My 13 month old wont go to sleep early.Sometimes its 12 or 1am and he is running around playing.when he finally falls asleep he wakes up 2 to 3 times a night screaming until i give him a bottle of milk.How can i get him to stop and sleep all night.
Two great books that have helped me with both my boys, 2yrs and 3mo., are The Baby Whisperer and Baby Wise. They gave me a foundation to establish routines and both childern are REALLY good sleepers. Good Luck!!!
Sounds like you have gotten into a bad habit, which is easy to do, but needs to be corrected. Somehow he has become in charge of bedtime, and as the parent, you need to take back control. It is really not healthy for a child that age to stay up that late, regardless of how much he sleeps during the day. Establish a bed time (I suggest 8 p.m.) and stick to it. Have your bedtime routine, say goodnight and put him to bed. Yes, he will protest for the first several nights, so you may have to use a sleep training method (check out the Ferber Method or Sleep Easy) but he needs to know that you are the parent and bedtime is bedtime. You have to be consistent, and not let him decide when he wants to go to bed...he is way to young for that. Once he becomes accustomed to the routine, and knows you mean business he will eventually adjust. Kids crave routine and boundaries, so you are doing him a disservice by not providing that for him. It can be tough, I know, but you have to remain strong and consistent. Sleep training (I used the Ferber Method) will also help you eliminate the nighttime wakings and bottles.
12 or 1 am is waaaay to late for a 13 month old to be up. You are probably missing his cues for bed earlier in the evening and then he gets wired. The biggest factor is a routine. Then he knows what to expect. You will need to literally do and say the same things every single night until he gets it. And it starts way before bed. Dinner should be at relatively the same time every night and then start the bedtime routine. What worked/works for us is bath, then jammies, then stories, soft music and sleep. Now when my son was younger. I kept the lights not so bright in the room after bath., talked to him that it was "nite, nite love you time", we read a story or 2 and then I rocked him to sleep. Also, make sure he is eating/getting enough milk enough during the day and if he is then start watering the nighttime bottles down so they become less and less appealing until they are nothing but water. He also probably needs a nap routine for the day as well. Good sleep during the day gets you good sleep at night. This will not happen overnight and it won't be easy but if you ever want a decent night sleep again you have to do it! Good luck!
Afternoon naps may be the culprit. I would suggest that he not nap past 3p.m.
I would look at schedule, establishing routines and....
DIET.
Did he have gastro issues as a baby? need special formula? how are his stools? normal? is he constipated? are his stools runny? foul smelling?
Is he taking naps during the day? I would try earlier and shorter naps during the day.
My other concern is giving him a bottle with milk to get him to fall asleep. Start getting him used to water in the bottle. Milk in a bottle at bedtime is the leading cause of baby bottle caries - decay in toddlers teeth.
You have to do yourself a favor and act on this now. I ignored this and now have an almost 7 year old, with the same sleeping issues. It comes down to letting him scream it out. Start with a routine and stick to it. Don't give in, or you'll have years more misery. Bath, story, bed. Try to make it around the same time. Rituals and routines are what children need/expect. Try playing music in his room, or get a machine that plays different sounds like the winds, waterfalls, etc. (Bed, Bath and Beyond) Once he is in bed, he has to stay there. Get a gate and make sure he cannot climb over it. Safety is of the utmost importance. We never would lock him in, with no way out. Anyway, he will eventually realize that mom or dad or whomever, are not coming to resue him. Learning to self comfort oneself is vital. The longer this goes on, the harder it gets! Remember, my son is 7 and we are just now starting to make some progress. It is hard. We have to lock our door from the inside and listen to him bang and scream. He can carry on for hours. We are now down to about 45 minutes, but he is not ready to accept that he can no longer sleep with us.
Good luck, and don't put off making a change any longer. It will never get easier!!
Best,
E.
What are his napping schedules during the day? 1 am seams unreasonable for a bedtime. Did this just start or has he always been difficult at bedtimes? My daughter is 1 1/2 now and her bedtime depends on if she takes that second nap and at what time, but usually resides between 7:30 and 8:30. She was always a bad napper and bedtimer until litteraly her 1 year birthday. Now she will tell me or her father in a very clear tone "NIGHT!", which is her term for napping or bedtime. We until 3 days ago, also had her crib in our room, so every single night she would be woken up by one of us and be brought into the bed. BIG MISTAKE. She now has her own room, which used to be the office and has slept through the night 2 nights in a row and counting! The first night I went directly in there when she started crying and slept with her on an air mattress we had in there. The next night was my husbands turn and he let her cry for a few minutes and she went back to sleep. It's also good to have a bedtime routine that is calming like reading a book or just snuggling. Her latest thing is snuggling with me and watching a bit of the Muppet Christmas Carol in the dimly lit living room. She usually gets 20-30 minutes in and then demands "NIGHT!". Oh, in addition we have a noisemaker set to waterfall in her room to drown out traffic noises and such. I hope any of this helps and good luck!
what time is he napping? Is he getting up from a nap at 7pm? He should be waking from an afternoon nap no later than 3-4 pm. Then put him in bed between 7-8pm and let him cry. Go in every 10 min., assure him he is ok (DO NOT PICK HIM UP OR GIVE HIM MILK)and leave again. Continue doing that until he cries himself to sleep. You may have to do it several nights, but eventually he'll get it. The catch is, YOU CANNOT WAIVER EVEN ONE TIME, once you do he'll know its a sham and can manipulate you into what he wants. Remember, YOU decide what time he goes to bed, not him. That's your job as a mother.
I highly recomend Dr. Richard Ferber's book Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems
He is the doctor who is typically credited with "crying it out" but this book also discusses all types of sleeping issues for infants and childresn. He does cover the issue you are describing above, but I wouldn't want to try to summarize his suggestions as it is part of a larger holistic approach.
I will definitely consult this book if I have any issues with my baby in the future. (He got me to train her in basically one night to stay asleep once in bed).
Go to a library or bookstore, grab "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" and skip to the back chapter called Accidental Parenting, which teaches you how to correct sleep habits
From what I have read... No TV atleast one hour before bed (could get them very hyper) warm bath (helps them to relax) read a couple of books (also helps them to relax)and if these all fail...its a phase (hopefully a short one)
