Sleeping at Night

Updated on March 20, 2008
A.P. asks from Provo, UT
24 answers

Recently, my 12 week old daughter who wakes up once a night to feed usually has been staying up for an hour to an hour and a half after her feeding. She would do this once in a while before but this past week has been doing it almost every night. I know this may be fairly common in babies this age but it is very frustrating! She does not scream in her crib but will fuss every five to ten minutes so I just go back into her room over and over again giving her a pacifier until she finally falls asleep. She recently has also been doing this when we put her down to sleep for the night so it gets pretty exhausting. I have read up on sleep training methods, such as ferberizing but am not sure if she is still too young to start incorporating these methods. Any ideas? I would certainly appreciate any responses. Thanks

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L.G.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I had a similar problem with my son when he was 3 months old. I had just taken him out of the bassinett and put him in his crib; therefore I wasn't there to replace the pacifier or help soothe him if he woke up. Per his doctor I gave him 3 to 4 teaspoons of oatmeal (not mixed in the bottle) along with his nightly formula for his last meal and he started sleeping through the night instantly. I hope this works for you. It was an easy solution to a hectic time!!

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Y.L.

answers from Grand Junction on

Look into Alternative health therapies. Craniosacral Therapy works well with babies. www.wellhavengj.com

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C.F.

answers from Denver on

A.,

it is SUCH a big adjustment with the first baby, especially the sleep part, or lack of. i don't know if you're breast feeding, but i'll tell you if you are, with my second child, i never got up once!!! at night. and here's why. she slept in bed with me and the few times she'd wake up, i'd nurse her without even fully waking up myslef, she would go right back to sleep and so would i. with my first child, i thought you had to get out of bed, go in the other room, sit up, turn on the light, change their diaper if it was at all wet, etc. with my second baby, who never pooped at night, i think because she never fully woke up, i just let her diaper get wet during the night and stay that way til morning (she wore cloth during the day), and we slept really well and in sync. the "family bed" is a different concept to people, i know it was to me, but it works great. just a thought - good luck! and yes, whatever you decide, i think she's too little for ferber. another option is just holding her til she falls back to sleep - babies that little need to be held a lot. take care!

PS my issue with ferber is not letting babies cry, babies DO need to cry sometimes, without question, it is how they "right" their systems sometimes. it is leaving them to cry alone in a crib that is not good for them in my opinion. they are trapped and cannot get to their sole source of survival - mom. my baby cries it out when she needs to, but she does it in my or my husband's arms. I think ferber works for parents, but i'm not sure it works for babies! Having said that, if a parent is unable to function because of sleep deprivation, that's not good for the baby either, and the parent needs some help to get sleep. i recommend the no cry sleep solution, there are a lot of good ideas in there that aren't so black and white.

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S.M.

answers from Colorado Springs on

For the first couple months, my son was the same. I started a schedual... We would give him a bath, and feed him right after. This seemed to tucker him out pretty good. He just started sleeping through the night one day. Lately, he goes to bed super early, and wakes up VERY early, which is exhausting for me. I started taking him for a nice long walk before his bathtime, and he is starting to sleep later. If walks put your child to sleep, maybe take a walk around 4 or 5, let her have a little nap, then get on with your bedtime routine. Her sleeping schedual will start to even out.

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T.P.

answers from Denver on

Hello A., It sounds like you are wanting to be as compassionate as possibe and are very tired. I recommend reading "Nighttime Parenting: How to Get Your Baby and Child to Sleep," by Dr. William Sears and/or the "No Cry Sleep Solution," by Elizabeth Pantley.

My daughters' night rhythms changed continually through time, so know that this will not last forever. ~T.

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L.S.

answers from Grand Junction on

Dear A.,
I would highly recommend the "Babywise" schedule. It worked great for both of our kids and had them sleeping through the night in 8 weeks. We have had very few sleep issues with either one of them since. They nap when they are supposed to nap and sleep all night when it's bedtime. The book appears to be getting more scarce but it is called "On Becoming Baby Wise". It's written my Gary Ezzo, M.A and Dr. Robert Bucknam. It was a godsend for us so I hope it can bring some much needed rest and peace of mind to your home. God Bless!

