Sleep Training Advice - San Diego,CA

There is a great book by Dr. Sears on ATTACHMENT PARENTING, it was extreamly useful and eye opening for my husband and I. It discusses the cry it out method at legnth. Good Napping!

I just went through this, so I feel for you! I started the Ferber method with my son at 5 months (he's almost 6 months now). His book is "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber. It took patience and at times I cried right along with him, but it worked. My son now goes to sleep on his own for both naps and bedtime. Every once and a while he gets thrown off, but I just go back to the program and he gets back on track.

"Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" by Weissbluth is also a good book, but I found it a little scattered. After reading it, I still wasn't sure exactly what to do. Both Ferber and Weissbluth use the same basic technique, but I found Ferber's book much clearer and easy to read. His technique is a little easier that a straight cry-it-out programs. It lets you go in and check on your child at graduated increments. Those moments of checking on him really made me feel better about the whole process.

Bottom line...You have to use a technique you feel comfortable with. And you HAVE to be consistent. If you don't want to spend a fortune on sleep books, the "Baby 411" book has an outline of all the popular sleep methods and gives the pros/cons. That may help you find the right approach for you. Best of luck!!!

Yes, there are lots of great techniques. Ferber is very popular. I've tried lots of these. My 1st child was like this as well. But, nothing really worked....she had a very strong will, and would not go down, no matter how long we made her cry it out or what technique we tried. She had her own mind. And believe me we tired and tried all sorts of things! However, my daughter was also very sensory sensitive to noise. Any little noise. She could probably hear a pin drop across the street. My 2nd child on the other hand, was more adaptable to the cry it out approach and it worked with no problem. He's a terrific napper and sleeper now. Try different things, but go with your gut and what you think is right for your baby. Remember that as the baby is so called "crying it out"... make sure you have a baby monitor or something, or check on the baby indiscreetly.... sometimes they cry so much they choke and throw up they are so upset,a nd get very hot and sweaty. Each baby IS different, they are not a template. Good luck!
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

Hi K., im a mom of six and yes letting them cry is ok but that seems too long for me, mine never took that long have you tried putting your hand on him and touching him while he goes to sleep my daugter tanya i would have to touch her rub like from her cheek to her forhead to calm her down once she would calm she would let heself go to sleep. She just wanted the comfort of me being there. I always had them sleep in there beds at that age. So your doing good on that. One of my sons liked it when i rubbed his back till he calmed down. Then i would have to do it less and less time, till they felt safe. Then it was just a simple touchand a shhhh, time to go to sleep. Hope it helps.

What in the world is abnormal about a 5 month old wanting to be close to his mama when he falls asleep? Your instincts are your guide. There are millions of opinions in the world-- listen to your natural inclinations. And listen to your son!! He is clearly needing a llittle loving at nap time-- who wouldn't? It is not "needy" or "unnatural"! He's only going to be a little baby for a TINY period of time-- mothers have been rocking and nursing their babies to sleep for thousands of years. As soon as he falls asleep, put him in his crib.

I know that it is not fun listening to your baby cry himself to sleep, but STICK IT OUT!! I have a 16 month old daughter, and she did almost the same thing. She gave me all the signs of needing a nap, but when I'd lay her down, she'd scream. There were a few times she did cry through the whole thing. As tough as it was, I let her be. Eventually she fell asleep! Not only that, she has learned to put herself to sleep for naps and bedtime.

We started the 'cry it out' method at 2 months when we put her down for the night. I would check on her every 20 minutes or so, just to be sure she was not stuck, turned over, or hurt, etc. Every few check-ins, I'd pat her on the back or talk softly to her to comfort her, but I wouldn't pick her up! The first night she cried for 45 minutes (and believe me it was the LONGEST 45 minutes of my life!) The next night is was only 30 minutes. The next, maybe 10...and so on. Now she doesn't even fuss when we put her down for naps or bedtime.

