Sleep Questions: to Nap or Not?!

Updated on November 14, 2007
D.S. asks from New Milford, CT
12 answers

My dd is close to 26 months old and has been resisting her naps for about a month now. I am 11 weeks pregnant and have had many moms tell me not to let her give up naps because I will need the rest as time goes on. HOWEVER, every situation is unique.

Here's the problem: IF she naps, I put her down late for bed-time (I subtract the amount of time she napped and put her to bed that much later) but then she wakes up SUPER EARLY. Today it was 4:30am. I sat with her for about an hour, and thought she was asleep, but when i tried to lay her down in her crib she was wide awake!

IF she doesn't nap, she goes down about 6:30pm and sleeps until 6:30 or 7am. So, common sense would say to not let her nap (and my dh too;) I'd really like some more input on this topic to see if this is the right decision....

please help!

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A.M.

answers from New York on

My daughter use to take late naps and then I could never get her to sleep at night. And she would also get up super earlier. She stopped naps at 2 1/2 and it was the best thing for all of us. She nows goes to bed around 8:00 and wakes at 7:00ish. It was a wonderful move for us!!!!

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L.F.

answers from New York on

Read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth -- This book helped me so much with my son. Surprisingly, you should put your child down at the same time -- your 6:30 bedtime whether she takes the nap or not. Sleep begets more sleep. If she's sleep deprived, she'll actually sleep less! I'm pretty sure he says a child your daughter's age should take one afternoon nap -- he gives great advice on how to establish sleep habits.
Hope this helps!

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E.B.

answers from New York on

I ran into the same thing with my daughter when she was about 18 months. Everything I read told me that 18 months is way too young to give up naps, but I had a similar struggle you described. Life was so much easier when my daughter stopped napping altogether at 20 months. Even though my second daughter was only 2 months old, it made such a difference to have my daughter on a regular schedule going to bed early. I just make sure she has some kind of quiet time on the couch in the middle of the day. Even now, we don't let her fall asleep in the middle of the day because even with a 1/2 hour nap, she won't go to bed until 9 or 10 pm and end up even more tired the next day. As far as surviving with a newborn--find a good friend/friends to take out your 2yr old a couple times a week so you can catch up on sleep. Good Luck!

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T.L.

answers from Rochester on

My opinion is sleep begets sleep. My daughter at 9 months naps 3 to 4 times a day. I don't count hours of her naps and subtract them from her overnight sleep. Night time sleep begins with the same ritual at the same time every night. she stays up in the AM for an hour to 2 hours, goes down for an hour or two hours, stays up for 1-2 hours goes down for 1-2 hours in the afternoon, we do this all day long. She is a happy and well rested baby.
So far so good! Good luck

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J.F.

answers from New York on

Give it a try with no nap but quiet time instead (reading, drawing queietly) and puting her to bed early. See how things go for both of you after a while - is she well rested? Does she seem cranky, overly tired and overly sleepy in the evening? As you said - everybody is different. It might work out for you.
Also I read between the lines that she doesn't fall asleep on her own in her bed, am I correct? Don't hold her, even if you are staying with her and reading to her, let her be in her bed all the time. Leave when she is still awake, don't wait until she falls asleep. She needs to learn to fall asleep on her own (remember - with a newborn you will not have time for this! Don't let her associate you not spending time with her at night time with the arrival of the new baby because she will reject it). Evenineg ritual, bath, bed, story, kiss goodnight, LEAVE. If she cries come back in 5 min to tell her everything is fine you are right in the next room. Leave the door open if she wants, she can hear you in the bathroom or something getting ready to go to bed but do not stay with her until she falls asleep! You are setting a trap for yourself. Obviously ignore this if I misunderstood what you wrote :-)).
Good luck.

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D.

answers from New York on

I wouldn't subtract out the time she naps from her bed time. Put her to bed at the same time whether she naps or not. This is also what we did. Put her in her crib and if she falls alseep she obviously needed it. If not she has to rest in her room for an hour or so. If she does nap, don't let it go longer then 2 hours. My son could nap sometimes up to 3 hrs. Don't let her sleep that long. An hour and a half to 2 hrs is more then enough. This shouldn't disrupt her bed time. Just because she sleeps during the day doesn't mean that she still doesn't need 12 hrs or so at night, so I'd stop subtracting out the nap time from bed. Kids who are overtired sleep less rather then more. So even with the nap put her to bed at her regular time.

