Sleeping Issues After Taking the Pacifier Away.

I had this same problem with my now 4 year old (the paci was taken away at around 14 mos). We didn't have the option of giving it back to her, as her favorite paci wore out and this particular paci had been discontinued. She would have NO substitutes.
One thing we did (and still do!) is lie in bed with her and lightly stroke her back and hair and play soft music. Usually, this puts her right out in about 5 minutes or so. But then you have to master the art of getting out of bed undetected. :)
I have to say it was a struggle after the paci went away at first and got better slowly as time when on, but this ended up working best for us. I hope this helps you!

So what do you think you will do if she continues to stay awake for a while? Give her paci back? Let her come in your room and sleep? Sit in her room until she goes to sleep? All of that would be just as bad as the habit of sucking on a paci...

She doesn't yet really understand that you mean business about her not coming out of her room - that's my take here, because you seem unsure about what to do here. So what you really need to do is to ignore that she is not yet asleep> By ignoring it, she gets no reinforcement staying awake. All you do is take her immediately back into her room without saying a word, and close the door behind her. EVERY TIME. Don't take her to her bed. Just to the door and then close it. If she lays down in the floor, that's fine. She will eventually sleep in the most comfortable place in the room, which is the bed.

Don't allow her to sleep later in the morning. If she fusses, you tell her that she needs to go to sleep when she goes to bed so that she isn't sleepy in the morning. And leave it at that.

She WILL eventually start SELF-SOOTHING. The paci has done this for her for 3 years. You can't expect success overnight at her learning to do this on her own after 3 years of something else putting her to sleep. Let her learn. It's best for all of you.

i wouldn't have taken the pacifier yet. or i'd have done the cut-a-little-off-the-tip thing and done it gradually.
but done is done, and while i don't think a pacifier is the devil, it would probably be counter-productive to give it back.
so pick your battles, and understand that learning how to sleep without it will take a little time. don't tolerate her walking out of her room. silently and firmly walk her little butt back in and back to bed. no scolding, no soothing, no talking at all. boom.
but once she's there, you can't force her to sleep. if she sings or talks or plays, she can do that. she's figuring it out. she's only 3. it's too much to expect her to learn a difficult new habit just like that.
she's doing the best she can. help her with the transition by keeping to a loving low-key bedtime routine, and then support her while she learns to sleep without the thing that's been key to her good sleeping thus far.
she'll get there.
khairete
S.

Our pediatric dentist said that pacifiers didn't do near as much damage as sucking a thumb or finger or the corner of a blanket or anything. That they're make to shape into the mouth and not cause damage.

I understand taking it away, really I do. I know some parents that have figured their kids would hand it to them when they were done with it and they did. Maybe at age 3 and maybe at age 5.

Since it's gone I'd say don't give it back unless you mean to leave it to her to be done with it.

Here's my question to you.

What time are you putting her down? If you're putting her down at 7pm and she's staying up until 8pm then this is such a non-issue but if you're putting her down at 10pm and she's staying up until 10pm then I see how that interferes with your bedtime.

Also, if she's going to bed early and she's not falling asleep then what time does she get up in the morning? Do you work? So she has to get up at 6 or 6:30 so you can be at work on time? Or is she able to sleep in and get the rest you think she needs?

SO I guess it comes down to this....why is it bothersome to you that she's taking longer to fall asleep? Why is it such an issue in your home?

I would not give it back. Then you will have to go through this again at some point. I remember going through this with my first when we decided to take it away at three. My second had hers till four, it was not easier. She will get back to good sleeping habits again. My kids would keep coming out of their beds if we let them for one more cuddle, water not cold enough, sometimes they come out and I'll ask what they need and I can see them trying to think of something. We have to be very firm at night after our routine that takes forever and they will be in trouble if they keep coming out so they are out usually in a few minutes! Give it some time.

We waited till age 4 to take away our daughter's bedtime pacifier and boy, that was a mistake to wait that long. It was a really long process for her to not be extremely upset at bedtime. So, my advice is to not give the pacifier back! Your daughter is doing great...she is learning to self soothe and it just takes a while. The only way she knew to soothe herself to sleep was to suck. Now she is trying to learn a new way...hence all the talking, singing, distracting herself. Just keep walking her back to bed...don't giver her attention just be matter of fact about it. I heard it takes 3 months to break a habit. So, keep giving it time. I don't want to discourage you but our daughter is 5 and a half and still takes forever to go to sleep many (but not all) nights. Maybe it is just her personality.

Since you took it away I wouldn't give it back. I took my daughter's away at 9 months and it took a couple of weeks for her to get used to not having it. Does your daughter still take naps? If so try to shorten her nap time or cut them out all together. Just have patience she will be ok soon.

I'd give it just a little longer. I've always heard that it takes something like 23 days (or something like that) to make a new habit (or break an old one, which is really just kind of the flip side). She might be on the cusp of being fine.

If you give it back now, you'll have gone through it all for nothing. And it might be good for the brain, I don't know... never heard that before (specific to a 3 year old), but I'm not surrounded by pediatric neurologists. I have been told by my trusted dentist, however, that it can be quite damaging to the developing palate/teeth at that age.

Honestly, it's really OK to soothe oneself with a pacifier at 3 yrs of age. I'd give it back....sucking is a sign of a healthy, active, growing brain. Really, I'm surrounded by Pediatric Neurologists.

Why did you take away her paci?

If she only has it for sleep, what's the big deal? Our dentist told us it doesn't really do anything to their teeth, which seems to be the common concern for taking it away.
It sounds like she was not ready to lose it yet. So I'd give it back and go back to sleeping. When she's ready to give it up, she will.