Sleeping Advice - Goshen, NY

Updated on October 12, 2008
K.G. asks from Goshen, NY
23 answers

Any advice for an 8 week old who seems to never want to fall asleep at night. We did well for about 1 week, now she's up til 1o'clock at least crying...ESPECIALLY when she spits our her pacifier! I'm not expecting 8 hours, but more than 2-3 at this point seems reasonable!

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So What Happened?

Soo..not sure if I should breath easy yet or not, but I would say the day after I posted my question..things got a little better! She has even cut down on her fussy time which was from 8 or 9 till who knows when. She know feeds at about 10 or 11 and then I put her down, asleep or not. MOST nights she will sleep straight through for 3-5 hours, then shes up fussing. I can then give her the pacifier which at times will settle her right back to sleep...I guess I'm pretty lucky and shouldn't complain! She's sleeping a little better and I feel MUCH better now that I can get some rest as well.

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C.P.

answers from New York on

try a warm bath 15 minutes before you put her down or they make a sleepy time lotion that you can get at dollar general or walmart and massage her with that. You could also gently pat her on the but or rub her back or slowly rock her or maybe try humming to her.

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C.T.

answers from Buffalo on

I had similar problems with my son at that age. Does she seem to have gas? Gas drops really helped with my little guy! The generic Target brand for "mylicon" seems to be the cheapest!

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A.T.

answers from New York on

Hi K.,

Looks like you have received a lot of advice! I'll keep mine short and sweet then! We put my baby in his infant car seat to sleep until he was about 4 months old. It really helped! We only did it at night and kept in on the floor by our bed, shich was convenient too! He slept so much better this way. Good luck. By the way, it is completely normal for your baby to still wake up every 2 - 3 hours and will need to be fed and comforted back to sleep. Good luck and congratulations! It truly does get better too!

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A.N.

answers from Albany on

Hi K.,

Sounds like your daughter has the same thing my daughter had and that is colic! I remember staying up with her until about 3 or 4 am and then she would finally fall asleep. My one recommendation would be a boppy vibrating baby chair which really helped us a lot. There is not much else you can do. You should definitely encourage sleeping during the day as that will help with sleeping at night. I have to admit that this crying and not sleeping does seems to go on for a while. It's like one of the secrets of parenthood that nobody warns you about. My 8 month old daughter slept in the boppy chair for many weeks and it was a lifesaver. Don't give up hope because it will get better! Good luck.

p.s. You can find the chair at target for about $25.00 but so worth it.

Thanks,
A.

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A.R.

answers from New York on

Are you swaddling? I found that if I do the same routine every night - bath, feeding, burp, etc that she is sleepy enough to fall asleep on her own when I put her in the crib. My daughter is almost 12 weeks old and has been sleeping through the night for some time now. Also, it is really important to make sure the baby has been awake for 2 hours before you put them to bed but not so over tired that they are irritable and can't calm down. I found the earlier I put the baby to bed the longer she sleeps - a strange thing - but sleep begets sleep. Unfortunately that may be her fussy time. Have you tried a swing? Its been our life saver during the day because she won't nap in her crib for some reason. Are you nursing? I have found interestingly that if you try different techniques - cluster feeding for example in the evening, that also helps. For instance I may feed my daughter at 4pm (she generally eats every 3 hours) and then again at 6:30 one side, swaddling her, then give her the other side and will be pretty much asleep by 7pm). The key is also not to let them nap too much during the day. Believe me, I know its really hard but as she gets older she will stay awake more. On the other hand, its really important that she does get good naps during day - she probably needs to nap around 4 hours during the day. Hope this helps!

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J.E.

answers from Rochester on

Hi K.! Like some of the other moms have said, sleeping habits (as well as a million other things!) will be constantly changing with your baby. My daughter is 9 months and I can't tell you how many times I've been worried about her sleep. Then in an instant it changes! It also has gone the other way for us....she sleeps all night in her crib!- for about a week! Then back to waking up in the middle of the night. The best advice I can give you is to go with the flow. We have tried some techniques that others swear by but it just came down to being there for her and giving her what she needs. Make sure you take advantage of friends and relatives who want to visit during the day. Sleep while they are there to care for the baby, and sleep for as long as they want to stay! Good luck in your adventure with your little darling!

