repeat this to yourself
it
is
not
a
bad
habit
fulfilling the needs of your son is NEVER EVER a bad habit. there is NO SUCH THING as a bad habit when you follow your baby's cues and your instincts. dont let ANYONE tell you otherwise, and believe me, they will. the point is NOT to follow someone else's ideas of how a baby should behave, but to follow your son's needs and cries. there is NOTHING WRONG WITH GIVING HIM A BOTTLE AT NIGHT. instead of trying other things, do that first, and get it over with and go back to sleep. the most content babies, the ones with the best sleep habits are the ones who have their needs fulfilled no matter what those needs are!!
first of all babies have tiny tummies! theres no way they can go all night without being hungry. teaching him to ignore those hunger pains with result in a scewed idea about food and hunger and listening to his body's cues. just go with it. it wont take very long and he wont get so hungry anymore... trust me, you wont trade one sleepless night for ANYTHING when you see your son so confident in you fulfilling his needs. the same thing with crying, you dont teach self soothing, you nurture it. you dont teach anything by force. put it this way, you dont teach a child how to walk by putting him up on his feet and making him walk on his own - why would you put a child in bed and make him go to sleep on his own! its scary to a baby! only you know when it is ok for your son, but babies are NOT developmentally ready for any amount of crying alone until they are around a year old. my son was 11 months old. you just KNOW. the cry changes. the more you listen to it and respond to it, the easier it will be to know when it changes.
second, sleep will not ever be the same. even when they grow up and leave the house, you will lie awake wondering what they are doing, where they are, if they are ok... once you have kids, face it, there is sleep, but its never going to be as good as kid free sleep. not ever. this is not said to scare you as much as inform you that you will have to alter your sleep needs some other way such as going to bed earlier, taking a 20 minute nap, getting up later and cutting out time consuming portions of your morning. also remember that sleeping to much will result in the same feeling as sleeping too little. if i get more than 8 hrs of sleep, im a wreck. if i get less, im a wreck. if i get almost exactly 8 hrs, i feel great. find out what works for you and find out how to get it.
my situation with my son was a bit different, we nursed, and we did a lot of night nursing. it worked so well because i just latched him on and we both went back to sleep. you can do this with a bottle, it helps if he is already in your room, then you dont have to go very far, you can just give him the bottle, then go back to sleep. the less you have to do to get him the bottle, the better. the less lights you have on, the better.
anyway, trust me mom, you will feel MUCH more confident in your parenting skills if you ignore doctors, friends, parents, inlaws advice and trust YOUR instincts. trust you son's ability to express his needs through crying. NEVER ignore that. the ONLY EXPERTS on your son are you and your husband. instinct and loving parenting trumps any advice in the world.