Sleeping Phases

M.,

You know I think it's really just about meeting your child's needs and doing what you think is best for your baby.

My son and I co-sleep, and I have loved it. Now that he's older (2.5) he sleeps some nights on his cot but usually ends up in my bed. And, that's okay with me. But, again it's just me...so, I would make sure you and hubby are on the same page.

It could just be a phase (like Susan mentioned), but if you're looking to have your little guy sleep in his crib, then you need to be consistent with that routine and guide him away from sleeping with you. Again, it's got to be what you are comfortable with.

Good Luck!

Everytime one of my boys would teeth, get sick or just need extra hugs, he would end up in bed with us. This "phase" would get old for us after about the third night. Then, we would have to retrain him to sleep again in his own bed. There would be tears, the "My bed is SO uncomfortable" arguments or "You get to sleep together, why not me too?" All pull on our heartstrings, but kids need to learn to sleep by themselves and parents need to have a good night's sleep just to be able to deal properly with the demands of life.

I know I will get blasted for this, but I don't think it is healthy for kids to sleep in bed with their parents on a regualr basis. I think it leads to dependency issues and it certainly is not healthy for the parent's sex life. I KNOW I just don't sleep well too close to others and three in our bed is too much. I know so many moms who can't go out with their girlfriends because their kids can't go to sleep without them. Even dad was not enough for some of them! How sad that they could not even enjoy a one night out with their husbands or friends until after 9:00. By then, some of us were ready to call it a night! Do yourself a HUGE favor and let your kids learn that sleep is a wonderful thing, their beds are a refuge from the world, and it is wonderful to be alone once and a while with your own thoughts. Good luck!

Yes, they go through MANY phases.
So it might be.
Or, sometimes they are this way when they are sick, or teething, or experiencing 'separation anxiety' etc.
Usually, when they need you for some reason. And, also as they are changing developmentally.

So, the thing for you is, whether this is okay with you and him and Hubby. Or, do you want/need him to sleep back in his crib? Is it a "problem" or not? If not, then perhaps he can just co-sleep with you. Some say this is a 'bad' habit... others say it is no problem at all. As children naturally grow out of it. In some cultures, this is all they do. Kids grow up fine and are perfectly well adjusted.

I think most Moms can relate to this. But they all deal with it differently....depending on, if it is considered by you to be a "problem."

And yes, you are pregnant... this IS a major thing for a child. So, they can often react in different ways...such as being more clingy, or fussy or not. So, main thing is for you to not make it a 'bad' thing or scold him for it...but rather to help him feel safe and comfy and secure about the whole thing. His whole world as he knows it will change when baby comes home... so an 'eldest' child needs extra attentiveness at this time... and after the baby arrives. Remember, a young child does not have 'coping skills' to deal with changes or 'stress'...so we have to help them.. .and sometimes they just want and need to be closer to Mommy.

All the best,
Susan

Hi there,
I have a book (as an attachment) that I can email to you. Another Mamasource mom was nice enough to email to me.
Read it and see if it will work for family. I am using it right now (only 2 days in) So far, there has been a whole lot of crying. But, I need to be patient and wait a few more day to see how it is working.
My email is
____@____.com
Feel free to email me soon!
Good luck!

There are many ways to look at this, it's a very personal thing... If you think about, if you were a baby, what better place is there to sleep than mom and dad's arms? On the other hand... The baby will get his or her parents to do what they want. When we had something similar with our son, we tried to keep a sort of middle-ground, and help it be "just a phase". That means we'd let him sleep with us a bit but then would put him in his crib, there was a lot of back and forth sometimes, and sometimes he did stay with us, but we tried to balance his needs, as a baby, and ours. Since you have another baby on the way, you might want to not give in too much, and you'll see that there are lots of "phases" just like this one. But not that long for now, there will be another little one in your household and you don't have 4 arms so... That said, eveyone's different, we were not completely comfortable with co-sleeping, but not against it either. just know, to use another example, that if I'd "listened" to all of my son's desires, he would have fed every 2 hours every night until he was 3... Instead, he "did" his nights pretty quickly, which made for a happier, altogether well-rested family.

Be careful they are little and certainly know how to make mom on there side. I love nothing more than to hold a sleeping baby, just not to often. It is easier to teach a habit than change one.