Sleep Training My 10 Month Old

I think you are dealing with the soothing issue fine. I would, however, look into why she is waking up. You didn't mention if she was previously a good sleeper or not. If she is getting teeth you might try giving her Tylenol or Motrin before bed to see if she sleeps through the night. Also, you may want to rule out something like an ear infection. I had both of those issues keep my son up when he was about that age. With the ear infection he had no symptoms other than waking at night.

I also have a 10 mo old. I cannot be anywhere inside the room when she is going to sleep. I guess she finds me overstimulating and will want to interact. Also, I don't want her using me as a prop to sleep. My suggestion is to put her down, say night-night, and go outside and do something so you can't hear her. Take the monitor with you so you can check in on her. Remind yourself that she is ok, clean, fed, and nothing is wrong. I did this a couple of months ago with my little one she has been a solid sleeper ever since. My thought process is that if she is going to cry while I am in the room, she can cry just as easily with me not in the room.
Also, you don't mention a bedtime. What time does she go down? The nightwaking is usually a sign that she is going to bed too late.

We did something similar to this when my son first moved to his big boy bed. He just needed the comfort of knowing we were there if he needed us. Ultimately I think she is still learning to self soothe and put herself to sleep, so I think it's fine. The only thing we did that was slightly different is that with time I moved further and further from his bed, to work him up to falling asleep without me there. Sitting next to the crib, then closer to the door then in the doorway, etc. Eventually I would sit outside, out of his sight and if he cried for me I came right back in. He settled and I left again. After 2 or 3 nights of this he didn't care that I just went back to bed. Of course we often regress when he's sick or has a nightmare or something, but in general he puts himself right back to sleep.

Good luck, I know it's terrible when you aren't getting sleep!

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We always just brought our son in bed with us. We found that when they woke in the middle of the night they were scared and needed comfort, our presence, to fall back to sleep. I don't think there's anything wrong with that! They want to feel safe ... being near us made them feel safe.

Nighttime parenting is just as important as daytime parenting. Rock, nurse, bottle, cuddle to sleep. These are all methods that offer comfort and security. And they work!

She doesn't need to learn to fall asleep on her own at 10 months. Right now, she needs to be "parented to sleep," as the Sears call it. Nothing wrong with that. She'll learn later how to fall asleep on her own.

have you taken her to the chirpractor to make sure her spine is well adjusted. My kids don't sleep well at all when their spine is out of whack!

I haven't read any of the responses but I wanted to say I think you are doing just fine. She might be crying, but you are not abandoning her. You are there with her, reassuring her that everything is ok. If you keep doing this, she will learn how to put herself back to sleep. The biggest thing is consistently. Good luck!

I did something similar with my now-11 year old. She was a horrible sleeper as an infant (we moved to Germany and back in a matter of 4 months, and it REALLY screwed up her little time clock!), and she didn't start sleeping through the night on a regular basis until she was 2 1/2. Ugh.

I had a full time job, and so did my husband, so when she would wake up in the middle of the night, one of us would go in to her room, lay her back down, and pat her back. Then we would curl up on her floor next to her until she went back to sleep. Sometimes, we ended up finishing the night there (like you said - we were exhausted!), but most of the time we would be able to sneak out about 20 minutes later. Once she realized that we weren't going to do anything but lie there, and not interact with her, the pattern stopped.

That lasted about three months, and after that she was a normal todddler...

I'm sure it's a phase with your daughter, but do what you need to do to keep her in a routine, and what you feel is best for your lifestyle!!!

Good luck!

I think it is fine ~

Hi -
I hate to tell you this, but now you are training her to have you lie down beside her when she wakes up at night. As another poster said, you might want to try to figure out what is waking her up and see if it is teething or something. My son sleep trained exceptionally well and started sleeping through most of the night by age 4 months. My daughter continued to wake me up past age 1. Finally, I just let her cry it out without me going in there at all. And trust me she cried for a long time. But, after only 1 night of me not responding/going in there, she didn't cry anymore and quit waking up at night.

My best advice for you, at this point, is that you are going to have to work your way towards being in the room , but closer to the door - to the point where you are outside of the room. Hopefully, this will wean her from needing you in the room.

Good luck!
L.

I just asked this same question and a sleep consultant here helped me. My daughter has been sleeping now since the night I took her advice. And, my daugher is only 1 month older than yours. Here's what she said.

Hi, I am a Sleep Consultant and Parenting Coach. I think Sally has some valid points. The hunger is not what's waking her. She is waking up and consequently it's been a few hours since she ate so she is hungry. The problem is that she is waking up at all.
She is waking up because she is coming into a light sleep cycle and she is needing you to recreate what got her to sleep the first time. She is not using self-soothing skills and she is getting a big payoff for waking up. Each time she wakes you reward her. She is most definitely old enough to be sleeping through the night without eating. You need to take away the payoff to eliminate her waking.
First make sure that you are putting her to bed sleepy but not asleep so she has an opportunity to soothe herself to sleep. I suggest that when she wakes up that you wait a couple of minutes to see if she can get herself back to sleep and if she doesn't then go to her, tell her it's still night time and she needs to go back to sleep. Tell her you love her and goodnight and then go out. Do not pick her up or pat, shush, etc... the idea is that she soothe herself. She will protest but eventually she will get the message that night time is for sleeping, not eating.
Our digestive systems are supposed to be at rest in the night, it is a time for repairing and restoring. She needs uninterrupted sleep.
I hope this helps,
Katie Smith-Sleep Consultant and Parenting Coach
www.theindependentchild.com

I don't think there is ever a reason to let your little one cry for an hour at bedtime. Sorry, I know there are a lot of people that disagree but bedtime/night should be calm and soothing.

When i was teaching my son to sleep, I would go in, lay him back down, tell him it was "night night love you", put my hand on him and then put my head down on the side of the crib. If he got up I would repeat. There were very little tears shed and certainly not for an hour. It took about 2 weeks and he got it.

If she goes down easily at night and has a good routine (as my son did before we worked on middle of the night and I knew he wasn't hungry) she will probably get the hang of it quickly without all the drama.

Also,make sure you aren't going in too quickly if she wakes. My son would scream like a fool, I'd jump up run in there and he'd be up but I figured it out when I didn't get in there quickly (had to make a potty stop lol) he passed back out in under a minute or two. That was something he did as part of his sleep cycle-he'd wake briefly, cry for 30 sec-1 or so then pass out/go back to sleep on his own.

I'm with Mamaduck, being in the room for that long only seems to prolong the crying. Do you reassure her vocally? Try and just do a simple rub on the back for a few minutes, but don't talk too much and don't pick her up.

Also, it's normal for babies to cry a bit then fall back asleep. Sometimes when we intervene we are actually waking them up more. obviously, if she's creaming that's one thing, but a whine is something she can be left alone for.

Dr. Sears has some excellent sleep advice:
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems

I think that you need to leave the room. The crying would probably be less if she doesn't see you. She wants your attention, and thus the crying for you. Like others said, if she wakes in the middle of the night, go in, tell her it is still night night time and you love her, then walk out. We always play music or nature sounds for our kids. We would turn that on before we left the room.