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A.J.

answers from Albany on

Congrats on your pregnancy. I wish you a happy & healthy one!

I have been in that situation with naps vs. bedtime/wake up issues. I myself would prefer the bed at 6:30 wake at 6:30 no nap route. I crumble at 7:00 pm ad I am NOT a morning person.

So, what I have done is let my kids give up the nap but they MUST absolutely MUST (no waivering on my part, no negotiating on their part), have 1- 2 hour quiet time alone in their rooms.

I still have that rule. When my 20 month old naps, everyone has quiet time, including me! Oh how I dread the day when my son gives up his naps.

My best to you.
A.

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A.P.

answers from Utica on

Hi D.~

I would say it honestly depends on your daughter! You know she is not getting enough sleep if she begins to get cranky easily later in the day, like a few hours before her normal bedtime. If she starts to get under-eye circles and she doesn't normally have them, then she may still need a nap during the day. A nap for a toddler her age can last from 20 minutes to 3 hours. It depends on the child, really. You know your daughter better than anyone. You say that when she doesn't nap she sleeps almost 12 hours a night, and that in itself is great! It sounds to me like she is doing just fine and this is perfectly normal! If she doesn't take to naps anymore, and you feel as you get further along in your pregnancy that you do need a little nap yourself, just to keep up with her, I would suggest getting together with a friend who may watch her for you for an hour a day when your husband isn't available so that you can try and get the rest that you'll need. Good luck!

~A.

C.S.

answers from New York on

My son did the same thing about that age. And, we started movie time after lunch. So, after lunch everyday, he gets cozy in our bed and watched a DVD. He relaxes and I have the option of relaxing as well, or doing some housework.
This is just about the only time during the day we let him watch tv.
He doesnt actually sleep, so we still maintain our 8:00 bedtime, but he gets some rest, so he isnt cranky around supper time.
Best wishes!

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C.A.

answers from New York on

Hi D.,

My daughter just turned 2 and she gave up her naps when she was 20 months. She did the same thing that your daughter does, if she napped anywhere from 20min-2 hrs and then she wouldn't go to sleep until 8:30-9:00. If she didn't have a nap she would go to bed at 7. She has always been an early riser so shes up by 6, no matter what time she went to bed. Personally, I prefer her going to be earlier than having a nap and going to bed later. I'm exhausted by 7, and when she stays up to 9 I find myself getting frustrated easily. I think that people are right in saying that it would be nice to have a period during the day once your new one comes along that you can have to yourself, but like I said if she gives up her naps you'll have all the time to yourself after 7. To me, thats worth it!!! Who knows...... she might even give then up herself completely by the time the baby comes along. You need your sleep now, waking up at 4:30 is not good for you or your daughter. Good luck!- C.

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D.D.

answers from New York on

Around this age, their schedule starts to change. My daughter is turning three in January and went for months without needing naps, then last week started taking one every day for about an hour. If you put her down, only give her about an hour to nap, then wake up. If you find that no matter how short her nap is, she's still getting up too early, she may have unfortunately outgrown them. It's tough when you're pregnant. I wouldn't have made it through my second pregnancy if it weren't for cartoons and lots of them. As soon as my son was born, I cut most of her cartoons and she barely missed them. You'll do what you have to in order to get by, but it'll all work out in the end.

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K.M.

answers from Syracuse on

If your daughter does just fine, and has a great day without naps, then I don't see a problem. However, if she's still in a crib then I would suggest putting her in her crib after she has lunch and see if she falls asleep. Leave her there for the amount of time you would like her to nap. As long as she isn't climbing out or screaming you will get a much needed break, and maybe even your own nap. When she does fall asleep though, keep her bedtime the same. With children it's kinda weird, but the more sleep they get the more they seem to need. I think you should just use your best judgement, and do what works best for all of you. Most 26 month olds do still need a nap, but she might just not want to give up her playtime, so is resisting. My older kids were still taking naps at 3, 4, and 5 on the couch. When I was pregnant with #3 I would lay down on the couch, and my then 4 year old would curl up behind my knees, and nap with me.

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