Sleepovers - Blue Ridge,GA

At about 2-4 for family, around 5-6 for friends, that I knew really well, and 7-8 for friends that I only knew the parents a little. I did make an effort before hand to chat it up a little, I feel within the first few minutes you usually get a good feel for the person. For me, so far, it's worked out well.

My kids slept at their relatives' houses from nearly the beginning.
For friends, I was in kindergarten when I started sleepovers but my parents were good friends with hers. My kids were closer to 10 when they started,

1) it is up to you and what age you feel okay allowing it.
2) Sleepovers can be at YOUR home... or your child's friend's home.
3) For me at least, I ONLY allow my daughter (she is the oldest and is 10 year old), to go to a GOOD friend's house, in which I ALSO KNOW THE parents/Mom/family/siblings, very well.
4) My youngest is 6. Sure he asks if he can go on sleepovers too like his big sister. We tell him No. He is too young. He understands.
5) My daughter, had her first sleepover when she was turning 8. But it was for her Birthday and it was at OUR home. The invited was just like 4-5 other girls who were GOOD consistent friends of her's... and which, we ALSO knew the friends and their family, well.
Then... from when she was about 9... she went to her GOOD friend's homes, for sleepovers. These again, are her GOOD friends which we also know well and their family... and which we have ALSO been to their home too... socially. So we know, their home environment.

6) I personally... would NOT send my kids to a play-date or sleepover... if I do not know, the parents or what their home is. Not at all. AND if it is a play-date... I only would send my kids to another person's home... if I also had been there before and KNOW, the Mom/family and what their level of responsibility is and their level of supervision.
ie: my daughter had been invited to a girl's home before. But I said NO. Why? Because, the Mom is known to NOT supervise her own child very well, much less when there are friends over. I know this, personally. And my daughter even, has also said "Mommy, Sally's Mom isn't very responsible... she just lets her kid go wherever and doesn't even know...she doesn't even watch them when they are in the pool...."

Then, I also know a woman, who's niece went to a sleepover party. They were about Middle School aged. She said that, in the middle of the night her Niece called home to want to be picked up. Why? Because, during the evening other people came over that were friends with those parents. And during the night, one of the men... went to where the girls were sleeping (which was in a den like room). Well, that man started to touch, the Niece. So as you can imagine... this was traumatizing. For all. And a case for the Police.

USE your Mommy radar.
Don't just let... your child go to a sleep over or for a play-date if you have any reservations about it, even if... your child is "pressuring" you or saying "all my friends do it, why can't I?"

With ANY sleepover that my daughter has, I TELL the parents and their child, that they can use our phone to call home or the parents can call me ANY TIME OF NIGHT, even if it just to say goodnight.
And they can drop by. Anytime. There is nothing to hide.
AND when my daughter goes to a friend's home... her friend's parents are the same way. Accessible, no matter what hour.

My boys have slept over at other friends and family member's houses since they were toddlers. I'm in the military and that's just the way it is sometimes.

As for sleepovers at THEIR friend's homes, I think their first one was at about age 6 or 7. I ensure that I've met the parents, visited their home, and have spent time with their child on at least one occasion prior to the sleepover.

They did it with family (cousins) and good family friends from the time they were 3 or 4, with school friends it started around 7 or 8.
Even if I wasn't really "friends" with the parents I was usually familiar with them from school or sports or scouts or whatever.

When you and your child are comfortable. Know the parents, have their child over for one at your home first. Don't feel pressured or allow your child to be, either.

My daughter started sleepovers in Kindergarten. She had playdates from an infant up weekly and sometimes daily with friends.

I always knew the parents and I was not uptight about her spreading her wings a bit. We have to let go eventually so I took a lot of baby steps.

I think there were sleepovers every weekend. As she got older, more children preferred to sleep over here because my daughter has the entire 2500SF upstairs to herself. So there was plenty of safe things to do and the other parents also knew that children were well supervised here.

The summer of the 3rd and 4th grade, she went to sleepaway camps for a week and in 5th grade, it is in our school curriculum that they go for a week in the fall to a camp which has a lot of exploring, activities, etc.

I would shudder to think she had never slept over somewhere and I just throw her out to the wolves for a weeklong camp for her first time.

Our daughter, now almost 18, has always been independent and confident and sleepovers were just part of her personality. I still have girls here almost every weekend.

They grow up way too fast. You have to strike a balance with what is right for your family and there is no set age. I refused to raise my daughter in bubble wrap because I've seen what happens to the children who are raised that way when they finally get some "freedom" to explore, discover, and find themselves.

Start with playdates and be comfortable with the other mom and progress to sleepovers if your daughter is ready and wants to go. Don't hold her back due to your fears.

Good luck!

you dont say how old your kid is or their personality or temperment.

all of that is a factor for M..

my daughter has been sleeping over cousin's houses since she was 3, but at 6 still hasnt slept over a purely friends house..although there are a few friends that are like family so that may be next.

I think next year when she;s 7 she'll be ready. if she slept better now i'd say now.

My daughter started just this year at age 8. She's only had two with her very very best friend, who I love to pieces. And I love her family and know them well. My daughter is a cautious kid so I feel like if she is ready and I know the family well, it's fine.

