Sleeping in with Kids...Am I Crazy?

I tell my daughter she has to stay in bed till 6am. At that time she can get up and play quietly in her room till 7am. Then she can come into my room w/ a snack and watch tv. So no, I don't get up and out of bed w/ her. But, having said that, even though I am dozing off, I still hear her and would jump out of bed if I heard the door open and close.

If my kiddo was gone I would have called the police.

I wouldn't consider it discipline-worthy if the child had no guidlines in place WRT what to do if Dad's asleep and Mom's gone. But I would consider it time to have some guidelines that we all agree to.

I don't set an alarm, but my kids know to let an adult know if they're leaving the house, even if it's just to go play with a neighbor.

I see nothing wrong with sleeping in if you kid is 6 or 8. They are old enough to sit down and watch TV or play quietly until you wake. However, at that age they should also know better than to go outside without talking to a parent. And since he does, I would put alarms on my doors so I am aware if he tries to leave. I don't think it's odd that the father called the mom and not the police, even you said that the kid has done this before. The father is used to it and just wanted the mom to come home and help look. If my 2 year old is missing, the first call is to the police, but if my kid was older and missing and we have neighborhood kids, I'd probably check with them before I called the police myself.

Well, I'd probably keep a closer eye, BUT...... I do not think it is a big deal to sleep in and let a six year old get up and turn on the t.v. for an hour. A three year old would be a problem, but not a six year old, but..... it depends on the child.

If the child is not trustworthy..... then parents have to adjust a bit. Yes, these folks sound a little looser than I would have been but I wouldn't judge them too harshly just yet.

No, I don't think it odd the father called the Mother, not the police. I think that's pretty normal actually. He may have thought she took him with her.

I'm not discounting you. Your gut says these people are a bit too loosey goosey. Good information. I would probably prefer they play at my house where you know there is proper supervision, but who knows what is going on in their house, or what stresses they are enduring. Wait and keep observing before you label them as bad parents.

At six years old there should be no need to get a door alarm or set an alarm for that matter. There is nothing wrong with sleeping in when your kids are that age. They obviously don't have any rules in place for what's acceptable behavior concerning leaving the house. What if the parents were watching a movie, fixing the plumbing, working on the computer or otherwise distracted when the kid leaves their property? When my kids were that age they could have been playing in the backyard and "disappeared" for while before I might notice. But then again of course that would never happen because they sure knew better than to leave our property at any time without telling an adult, come to think of it they still do!

Both of my boys have always been very independent, and are early risers. They are completely capapble of getting up, fixing a simple breakfast, and quietly entertaining themselves while I get a little extra rest. They also know never to leave the house without permission. I can't imagine it even occurring to either of them. Now my oldest is 13, so he is old enough to babysit, but even when he was younger he was always a rule follower, and our youngest (now 7) is the same way. I don't worry at all about sleeping in a bit while they relax and play or watch TV on weekend mornings. The situation you described is quite concerning, however.

OMG! How scary! I would died of a heart attack if that had happened to me. I freak out if my kids run ahead of me at the grocery store, LOL...

If my kids are up, I'm up. I'm not sure I would have totally grounded my child in this kind of situation, just because it was the PARENTS responsibility, HOWEVER, there would have been a SERIOUS talk. That's just SO dangerous.

I am guilty of occasionally nodding off while sitting on the couch, but that's usually like a 4 minute power nap before MOOOOOM!! MOOOOOM!! I NEED [insert something random here]. I would NEVER just go into my room, shut the door, and be like 'okay kids, mommy's sleeping, you guys go play amongst yourselves'...

Makes my nervous twitchy just thinking about what could have happened to that little boy!! My kids can't go outside, not even on the porch, or get a snack or ANYTHING without asking first. No way!!

I think it is the parents that need a time out. They should have an indoor lock that uses a key, so that their escape artist cannot get out. They should have dealt with this behavior long before now.

Our daughter from the age of 4 was allowed to get up, watch a video and get a snack from her shelf in the kitchen ans some fruit or juice from the fridge.

She NEVER walks out of the house, without telling us where she is going and my husband and I do the same with each other. Our daughter is 20 and at college and she also lets at least 1 person know where she is going if she leaves the building.. It is just common courtesy.

omg, that hurts me for the child & pisses me off at the parents at the same time! what idiots! i can't IMAGINE not knowing where my sweet angel is. granted he's quite a bit younger, but i don't think my feeilngs towards my son will change in 4 years! geez!!!
unbelievable!! kid should know better, but the moment they found out kid was at your house, yes discipline defnitely should've been enforced! not trying to be judgemental, but that's just ridiculous & scary & stupid! :( poor kiddo

As a mom of four, O. of whom is on the autism spectrum, I cannot imagine how you can NOT know where your children are at all times. That family needs to take steps to make sure their child is secure. They may be overwhelmed by their child's special needs (I just saw your edit about a possible autism), but that is no justification for neglect. There should not be an opportunity for a 6 year old child to leave his home without the parents' knowledge. Ever.