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L.G.

answers from Denver on

HI A.,
I am still having this issue and my daughter is 7 months old. I do think your baby is to little for any sleep method though, they say not to start any sleep training until their 4 months -6 months. If I find anything more out I'll let you know. Good luck!!
Liz and Baby Lynda

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A.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I just went through this about a month ago w/my little girl. BUT just to brighten your day...she now is sleeping about 10 hours a night!! WAHOO!! What I did to stop the cycle of going in every hour or so, was let her fuss for about 5 minutes, then go in, but don't go in any earlier. She's not to young & it will not hurt her to fuss for a few minutes. I did this for about 3-5 days, then she was able to fall back asleep on her own. Also, practice during the day when it's her nap time, of laying her down before she's all the way to sleep, & letting her fall the rest of the way asleep on her own. I hope this all makes sense. Keep me posted & best of luck:)
Lots of Belief, A.

A little about me:
I am 28 & a successful, work from home mom of 2 beautiful kids:) I have a 4 yr old boy & a 5 month old girl, & they are soooo much fun!

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A.S.

answers from Pocatello on

My best advice would just be to get as many naps as you can during the day to make up for that time at night. She is still to young to cry it out. But it really is the best advice I got with my first..just sleep whenever they are sleeping.

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T.H.

answers from Provo on

I really liked the book "Baby Whisperer". She has some very good practical advice. The one thing that stuck with me from her book was a saying she has... "Start as you mean to go." This helped me stop and think everything thru. I would ask myself where this would lead and if I wanted to go there. It sure nixed a lot of things that could have turned into bad habits.

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M.G.

answers from Denver on

If you have fed her and changed her, it's ok to leave her in her crib. If you haven't already, put up one of those soft light toys that plays lullabyes. She may fuss, but she will eventually fall off to sleep. I know it's hard being a 1st time mommy.. but, if you don't think she's sick, then she'll need to get used to going to sleep by herself. Otherwise, she'll get used to you coming in everytime she wimpers.
Hope this helps.

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M.W.

answers from Boise on

I am also against sleep training methods that allow a baby to cry it out. (Please stay away from the "Babywise" book for one.) Someone else mentioned "The No Cry Sleep Solution" and it is definitely worth doing. It may take more work and patience, but that is part of our job as parents. Listen to your mommy voice and respond to the needs of your little one. It will all work out in the long run. And I, too, recommend naps for you and baby!

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K.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I would leave her alone and let her be until she cries. When a baby cries or calls out for you in their own way, that's when i would pick her up and tend to her needs. It's good to allow your child to teach herself how to go to sleep on her own. I would also avoid the pacifier if possible. Yet, I am one who doesn't believe in using the pacifier. I only have one child whose two months old. However, I find if I focus on what he needs, I find the need is not the pacifier. On the other hand, there are babies who do need to suck. My opinion with that is to let them use their fist or fingers.

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M.D.

answers from Boise on

In my own opinion, I would let her cry it out. She is old enough to be sleeping through the night. Check to see if she is teething (I know it sounds early but my boys had teeth at three months), or maybe a growth spurt. Other than that she just needs to learn to sleep on her own, otherwise she will become dependant on you comming in to soothe her, and you will be more and more tired. If you are breastfeeding it could be your milk supply getting to low. If she is on formula she can probably tough it out. Again this is just an opinion. I have three kids of my own. A 4, 2, and 9mo. old. I always tell my mom friends to listen to their motherly intuition. Do what you feel works best for you and your family. You are her mommy.

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E.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

hi i just read your question and thought i would reply to it. i have a similar problem and was reading some of the responses the others have written. and so i thought i would comment on them also. they all sound good to me so i would try their ideas out. what i would do is also give my son a bath. they have this stuff called bed time bath wash and it's johnson and johnson brand. its the lavendar kind. parent choice makes the same stuff and i use it in my son bath and then i use the lavendar lotion also. the more bath time i give him the more it seems to help him go to sleep. and yes he still wakes up at night but it's only a short time. it seems to help him better. also try to shorten the nap times durring the day.
anyway hope these ideas work,
take care, best of luck,
E.

