Sleep Training Baby with Brother in the Next Room

Try feeding her.
At her age it is completely normal for her to wake at night for a feeding.
And please remember that what worked for one child might not work for another. And I agree with the other poster, a colicky baby is much different than a baby that actually needs something and mom is ignoring it.
it is not necessary for a baby to " self sooth" and they are not emotionally equipped to do so.

Colic is crying, is far different then crying in the night for a caregiver. My goodness, your child is not even 6 months. She is quickly approaching one of the biggest restful times in infancy. Her body is going through multiple milestones right now and it's a very normal time for a baby to be uncertain and restless. My only advice to you, is to learn to function with the sleep you get. Your child is a baby and should be treated as such. She is figuring out all this stuff her body is going through and it affects her sleep. Totally normal and expected. What should not be expected, is for her to bend to your wishes of a full nights sleep, when her body can't handle that.

Went through this with my son when he was 9 mos old (peds recommended night feedings until then and YES I was a ZOMBIE at work) and daughter in the next room was 26 mos old :( He would cry, she would wake up and cry....vicious cycle! My suggestion is to let your younger child CIO and instead go in and comfort your older one and let him know it is OK to go back to sleep. You could also try giving him a set of little foam ear plugs if you are comfortable with that....or letting him "camp" in a room further away for a week or so overnight until the baby "gets it" and sleeps better. I am going to be going through this again VERY soon (#3 on the way and the others will be shy of 4 and 2.5 when this one is born). Good luck!

Wow, I could've written this exact post myself 2 weeks ago!! Like, exactly!
My DD is 22 weeks and DS is 2.5. Their bedrooms share a wall, and I was afraid to let DD cry to avoid waking up DS.

Everyone told me that DS would NOT wake up. They were right.

I had hit my breaking point and I let DD cry. 3x she woke up the first night and cried each time anywhere between 10-30 minutes each time.
Next night, up 1x and cried for 30 minutes.
She hasn't woken up since. :)

Through it all, DS never woke up once. You can definitely hear her in his room. But it doesn't phase him. I think he's used to hearing her cry, so it's nothing new to disturb him.

So, let her cry. I bet older brother doesn't hear it. If he does, just tell her that she's OK and tuck him back in. I'm betting it won't be an issue, though.

Here's the thing-parenting doesn't stop at night. Doesn't stop because we are sick, tired, have to get up to go to work, want to go on a date night with our sweetie. Like Bug said, she isn't even 6 months old. Even Dr. Ferber who came up with the whole cio thing says you should even start till 6 months (which seems crazy to me since that's a time of huge change and milestones that interrupts sleep!).

But she needs to be taught to sleep and you need a method that isn't going to rattle the rafters and your 4 year old. Infants don't automatically know how. And it takes time. It's a learning process where they learn the routine so they know what to expect and what is expected. I used a combo of tips and tricks from The Baby Sleep Book, The Baby Whisperer and The No-cry sleep solution to teach my kids to sleep. My oldest was sleeping 10-13 hours by 7 months old but my 2nd was never as good a sleeper till she was fully weaned at 20 months old. But that was ok. Different kids, different night needs. But she knew the routine and knew what to expect. At barely 2 we could do the night routine, tell her we love her and she'd close her eyes before we even left the room!

I have a 9 1/2 month old, along with two older children, ages 4 and 5. The baby did wake them up sometimes in the earlier months, but I think they have gotten used to tuning her out now. I also finally convinced them to allow me to shut both of their bedroom doors all night, which helps.

Our baby has been sleeping through the night for about 3 months now, but in the last few weeks, waking up several times a night. She has her 4th tooth about to break through, and a month ago had none, so I can see why she is not resting well. However, for her, she just really needs her pacifier with all this teething going on. I know not everyone believes in using them, but if it can help her sleep better at night, and I can sleep well, then it's worth it. So I found that if she loses her pacifier during the night, if I go in and put it back in her mouth, she is asleep in seconds. It's when she can't find it that she continues to cry. So just last night I put like 3 or 4 of them in bright colors, in her crib, so she can always see one when she needs it. It worked like a charm, and she slept straight through for 10 hours! Maybe that would work for you? Just a suggestion.

Have you tried just patting her bottom without picking her up? I know you are trying to quiet her quickly but she isn't going to learn how to self soothe that way ( I am all for CIO did it with both of my kids) So no judgment here. However, I did not leave them alone. I stood with them and just kept laying them back down, saying night night, and pat them if needed. My kids were older then your daughter but still I did it. Is she eating enough before bed? Is she on full solids yet? Before I would do CIO for my own assurance I would make sure hunger, teething, and sickness are not a possibility. Good luck!!

First off, does your 4 year old ever wake to the crying? My kids could sleep through a tsunami, so a baby crying wouldn't even phase them. We had three kids in three years, so my boys were 2-4 when my third child was crying it out. They were in the next room and never woke up. Has he slept through fire alarms, house alarms, dogs barking, etc? If he has, I'm thinking the crying may not be an issue. If you think he is a lighter sleeper, having a fan (or any white noise) in his room may help.

We very successfully used the CIO method for our oldest three. They are the best sleepers, now! The only thing, is that we didn't start it until 9 months. My kids were eaters, so they were legitimately hungry during the night at 6 months. Just getting up to feed her once( a little food in her belly), may let her sleep a little longer. Not judging, just thinking it may be worth a try.

Good luck!

I put a humidifier with a little noise on it (humming type) or a radio with light static in my older child's bedroom at night. That way, the crying of my youngest only added to the din and was easy for the oldest to ignore. Only took a week. Just remember, you will survive this, and so will they (and you'll all thrive as everyone gets a good night's sleep!)

I posted the same question years ago! My daughter had become an excellent sleeper and I was terrified that her younger brother was going to completely de-rail her healthy sleep habits in the process of learning his own.

At the time, I found the feedback I received was not very helpful...but it turned out to be very, very true: There is really nothing you can do -- it's just a phase of the sleep-training and you'll have to manage through. However, it will NOT permanently ruin the healthy sleep habits of your first child. Your oldest has the sleep skills now that he needs, and he'll bounce back to them after your daughter sleep trains.

We had white noise playing in my daughter's room (the oldest) to help mask her brother's crying and I think it helped a bit. But my daughter was much, much younger than your son (she was still in a crib.) I don't know if adding white noise to your son's room now would be more disruptive than helpful.

I like your idea about talking to your son, if he begins waking or asking you about the baby's cries. I would tell him that this is what babies do...it's perfectly normal...and that he should hug his lovey and go back to sleep. (Do the explanation in the morning, when he is wide awake, so you are not over-stimulating him at night.) You may also have to reinforce the bedtime rules (stay in bed, close your eyes, etc.) for him.

This too shall pass. Hang in there. :)

My daughter was born when my son was 3 1/2, so about the same age apart as yours I think. I told him when she was born that babies cry, and mommy and daddy would take care of her. Sometimes he would wake up to check on her, and I would just tell him it was ok, I had it covered and he could go back to bed. Also, I let him pick a CD he liked and would let it play all night long. Maybe even try some music in the babies room on low, then if she wakes up, maybe she will hear it and go back to sleep? I don't know about that age, I'm one of the lucky ones whose kids both slept all night early on, so I don't think it's unreasonable. Good luck!