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A.B.

answers from New York on

Every baby is different. Keep trying to establish a schedule that works for you - it will eventually work for your baby. The key is sticking with it. Keeping the room kind of dim and trying not to stimulate the baby during nightime feedings is very helpful. You should realize however, that this may not work for a couple more weeks. Be prepared to be tired. Be patient - it will all work out and you will eventually get a good night's sleep.
Good luck!

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B.J.

answers from New York on

Well, my daughter is about 10 weeks old and she has been on a schedule since before she came out of the hospital. Try putting her on a schedule. my daughter goes to sleep at 10pm and stays sleep until about 7am. Show her its time to go to sleep by heating her bottle at night and feeding it to her in a dim light. Change her pamper or even giving her a warm bath before the bottle and put her to bed that way. She just has to get used to going to sleep at a certain time. It will take a while but it will work.

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A.M.

answers from New York on

a couple things. first, are you comforting her to sleep? children at this age should in now way be left to cry themselves to sleep. are you able to rock her to sleep around 9? then if she sleeps for 2-3 hours, that is normal. so she would wake around midnight, eat, go back to sleep, wake again, eat, go back to sleep. she would still be waking to eat. sleeping 5 hours is "sleeping thru the night". now she may not be doing that yet, but all babies are different. breastfeeding and smaller babies def wake more.

now if im reading it right, she isnt going to sleep at all till 1am? are you holding her and she still cries like that? i would be very concerned that something is wrong medically. no baby should be crying like that. do you try to feed her more? when a baby spits the pacifier out in comparison to dropping it, the baby is hungry. i really think she wants to
eat more. they take the paci, suck, then spit it out after awhile when they realize they arent getting anything.

someone suggested babywise. i would highly recommend to stay away!!! that book was writen by a pastor with no medical experience at all. the basis is to feed a baby only when the schedule says, whether hungry or not. that book has been to blame for babies failing to thrive. when your baby is hungry you feed them, matter what.

i just really hope you arent leaving her there until 1 am crying, and i hope you are feeding her thru the night. i cant figure out what you meant.

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K.D.

answers from New York on

I suggest starting a bedtime routine with her, do a warm bath with lavendar/chamomille scented baby bath, This really soothed my daughter and calmed her before bed. Then I would put on soft lullaby and nurse her or give the bottle, then put her in the crib just when she was falling asleep. This type of routine might help her fall asleep at bedtime. But it is no guarantee she wont still wake up every couple hours because of her age, it will change. Ther are a lot of reasons she may be waking up, hunger, wet diaper, uncomfortable, gas pains. You really just have to go with the flow and respond to her evry need at this point still. Don't start even expecting her to sleep through any longer periods of time until she's like 8 months. (Not that it cant happen sooner but dont expect it to). Good luck

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A.H.

answers from New York on

Sorry to break this to you, but sleeping for only 2-3 hours at a time at 8 weeks is actually normal. They are growing at a very rapid rate right now and their stomachs are still very small, so the fact of the matter is she needs to eat every 2-3 hours! As for not sleeping until 1am, well that is a real problem - not sure what you've tried yet (white noise, swaddling, heartbeat sounds, rocking, etc. are the standard methods) - you should read a book called "happiest baby on the block". Don't know who wrote it, but I'm sure you can google it. It's got great advice on how to soothe babies.

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M.B.

answers from Rochester on

Good Luck K.,
She is 8 weeks, not 8months. Every baby being different, you may have one that is turned around on days/nights.

Not sure where you are, I would suggest having windows open to the sunshine - even in her sleeping room.

Co-sleeping might help a lot too. Some people believe it is evil and not good for the child/parents, but sometimes it gets you/her over the hump.

Does she quiet when you hold her? Again, people don't recommend it, but getting a sling so she would be on your hip while you walk might help a bit, too. The rocking would be marvelous for her, and she may just start sleeping more.

Nursing to sleep may help too. Again, people don't recommend it. Makes for a happier baby though, better than a paci, and comfort of Mom right there.

I am working through all these things - he has gotten himself out of being in a swing to sleep, and co-sleeping is a thing of the past, too. He's 13.5 months, not 10 years old like people predicted for me, too.

You may need to just call a friend to come and watch your daughter for an hour or two so you can get SOME sleep, even if it isn't perfect. One of those 'if you need help, call me' offers works wonders. They get to play with your daughter (playmat, etc) and you get to rest if not sleep.

http://breastfeedingonline.com/newman.shtml

This may help, it may not.

