Sleeping Arrangements - Silver Spring,MD

Updated on October 18, 2012
K.M. asks from Silver Spring, MD
22 answers

Do your children sleep with you? How old are they? Why?

Just curious, as I see a lot of my FB friends co-sleep even those with children 5+ years old. Just wondering if this is common.

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

Everybody has their own beds but it doesn't mean they sleep there. My 8 year old sleeps with us sometimes when he's having nightmares or sick. My 3 year old sleeps with us on and off as she's going through night terrors and right now has a cold. My 11 year old is the only one that doesn't sleep with us at night though he'll come in to cuddle if he gets up a little earlier than us and will lie down to cuddle before going to bed.
Around here it's more important that everyone is getting enough sleep then where that sleep is taking place. It works for us. We certainly get a lot more sleep then if we were roaming the halls or listening to upset kids.

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

Absolutely not, and they never have.

My boys are 9 and 11, and they have never slept with me. I did keep their bassinettes in my room for their first month or so, but no babies in my bed.

They both started sleeping through the night at about 4 months, and have been excellent sleepers their entire lives. They've never had night terrors, been afraid of the dark, or gotten up in the night to wake me unless they were sick or in pain.

I can't imagine co-sleeping. I know folks do it and love it...but it's just not for us.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

When my son was very little, I'd bring him to bed for a feeding early morning. Or when he's sick he has slept in our bed a handful of times, but, generally speaking -- no.
I'm a mom most of the day, and, like most moms, "on call" 24/7.
I need my nights. And my sleep. To be a person and a wife.
And my son has ALWAYS been the door closed/lights off champion sleeper type, so bed sharing has been a non-issue here.

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L.E.

answers from Provo on

We don't co-sleep. I don't like it and my ex-husband liked it even less. Of course there are those occasions when the kids crawl into bed with me and I am too tired to care, or I'm grateful for someone to cuddle. But generally, I insist on my kids sleeping in their own beds and I try to give them lots of cuddle time during the day to fill that need (for them and for me).

3 moms found this helpful
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L.H.

answers from San Diego on

Just stopped co-sleeping, super easy transition, and she will be six in two months. It was a fulfilling transition for both of us.

We started because it was easy for breastfeeding and she was a constant snuggler - I got sleep and she felt safe. We continued after my divorce when she was 20 months. I've read enough about co-sleeping (pop and clinical research) to know that it wouldn't be forever, the benefits were important for her, and fit it our lifestyle.

Now, she's growing and the separation at night just seemed right - I'm contemplating changes for myself and she feels proud of herself while still connected. She's welcome to come back in when she's sick or we're on vacation, but I'm proud of how we've negotiated the night time arrangement.

I have friends with a variety of arrangements and we're all supportive of our different styles.

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M.S.

answers from Denver on

Aside from the few nights where we ere too exhausted to take our kids back to their beds, they have never slept with us. I think it is becoming more common, but it was not a good fit for our family.

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N.G.

answers from Dallas on

We do not co-sleep, never have. I agree with one&done, I value my space and my sleep far too much for that. I'm a Mom all day long, I get to have a peaceful night's sleep at night. My kids have always been great sleepers. They don't fight sleep at bedtime, and they sleep all night long, and have since they were only weeks old. I'm 32 weeks pregnant now, and when this baby is born, he will sleep in our bedroom (though not in our bed) for a couple of months, then he will be in his own room too.

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S.D.

answers from St. Louis on

DITTO one and done. My kids are NOT allowed to sleep in my bed. I'm a light sleeper and frankly its torture for me. There are few exceptions...one is bad thunderstorms. My two youngest often wake up during T-storms. They are allowed in bed to cuddle and snuggle. When the storm is over, they are OUT and back in their own bed. Sometimes if someone has a nightmare...same scenario...Cuddles and snuggles. When they are happy and sleepy again, back to their bed. Occasionally someone will wander in after Dad is out of bed (leaves an hour before we have to be up). They can crawl on his side...

I don't think I know of many people who co-sleep. If it works for them, great. I can't do it.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

My DD could if she was sick or had a nightmare but she has long since slept in her own bed in her own room. The last time she slept with us was during a cold camping trip when she was sick and it was pretty miserable for everyone. DH cannot sleep in the bed with her, even if she's sleeping on my side. He's too light a sleeper. Even her shuffling in her sleep as a newborn kept him up. But when she was an infant he would bring her to me when he got up and we'd snooze before we had to get up.

When DH traveled when she was a baby I often had her cosleeping with me all night so I wouldn't have to get up for midnight nursings. I think you will see more cosleeping with people who practice attachment parenting. I think if a family bed works for them and they are doing it correctly and not putting an infant in danger or keeping an older child emotionally stunted, to each their own.

