6, right?), it should be almost free since she's had her existing phone for 3 years and is due for an upgrade. My 12 year old has an iPhone 5S (it had been my husband's, but he upgraded to the 6 and handed his phone down to her). It has been great for her since she spends so much time at the ballet studio between dance classes and rehearsals - she can reach me via FaceTime, text, or phone, she can put on her headphones and listen to music or watch a movie, play games to entertain herself during long rehearsals, and so on. Before this, she had a "dumb phone" with only phone capabilities, and honestly, trying to use her phone on the rare occasions when I needed to just aggravated the heck out of me. I kind of think that if you have access to good technology for a reasonable price, there's no good reason not to do it.
eep! changing my original response because i missed that her current phone isn't a smart one. however, my overall feeling is the same. she's been responsible with a regular cell phone, hasn't abused her home internet privileges, and is apparently a hard worker. 40 hours a week of training in addition to school is almost alarming!
clearly it's not big need, but i can totally understand it being a big want. and since she's upholding her end of the deal by being a good 15 year old who hasn't abused the technology privileges you've granted her, why balk here?
khairete
S.
if she really wants it, why not just get it for her?
fyi, check out deals on black friday. we picked up free refurbs. You may be able to get her a free or very discounted phone.
I would not give up that unlimited data plan for anything. It happened to me. New phone and unbeknownst to me my u limited data went. OMG I fought to get it back because no one told me. Would not do it. I have to be so careful!!! For that reason alone, she should keep phone.
I wouldn't get my kids a smart phone because it would cost $70 a month for a data plan. I won't even get them a dumb phone because it would cost $30 a month. I would let them have them if it weren't so cost prohibitive. They have iPods. If, as you say, getting cell service for your daughter will not cost any extra, then I don't see why not, as long as she doesn't turn into one of those zombies I see who never look away from their phones. I would make rules for her, such as no phone at the dinner table, no phone in class etc.
Our youngest has an iPhone but he bought it with his money. I added him to my plan because it was cheaper to add him to my existing plan than to add him to hubby's plan. My plan has more minutes per month for phone calls and unlimited texts. One month after he graduates it will be his responsibility to pay for his phone service the $50 a month plus any over charges that apply to his phone as it relates to his data usage. He has NEVER gone over his usage and neither has our oldest son.
I'm of a mind that smart phones are for the smart people who can pay for them. LOL. The neices and nephews that were living with me in their teens all got their own smart non iPhones phones with a cheaper service. They still pay for their own phones but they are in their 20's now. LOL
