Sleeping and Separation Anxiety

I think you are making a mistake by playing with him when he wakes up. He is starting to look forward to the midnight socializing. It would be better if you went into his room and patted his back and spoke quietly to him and then tell him "night night" and go back to bed. I think a nightlight is a fine idea. Try that and see if he will fuss a little and go back to sleep.

Unless he is ill, let him cry. At 18 months old, he should be sleeping through the night and for a long time by now.

I know it is hard for you, but it is the best thing you can do for your child. He needs to learn to put himself back to sleep and the younger you do this, the better.

Remember that our children learn what we teach them and you do not want to teach him that he is incapable of getting back to sleep by himself.

Blessings to you.

Hi R.,
I HIGHLY recommend reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It is a great book about the biological sleep rhythms and how/when they mature/evolve. You didn't mention what his sleep schedule is like. Dr. Weissbluth is a huge advocate for the need of an early bedtime. I would NOT stay in his room in a sleeping bag, he needs to fall asleep (and back to sleep) on his own. Developmental stages CAN cause short term sleep problems, but how you handle it is what can cause long term problems. Email me if you are interested in Dr. Weissbluth's methods, I am always happy to help.
Sincerely,
L.

I don't agree with the sleeping bag. If you start something like, it has the potential of becoming a semi-permanent thing.

You don't mention if he sleep in a crib or not. If he is in his own bed, lay with him for a while. Give it a few minutes then say that you have to go to the bathroom (any legit reason to leave is fine), by the time you 'get back' he may be asleep. In the middle of the night, do the same thing.

This is what I do with my daughter. On occasion I do have to go back in and lay with her for a little while longer, but it's never for very long.

It's most likely a phase and will be over before you know it.

Good luck.

What is the family doing when he goes to sleep? One of my family members were turning on the TV to shows they could watch when the little ones were in bed. However, the little one in question was not asleep and had a lot of trauma about it. They found out a couple of years later what had happened purely by mistake. So the child was simply scared and having bad dreams.
Good luck.
Pam

Could it be molars? Try giving him teething tablets or Motrin or Tylenol before bed and if he wakes up in the middle of the night and see if it makes a difference. Or try peeking his mouth to see if you can see anything going on.

I agree with the others that he needs to learn to soothe himself to sleep. The sleeping bag thing might start a bad habit, and I'm sure it won't be very comfortable for you. My 15 mon old would never fall asleep if she knew I was in her room.

I've dealt with this same thing when my daughter was 12 months old and then again a couple of weeks ago. It lasted for a bit and then passed...and then started up again. =) Good luck.

This could be a developmental phase he is going through. Sometimes during rapid development, kids get a bit out of sorts. They can start acting out, or previously uninterupted activities (sleeping) could get disturbed. He may also be getting teeth, which also disturbs many kids.

Hi R., my 19 mo. old has been doing the same thing -- crying L-O-U-D. I think it started when he had teeth coming in and would wake up in pain and got used to us coming in to soothe him. Check his gums, see if he is currently teething. If so, Children's Motrin last for 8 hours (longer than Tylenol) try that before bed.

If he's done teething, then he got used to the "new" routine of being soothed when he wakes. Everyone wakes up 3-4 times a night and we re-position ourselves and go back to sleep. He's waking up, not happy that he's awake, despairing, and wanting to be soothed. Perfectly normal! But not so pleasant for Mom and Dad.

I do not advocate the "cry it out" method. You can read the following article from Harvard University re: why. . . http://www.hno.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNee...

What we've been doing: we go in the first time he wakes. No talking/reading/singing, only gentle soothing "Shhhhh" and lay him down with his blanket and paci, then rub his back. If he pops back up to be held, we hold him for a short while. . .5 minutes tops. Then, lay him down (as before) again. Then leave, even if he cries. If he continues to cry, wait 5-7 minutes, go back and try again. Continue until he goes to sleep, lengthing the "cry" time by a few minutes each time.

We do the same if he wakes a second time. However, if he wakes a third time or more, we don't hold him anymore. He just gets the gentle "shhh" and so on. It seems to be working and he is crying for us less.

This method is soothing and reassuring, yet clearly tells him "it's bed time and I mean business".

Good Luck and God Bless!