As I said earlier, I know it's tough now, but the reward of having a baby put himself to sleep is the best payoff in the world. 14 months later, I'm glad we did it at such a young age. It sure makes bedtime a whole lot easier! So stick it out! It's definitely worth the tears, from the baby, and maybe even from you! :)

K.,

I am with you here! I have had no luck with my 8 month old boy (my first) as he is the professional cat napper! If I get him to sleep (by holding him) and then put him down he sleeps for only 15 to 20 minutes and then is up and playing in his crib. He will play for a while and then start crying. It isn't the typical crying "come save me" cry, it is the maniacal crazy crying where you think he has lost an arm! I have resolved myself to holding him during his naps when I want him to have a long nap and I either nap myself or watch a movie or both. The problem with that is that I would love to do other things during his nap time. Bedtime he is great even if he is wide awake. But if I leave him to cry during nap time, he will cry for more than an hour. Well by that time, the nap time is over and it is getting close to eating time again. :-) Sorry I am only sharing my same grief over this subject, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone and I will check to see if there is something new I can try that doesn't involve letting them cry it out. It just seems so odd that it worked for bed time but not nap time.

L. H.

Costa Mesa, CA

First, one of the best pieces of advice I was ever given is that pediatricians are not parenting specialists - they are just doctors for children.

I would consider thinking about why your little guy is crying. Is it because he wants to be near you? Is there anything wrong with that? My son napped in a Moby wrap on my body until he was about 10mos. I personally think that the "cry it out" method is cruel and emotionally damaging unless the parent is so stressed that whatever they would do to the child is worse than creating abandonment issues and lack of trust.

My advice is to listen to your gut. If it's telling you not to let him cry, then don't! I think 5 months is very young for that, and I have not heard of much success with that technique for napping. I'm sorry I don't have an alternative for you, as I ended up holding both of my kids for much of their nap time when they were young. Both DID learn to nap on their own eventually. But, I would rock (or nurse) them to sleep, wait until they get the "limp arm" and then put them down. It didn't work every time, but I got better and better at it with time. Both are good sleepers at night now too, so just hang in there.

Hi there!
It is hard to hear your little one cry. I tried it when my daughter was that little but we didn't have any success(mainly because of me). Also, when she was that little I let her take her naps in her swing. I knew it wouldn't be forever and if it got her to sleep then so be it. At night, we brought her into bed with us(big mistake) because she would just scream at night. She wanted the closeness of mommy. We finally got her back in her bed last month and that was when she was 14 months old.
Please do not let your little one cry for more then an hour. Try picking up the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby by Weissbluth. It has some great tips for each stage of your baby's development.
Good Luck!

Hey K.,
I did the cry-yourself-to-sleep with my daughter and it worked great! She was about 4 months old. It did take her a few days to finally wind down and sleep, but probably after a week or so she started taking great naps for the most part. Just don't go check in on him. Because then he thinks you'll come get him so he can start crying more until you keep coming back. I know it is really hard to hear. I got on the phone with a girlfriend who had just done the same thing and I was crying because I couldn't believe I was just listening to her cry. But just remember, that he is probably less affected then you are by the crying! Good luck!

Try just closing your bedroom door and taking a nap yourself so you can hopefully drown out his crying and it might not affect you as much.

Sincerely,
B.

I recommend the same book as K. H mentioned. It really helps. We let our baby cry it out for naps when she was 5-6mo old. She would cry for up to an hour and then sleep. Eventually, no crying and she went to sleep easily. It took about a week or so. She still nursed to sleep at night after her bath and stories until about 7-8mo then we switched to nursing near dinner and then bath, stories, bed. She transitioned fine. We also gave her a lovey, a stuffed pig, at 8-9mo that she sleeps with for every nap and at night. That helped a lot. Also, for breast feeding or rocking to sleep in the middle of the night, try sending your husband in instead of you. We did that and in 2 or 3 nights, she slept through the night and has ever since. Also, do not go in the room when she cries. It is hard to listen to the crying, but worth it if you can get on a regular nap schedule and know that she will sleep. Good luck!