Totally forgot bouncy seat with calming vibrations. I didn't think much when I first got it, but DS did fall asleep to it.

I wish you luck, and sleep.
M.

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S.C.

answers from New York on

Hi K.,
You might want to do some research and get a better idea of what kind of sleeping pattern you can expect from your daughter at this age. By the way, the sleeping patterns constantly change as your daughter gets older. At this point she is to young for you to let her cry it out (I don't know if you would consider this as an option in the future - it didn't work for our son and made things worse). I would recommend the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. I think she has some good advice. I hope things work out for you and you can all get some sleep - my son is 16 mos and still not sleeping thru the night - I feel like I could fall asleep at work right now! Best of luck to you and Congratulations!

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J.L.

answers from Rochester on

K.,
Congrats on your bundle of joy!!! My son just turned 11 weeks yesterday. Becareful witht his question...I asked this one awhile back and I had some nasty responses about my expectations!!! I wish I had some advice for you but unfortuneatly I don't...I have tried just about everything under the sun and moon!!! Tried the white noise (that worked for about 3 nights max) spa music (same amount of time) warming the sheets with the hairdryer, hot water bottle I even tried one of those wedges so he sleeps at an incline
(he loved iot the first night!!) I have tried letting him sleep in his rocker, his car carrier and his swing (this one works the best I might add...whenever we get to tired to keep trying him to sleep in his crib) He generally sleep in that for about 4 hours and one night even up to 7!!!!So all the advice I can really give is keep trying anything and everything. the swing that swing sides to side I have found best though!!!
Good Luck

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B.F.

answers from Buffalo on

Try the book baby wise

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C.D.

answers from New York on

Hi K.,
I used the techniques in a book called "Baby Wise" to help my baby get on a sleep schedule. I started when he was about 5 weeks old and I swear by it. By 3 months, he was sleeping 6-8 hours through, waking b/w 3a-5a for a feeding. He dropped that feeding at 4 months. My son is now 11 months and sleeps 11 hours at night with 2 naps about 1 1/2h in length each. Obviously it works different for everyone, but it worked for me and friends I know that recommended it. My son is so happy and rested during his wake hours, it's totally worth it!
Hope this helps..

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L.J.

answers from New York on

look online, they have pacifiers called wubbanubs..they did wonders for my second child.
She could have gas or have problems digesting the milk?
My daughter used to sleep in the car seat alot of nights because she has acid reflux and couldn't lay down...

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K.B.

answers from New York on

Hi K.,
It may just be her fussy period. If she nurses. she may be going through a growth spurt. At 8 weeks old, babies usually don't cry unless they need something. Have you tried a co-sleeper? Mayeb she just wants to be close to you. My son didnt sleep for more than 3 hours at a time until he was 5 months old. He is now 8 months old and he still wakes up 2 times a night, but he's old enough now that he can soothe himself.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi K.,
Some 8 week olds really do still wake every 3 hours. When a young baby is dependent on a pacifier, it sets you up to hear screaming when they lose it. I never did pacifiers with infants at night. How often is she eating at night? Perhaps the reason that she is crying is that she is hungry. When you're saying that she's up crying til 1 a.m., do you mean that you feed her at 10:00 and then she cries for 3 hours straight? Or that she eats, waits a few hours and then starts crying? If the latter is the case, I'd say that she needs to be fed more at night. Most babies at 8 weeks still need night feedings. Good luck!

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G.C.

answers from New York on

Your baby is still a newborn so you can't expect her to have a regular sleeping schedule or sleep more than 2-3 hours at a stretch. Her stomach is very small and she might be going through a growth spurt, so she really needs to feed every 2-3 hours. That will get longer in the next month or two (you might get 3-4 hours or maybe more from her), but you can't make a newborn sleep longer stretches because they're waking up out of legitimate need. Every baby is different, but mine started sleeping longer and getting on more of a regular schedule around 4 months. If you do decide to use the cry it out method for sleep, you should wait until your baby is at least 6 months old.

You may have heard this, but to help her get her days and nights straight, keep the room very dim during night time wakings/feedings, and don't engage her at all. Just feed, diaper change, etc. but don't play with her or make eye contact. During the day is when you should engage her, play, talk, etc. so she learns that night time is for sleeping and day is for activities.