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

My kids are 4 and almost 6. As infants, they slept next to our bed, then in their room (and seemed happier in there!). Now, I lay with my 6 year old each night until she falls asleep. Typically 5-10 minutes. It's "our" time. Sometimes the 4 year old joins us. Sometimes after she's asleep I'll cuddle him for a bit (until he falls asleep). Then I do go to my room. However, they roam. I am ok with them coming to our bed, and so is my husband. I sometimes will go sleep in the queen bed w/ my daughter (b/c there is snoring in my room!!!). I figure if they need or want us at night - or in the middle, that's ok. We just go to sleep - wherever we can get it! Someday, I'll wish they would say, "mommy, please cuddle me"..... and so I enjoy the time I can get now, even if I am lacking a few zzzz's!

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

No. They are 14 and 11. They have never slept with me/us though. Even when they were babies. They came home from the hospital the same time as me (between 36-48 hours after birth) and went directly into a crib in their own room.

Both went through an extremely brief period of nighttime waking around age 2 1/2 when they would come to my side of the bed during the night. A very few times I let them crawl into bed with us/me, but they never stayed the entire night. Usually it lasted about 30 minutes, then I was cramped and walked them back to their rooms. When it became apparent that it was going to become a habitual issue (after say 3 night time visits in a week) then I did not let them into the bed at all, but got up and escorted them back to their own bed. That usually ended the night time visits within a few nights.

I certainly don't consider the few nights they were allowed to stay for 30 minutes or so, "co-sleeping".

Why? Because that is what worked for us.

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Nope. We've never co-slept with our kids (one set of twins). Some of my friends co-slept when their kids were little, but I don't know a single person that kept it up past age 2.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

My boys share a room...My daughter has her own room but keeps sneaking into our bed....Tired of it but it can't last forever right...ugh.

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D.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi, Keisha;

Co-sleeping is a bad habit.
If a person is married and is sleeping with
the children, the husband is being left out for the child.

If not married, it is teaching the child not to be
able to self soothe for the challenges in life.
We are trying to teach our young to be self-reliant.

Good luck.
D.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

I did wish my kids when they were infants and with my oldest on and off till about 2. After that he would fall asleep in my bed and when my husband got home from work he would move him. But if he was home when it was bed time he would sleep in his own bed. I think it was a total security thing. Now the only time they sleep with me is if they are sick. That way I am right there.

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M.G.

answers from Seattle on

In general my children do not co-sleep with us. However when my youngest, 5, was young he slept on me for the better part of his first year of life. No, it wasn't something I pushed for but rather it was something he needed so in the end it worked out well for us all. Once he was larger it became too difficult for him to do that so he went to his own bed. Now at 5 he will rarely sleep in our bed and my 9 year old daughter never has and doesn't now. Honestly we couldn't fit her in our bed with us anyway she's less than a foot shorter than I am and half my weight.

☼.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Used to. 6 months to approx. 3 years old. We'll occasionally allow a weekend night here and there now. Our daughter really loves it and her face is so sweet when she asks.

J.A.

answers from Indianapolis on

I co-slept with both if mine to breastfeed easier. No point getting up if you don't have to. They both had their own bed for naps, and they laid down in their bed for bedtime. The co-sleeping would start at the first middle-of-the-night nursing. My girls are a year apart, so the first was allowed to come to our bed in the middle of the night until the second was born. Now, a year later almost, they share a bed in their own room. They don't sleep with us at all anymore. But I'm open to it if they want to at some point.

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

None of my kids started out sleeping with us...but they all went through their own phases where they would wake up afraid and we let them come get in bed with us. They all grew out of it though. My 4y/o still comes in maybe once a month, if that...but I am pretty sure she is at the tail end of needing us. Kinda sad!

~I will say that all 3 of them want to sleep with me when they are sick and I usually let them...especially if they are contagious or puking...we kck Daddy out and I take care of them!

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M.M.

answers from Fresno on

I have 3 kids and they all slept with me as I breastfeed. I think once you don't breastfeed anymore, they need to sleep in their bed. My girls sleep with me on Fridays only. Last school day of the week and that's how we spend our Fridays. We color and draw pictures in bed then go sleep together. My boy stays with his Father in the guest room. It works out for us.

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M.H.

answers from Washington DC on

We do and love it. We did not intend to co-sleep (even though I was breast feeding) but our daughter wouldn't have it any other way. She was never a great sleeper as an infant and needed the human touch to fall asleep and stay asleep. She's 3.5 now and sleeps much better but still isn't all that interested in sleeping in her own bed. We are moving in that direction but not there yet.

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

Both of my boys would sleep with me when they were newborns and breastfeeding all night long. I would try to stay awake to put them back to their cribs, but I usually fell asleep, and they would be with me the rest of the night. It was torture for me because I couldn't get a restful sleep. At six months I did the Ferber method and cut out night time feedings. My boys have slept in their own beds, and slept through the night ever since. There have probably been a couple of times when one has been sick or had a nightmare and they have come to our bed, but very seldom.

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