My son is 7 and not even close to being ready for a sleep over.

For both of my girls they were 7. (Of course they had sleepovers with cousins before that, but school friends, it was 7.)

If I do not know the parents well. My kids did not stay over ever. If it was a Birthday party sleepover. I would let them go to the party and then pick them up. I am not comfortable with sleepovers, never have been. The age that my son first tried to stay over was around 9 and I got the call around 10pm to go get him, next time the call was later. I decided no sleep overs. He is now 13 and stays the whole time.

It's funny you ask this question, because we are having a sleepover tomorrow night and the guest list is mostly kids whose parents I haven't met (we are new to the school). The day I sent out the invitations, I said to my neighbor "who's gonna send their kid to sleep at a stranger's house?" And I was right, because the only kids coming are the ones whose parents I have managed to meet. I should mention that my daughter is 10, which I think is old enough to be on their own, but also old enough to get into some shenanigans. It's a fine line.

I think now that I've been on this side of the fence, if I was in the same situation, I would at least do some due diligence and at least try to meet the parents or get some info on them. And if I didn't feel comfortable for any reason, I'd let her go for the party but not let her sleep over.

My son was 6 when he started non-family sleepovers, but it was with a family that we are very close to. He was 7 (2nd grade) before he slept at a school friends house and I got to know the Mom pretty well before I allowed it.

My daughter let me know when she was ready, but she's an only child and was always ready to sleep at someone else's house where there were other children. The more children the better. However, as she has gotten older, I make it a point to meet the parents and to get to know them. Not that this is a sure fire way to weed out the crazies, but it makes me feel better. I try to at least visit their home to see the environment they live in. And I always ask who lives in the home. Don't want to send my child over a friend's house where the relative on house arrest is staying temporarily. I think it is very important to know who lives in the house. I even chat it up with the kid/friend to learn more about her family.

When my daughter hosted her first sleepover at age 11, I sent out a letter to the parents of the kids invited. Most I knew, some I did not. I introduced myself and my husband and basically gave them a run-down on us, provided a timeline of activities, invited them to come with their child and asked if they would like to come to our house beforehand. I just threw it all out there because I was nervous about the kids coming for the first time. Now most people are NOT going to do this. It turned out just fine. The parents rolled up, dropped the kids off and left.

It is just a point you have to get to in your own time. We also have a password/phrase that she can use to alert me to an issue or a problem that she is having while at someone else's house. So, I do keep in touch with her while she is away.

My daughters (and son now) let me know when they were ready. Way before they even asked or were asked, my hubby and I talked with them many times about what's appropriate at other people's houses... Follow their rules, be polite, what sleeping arrangements were acceptable, what kind of affection is right, etc.... One thing that helped me feel better was to get them their own sleeping bags/pillows, so they would have their own private sleeping spot. (Sad to have to go to that, but these days....).

Also, how else do you become friends with these parents? Why not invite the kids over for play dates and let the parents know that they, too, are invited to come pick up their kid(s) a little early so you can have some coffee, tea, whatever with them, so you can get to know each other better.... Worked well for us.

Also, if your kid(s) go for a play date, ASK QUESTIONS about the home, parents, foods, drinks, visitors, activities, how they feel when they are visiting. Kids love to talk about their experiences, so encourage it! :)

If your child gets back and says that she doesn't want to go again, gently "prod" and ask why and never force them to return...

Just my thoughts and experiences.

Thank gooddness for Sarah and Robert's response. I was thinking that this may be a cultural difference. I am African-American and we allow relatives to keep a NEWBORN if they desire!

As to the friends issue of sleepovers, I allowed it around age 8 when I felt my son would be able to tell me if anything went awry.

My almost 14 year old just started last year. And I know the mother. If I didn't there would be no way. My youngest never has which now I am worried cause he's got to go to a camp type setting at the end of next month for 4 days with out me. There will only probably be 3 people that he knows there. But I think kids start having sleep overs much too early.

My 6 YO can sleep over at her cousins only. I honestly don't know if I will ever allow her to sleep over at a friend's house. But they can all sleep over here! I like my kid at home.

My kids have been going on sleepovers and hosting sleepover since they were about four. They don't normally go for a sleepover at a home until they have been to the home to play several times, and I of course meet the family when they start going over to play. They have always felt comfortable in the homes of their friends, and neither of my boys have any sort of sleep issues or seperation problems.

They also started attending week long sleepaway camp when they were seven.

My daughter was more of a momma's girl when she was young and would go to friend's and then want to sleep at home. She started some limited sleepovers at close friends at 7, but more consistent at 10 and then 12. Now, at 14 they have sleepovers probably once/month or more.

Read her cues. You want to encourage her to be able to be away from you as long as you know the parents. And if SHE's the one who's not ready, just be prepared to go pick her up.

I don't know if I will for awhile. You can do it whenever your child seems ready or wants to. The only people who have kept my kids overnight were when it was an emergency and I was in the hospital. I can see my kids sleeping over eventually at their best friend's houses, but not anyone from school etc. I think 9 or 10, they may be ready. We will see. Have alot of years to go :)