It's also possible that your baby has colic, mine did and it started around 7 weeks. Evenings were our worst time of day. If it's colic, they're not really sure what causes it but it's just a phase that will pass.

Also be careful with your use of the pacifier. If your baby doesn't want it, don't force it. Some speech therapists say it delays speech if kids are still using it into toddlerhood. If you constantly have something in your mouth that you rely on for comfort, you might not be inclined to talk as much, and it can become a very tough habit to break.

Good luck! I know those early weeks with a newborn are tough, but the first year just flies by.

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D.M.

answers from Binghamton on

I totally understand, I have a 4 month old and he isn't quite sleeping through yet. I also agree sleep patterns change all the time!! Around 8 weeks they have a growth spurt so the need for more food!! They grow very fast at this stage and sleeping always changes. You also need to consider weather you are formula or breast feeding. Breast milk is quickly digested and formula will last a bit longer. Also they really do grow up fast, soon enough you will long for these younger days!! Enjoy every moment it has the best rewards!! I do hope you sleep soon!!

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L.S.

answers from New York on

Congrats on your baby girl!!

First off I wanted to mention that for the first 5-6 weeks of life, we would try to put our baby down at like 9 pm, even for a few hours, and it would take 4 hours for her to fall asleep, crying the whole time. We realized she had severe reflux (she never spit up but had acid breath and cried after eating), and when we addressed that problem, and started her on medication, the change was a miracle, and she slept much better. I realized she was in pain, so you may want to consult with your doctor.

If it's not a physical issue, my opinion is, some babies will follow schedules, and some will not. I think it's not right to just let them cry and force them into our schedule since at 8 weeks their stomach is small and needs to be filled frequently, but obviously you'll hear a thousand different opinions about that. I think if they cry and cry, eventually they will fit into your schedule, but it would've happened anyway at that time, and why put her and you through that trauma, and you won't sleep anyway. If you can follow a GENERAL structure, like feeding about every 3 hours, that will help, and gradually that time will lengthen at night. And, we did cluster feedings in the afternoon/evening, which did help a bit.

I have a 6 month old. At 8 weeks, my baby still woke every 2-4 hours to be fed, and I know she was hungry, because she would inhale the bottle (which was bottled breastmilk), and go back to sleep. She also had severe reflux, so I had to hold her up for 1/2 hour after each feeding.

I also had to go back to work at 12 weeks, and was nervous, but it just seemed to fall into place, and my job is very mentally and physically challenging. I was still up every night pumping/feeding for like 2 hours on/off in the middle of the night for my first month or so back to work, but my body adjusted, and while I was tired, I usually didn't feel like I'd collapse, I could handle it, and I'm 41 and out of shape.

What helped was that my husband and I shared the night feedings. So, he'd do an extra feeding if I had to work the next day, and I'd do an extra feeding if he was working the next day (we each work 30 hours a week and split taking care of her). If you breastfeed, maybe you could pump like I did, so your husband would have a bottle for her. Unfortunately, parenthood equals sleep deprivation early on. I know it can be so frustrating, but a lot will change in the next month, and you'll realize that gradually it will get better.

We tried baby whisperer and babywise, but it just didn't work for our baby, we gave up since it was just stressing everyone out. But, you need to do what's right for you. We followed our baby's signals for when she was tired and when she was hungry, and now it's paid off. She sleeps 10 to 12 hours through the night, in her crib, but those first 3-4 months were so exhausting. But, when you're sitting there feeding her in the middle of the night, thinking about how exhausted you are, and will be at work, just look down and cherish the moment, it's likely you'll miss it. I did that, and suddenly I felt less frustrated.

And yes, I agree with everyone else. Her sleep schedule will change a lot, so just be prepared for that.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Hi K., Could your baby be colic? Sometimes a buildup of gas can make baby uncomfortable in the evening. A good natural, old fashioned remedy is to boil up some fennel seeds and pout the cooled water in to her bottle to relieve gas (if that is what it is) Does she sleep during the day? are you nursing? If you are stressed about returning to work she could be getting those vibes. Also at 8 weeks, not many babies sleep more than a few hours straight. Hang in there...No one said that motherhood was easy. Go with your baby's needs and your heart. Grandma Mary

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