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A.P.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Hi A., it gets better, hang in there! I personally think any "sleep training method" is a bit extreme and can be very detramental to the child, but you of course have to do what works best for you & your situation personally. You might try to rock her to sleep and keep her upright after nursing for a bit afterwards, maybe she needs to burp or just let it settle. Remember for adults even it's hard to eat & lay down right away before your food settles, it's likely the same for her. Also, try playing some type of white noise for her to help her settle back down more easily. Remember babies spend 9 months in the womb hearing your heartbeat and voice, and feeling your warmth. It's kind of unrealistic to expect them to do without all that for about 6 months to year, I think. I would say overall try gradual less drastic steps before before you give in to "sleep training". Some other good books are Nighttime Parenting by Dr. Sears and No Cry Sleep Solution. Best of Luck!!

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

Make sure when you get up with her you barely turn a light on, have a nightlight or something that barely gives off light, also whisper to her, do not talk to her loudly and be very quiet.
Getting them exposed to any light or noise can make them be alert and wake up big time. She is way too young to cry it out at all and way too young to sleep train. She is a newborn that needs to be fed, rocked and she will get how to settle back in. Just the biggest thing you can do is not make noise much and no light hardly when you get up to feed her.

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S.H.

answers from Provo on

see if she has acid reflux it can cause fussiness when laying down.

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R.P.

answers from Pocatello on

If you are looking at how to get your baby to sleep better I recommend reading "On becoming babywise" It worked wonders for my baby. Being guided by the book, He started sleeping through the night at nine weeks and now he is six months and he sleeps 12 hours straight every night and it isn't because he is an "easy" baby. Some people are against making the flexable schedule that is taught in the book but if you truly think about it your baby was on a schedule when she was in utero. She got the bulk of her nutrients when you ate which probably was on a schedule. And because she was on your eating schedule, she was getting a lot of rest at night becasue you were getting rest. I know that people have very strong opinions about the ferver method which is kind of similar to babywise but they are the people who haven't even tried it. EVERYONE i know has had success with it. Those who critisize don't realize that is OK for babys to cry. It allows their nervous system to relax after all the stimulation from the day. I hope you have success in whatever you do. Good Luck!!!

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S.B.

answers from Missoula on

Hi A., It is perfectly ok to let her fuss a little to fall asleep..Do you have a baby monitor?? If you do then you can hear her levels of fussiness and you will learn that a little is ok she will go to sleep and you will get more...hugs, S...

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D.S.

answers from Billings on

It is pretty common, but it will stop. She is just about old enough to find her pacifier on her own, then it will get a lot easier. Put several in her crib with her to help her find them.
I'm not sure if she is too young for "ferberizing", I don't believe in any type of crying it out. Check out the No Cry Sleep Solution if you are wanting her to sleep better, but don't want her to cry to get there. It may take a little longer, but isn't her not crying herself to sleep worth it? Anything you try will work as long as you are consistent with it.

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D.F.

answers from Pueblo on

I am staunchly against the Ferber method. Period.

http://www.hno.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNee...

She's not to young to let kind of fuss, but I wouldn't let her get to the point of actual crying. The idea of the pacifiers all over is great, as long as she'll take one (my boy refused to take one from the first day he was born). It may just be that you need to tough this period out, though. Most babies go through these phases, but they don't last forever. Hard and tiring as it may be, they DO pass. Co-sleeping may help, but there's a huge prejudice to this in our country (despite the fact others of us have done this and our kids have no problems sleeping through the night by themselves)...that's a decision you'll have to make.

I wish you luck, but have no other advice to make you feel better.

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S.G.

answers from Colorado Springs on

It may help to try to avoid waking her up fully when she eats. I have a 9 week old and have found that if I don't turn on the light to feed him at night he hardly wakes up. Instead, use a nightlight or cell phone to get her started... or turn on the hall light. Also, if she is in a a schedule where she is waking up around the same time every night you can try waking yourself up right before that time. Then when you get her out of her crib she won't already be fully awake like she would be if her hunger wakes her up. I haven't tried doing that so I don't know if it will keep her from sleeping through the night as early as she would normally... but it might work. I also don't usually change my baby's diaper at night since I have found that he rarely poops when he's sleeping. If this is the same for your daughter, maybe you can try doing the same. Good luck!

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R.T.

answers from Provo on

She is not too young. Your daughter will probably fall asleep on her own just fine (even without the binky) if you just give her the opprotunity. I may be hard for the first night or two, but so worth it. More than likely going in to her every 5 - 10 minutes is part of what is keeping her awake. Turn the moniter down so that you can just barely hear her (or get the lights and sounds one... I LOVE that one!) and give her a chance to soothe herself back to sleep. Good luck!

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