The neighbor is nuts! But, I believe you should give your son some space. He is old enough to get up, watch TV, even get himself some juice, or a light breakfast. I loved my morning time alone as a kid. You might want to consider. Sleep in and enjoy!

oh my, Im posting a lot lately,,must be avoiding house work or whatever.lol So, last year we had new neighbors move in next door and became good friends quickly and I just love the kids! Well, their nearly 4 yr old girl wanted to come over and arrived on my door step a few times with out M. or dad and I was suspitious as to whether she had permission or not. I would walk her back home and they were shocked she had escaped. Having 2 other kids and a busy life I can understand it all. They are a busy family and I suggested she bring a note from home when it was ok with M. to play. Well, sure enough she showed up again later, with a note. I thought Oh Great its WORKING! But,,It was a crinkled scrap of paper with scribbling ... YES, she wrote her own note! They installed an alarm that night and it only took a few weeks of a screeching screaming scary buzzer to stop her from trying to open the front door. We still laugh about it but we did realize how dangerous it was. Some kids just get away but the parents need to do something about it. I also think at 6 years old he is old enough to go a couple houses away but he should have woke dad up and asked. I can see why dad called M. first,, maybe to see if she had the son with her. They need to leave eachother notes more often, but she shouldnt have left without making sure he knew she was leaving him in charge of their son too.

You're not the only mother up prior to/along with your child. I still don't let my son (age 7) come downstairs to play while I "sleep in", and I don't have a child who would take it upon himself to just up and leave the house! I truly wonder how some children even survive with the lack of concern and responsibility their parents display!
It's a blessing this child has a safe haven in your home that he can come to....

These parents should absolutely have guidelines in place for when it's acceptable to leave the house. While O. is gone and the other is sleeping is not acceptable! It's perfectly acceptable to sleep in while your child is old enough and responsible enough to turn on the tv by himself. While this child may be old enough to do that he obviously is not trustworthy enough to do this. If I were that other mom I would ablsolutley get out of bed when the boy does....It's a child by child basis.
My daughter was 71/2 when we started letting her do that, but she knows not to go outside unless an adult is either with her or is able to watch her.

O. of us is always gets up and stays up no matter what time the kids get up.

UMM I may call CPS about this. What if he does it again and someone takes him, how will you feel then? Knowing you COULD have done something. CPS won't take him away, just issue a warning, and check up regularly to make sure the problem is TAKEN CARE OF! What if this kid gets hit by a car and dies? How will you feel. This is insane and I couldn't let myself stand by knowing what could happen, and hopefully neither can you. This mom will not change because you talk to her and will probably only get defensive or not care. Do this NOW. And who cares if she knows you called? It's on HER to be a good mom, not you to keep her from getting caught being a bad O.!

Normally I wake up a soon as my kids do. If I'm sleeping and my 4 year old wakes up first, she usually comes in and wakes me up. There have been times when I've woken up and she's been downstairs playing. It worries me that I don't hear her sometimes. I think that has maybe happened twice in the 2 years she's been in a regular bed though.

I don't think that it's horrible to sleep in a little bit, if your kids can be trusted. Obviously, this kid can't be trusted. In that case, I would absolutely make sure I was up before him!

As far as calling the mom, I don't think that's odd. I would probably call my husband first. Maybe he thought that the mom took the little boy with or that she had given him permission to go play at a friends house.

It sounds like they just let him do whatever he wants with no consequences. You can't really do anything about that, unfortunately.

If he comes over again, call the house to make sure they know where he is.

Hi, Denise:

The parents are irresponsible. They need some parenting classes.
This is a lesson for you. Make sure the parents know the kid is at
your house from now on.

Talk with the parents to see how they can know that their kid is at your house whenever he is there.

Just a thought.
D.

My kids know to get a bowl of cereal and watch tv. I have trouble falling asleep, i need that extra hour in the morning. The child should have known not to leave the house. I assume he is an only child. Fortunately, my kids keep each other company in the morning. The little guy was lonely....but needs to let dad know that he wants to go out and play.

My kids are 11 & 14 and they would STILL be in trouble if they left the house without letting me know! They also have to let me know if they change venues...that is...the 14 year old may start at O. boy's house and end up at another house...but...he knows he must always let us know where he is.

When my kids were younger, I was normally up before them. On the rare occasions that I wasn't, they came and woke me as soon as they got up. That said, I do think your son is now old enough to get up on his own...and hang out without you.

My husband would probably have called me first as well...to ask if I knew where he was before alerting authorities so I'm not seeing that as weird.

We used to have a neighbor kid who would just show up and I always asked him if his mom knew he was at our house. Sometimes she did...sometimes she didn't. If she didn't know, I would make him call her and get permission before starting to play at our house. Though you and I would always know where our 6 year olds were, it's not really a safe assumption to think that all parents do.

Yes, I'm up when my kids are up! We also have an alarm that gets set every night and when I'm in the shower. My kids (5, 3, 9 months) have never gone outside w/o my permission, but I still set the alarm.

I sometimes sleep in a bit after my kids get up, but we live in a tiny house and I can hear them, and they would never leave the house. By 6 he should be able to follow the rules, my almost 6 yo is on the spectrum and she would never leave the house. And if she was not able to control herself despite education, then other measures would have to be taken. I don't think they are irresponsible for being out shopping or sleeping, i think they are irresponsible for not making sure their child is safe when they are otherwise occupied. Everyone gets busy with something, maybe not sleep, but something and we teach our children to be safe and when they can't be safe on their own, we do it for them until they learn it. This is where the parents have failed. I don't know if they have tried to teach and it didn't work and they have given up or don't know what to do, maybe they need some help and education on what to do. Perhaps you could suggest if he does this sort of thing despite teaching him otherwise, perhaps they should get a door alarm. I am sure there are other options they could try as well.