Sleep Problem: Still Co-sleeping/Night Nursing 16 Mo. Old Son, Please Help!

Natalie, I nursed my daughter until she was 18 months. I thought she'd stop on her own but it turned out I was the weak one! She co-slept with me FOR months and then it was time to get her into a crib. I was terrified! I read ALL the books and the best thing to do is get the daddy involved. Like others have said, get his tummy full and start a solid bedtime routine. Keep it to about 45 minutes & something you can repeat each night for sure. When it's almost time to put him down, let daddy take over for one last book, a snuggle, song or a rock in the chair. He will probably pitch a fit. Here's what I did - I LEFT THE HOUSE a couple times for about 30 minutes. I would hide in another room with the TV blasting. Here's the great news - even if he cries, he will LOVE his own space. You will love yours. And in the morning, he will love you just the same. I promise! Somehow that good cry gets them to sleep nice & sound - just like when we do it ourselves. It will only take a few nights and then you'll ask yourself, WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG!??! I promise. I hate the cry it out thing too but it won't even be that bad. It's just like when we have to adjust to a new routine. He just can't get the words together to tell you he's not digging the change so he cries. Be brave and know that it's a good thing for everyone. :) I'm pulling for you! ~C., The Woodlands

Follow your instinct about the CIO thing-please don't! I started (and stopped) that with my first child. Once when I checked on her, she had spit up and was crying because she had urp all over the back of her head. Another time she was wet, and another time, her leg was caught between the slats of the crib (even though it was code). Babies cry for a reason. I nursed all my children for a long time (2.5 years with the first two and still nursing my almost 3 year old). Nursing is a mutual relationship. Two suggestions that may help you with night-time parenting. First, make certain your son's tummy is full before you put him to sleep. You didn't mention what solid foods he is eating yet. One of my favorite books is Super Baby Food. Even if you don't want to make your own baby food (easier than you think), it gives you a specific guide on how much food and what kinds of food to feed your baby based on age range. It is a wonderful resource. Secondly, is your son getting enough exercise and stimulation during the day. It will make a difference in how well he sleeps if he gets the proper amount of exercise. Finally, be consistant with his routine--same bed time every night. It sounds like your son is going through a growth spurt and may need additional calories. Waking up more than every two hours is too often. One other thing, I put my babies to sleep on their tummies. He is really past the SIDS scare since he can roll over by himself. The nurse told me that babies digest better when they sleep on their tummy. Hope this helps!

Please remember that no child ever died from crying it out. I have two teenagers, one that had trouble sleeping through the night and still has trouble getting to bed at a good hour (she is 17), but just put him in his "special" bed (make a big deal out of that) and let him cry. Go back to him after a determined period of time and reassure him that you are still there, but DO NOT give in. There are very powerful little people and will manipulate you if you let them. It will be hard at first, but eventually he will learn that his place to sleep is his bed. At this age he should be sleeping most of the night, but if he does wake up, he should learn to go back to sleep on his own. Good luck with the adjustment! I KNOW the crying thing is hard, I had to do it a few times, but they will not have any lasting effects from having to cry for a little while. My prayers are with you while you work on your happy family. Remember, it does take work, but worth it!

I know that they crying it out method seems daunting, but trust me, you are teaching them a coping skill by allowing them to figure out how to settle themselves back to sleep. Yes, there is a fair amount of crying involved, but trust me, a few nights of crying....trust me the little buggars figure it out pretty fast....it's worth it's weight in gold if it means a lifetime of sleeping through and quality sleep for the whole family. Also, if you're starting a new life with your son's father, the bed might start to get a bit cramped with you, your son, and his daddy in there! You need to treat yourself to some alone time without your son at night, just imagine 8 whole hours of sleep without having to feed! There's a good book out there by Gina Ford called the Contented Baby. She's strict and ridgid, but she works...I followed it pretty close and both mu kids (age two and one) have slept in their own beds and through the night from five months. But hey, eveyone's different and there's no right or wrong way to being a mum, just love them with all your heart and things will work out!

good luck
J.

I too began my mommy life as single and also co-slept/ nursed my daughter until she was 16 months. At that point I was going to school/working full time and would only be able to nurse at night. If you would like to stop the night time feedings, I have a couple of suggestions. I would suggest feeding him solid food late in the evening so that he is full longer and so that he won't wake up for the "midnight snack"! Also, get him used to HIS bed so that he doesn't cry for yours by making him take naps during the daytime in it.

An alternative - Are you sure that he is really hungry late at night or is he just needing to be pacified? I would hate to suggest starting a pacifier so late if he hadn't already been using one but it is what worked for a friend of mine. Her baby woke up once in the night, they gave her the pacifier and she would sleep the rest of the night through. I now have a 6 month old that I am currently breast feeding and she started sleeping through the night when she found her fingers to suck on. She will sometimes wake up, find her fingers and then go back to sleep. It's been great! I hope that helps! Good luck!!!

Have you tried a pacifier? It sounds like he may be using you for his pacifier. What about a big boy cup has he begun to use one yet? I recently read an article in Parenting magazine that says babies this age wake up to 6 times at night but that they have to learn to start to put themselves back to bed. If we jump at the first whimper we will have to continue to do so. I have a 13 month old that whines a little about two to four times a night but he is in the same room as me but in his own bed and I say sh sh sh sh, and he eventually lays back down and goes back to bed. I do get up once to give him water in a sippy cup but he knows that it is night night time not eating time. At this age they get most of their nutrition from solid foods. Does he eat a lot before bed? Perhaps try a snack before bed to be sure his tummy is full. Their is also a lot of change happening in his life, expect it to be a little difficult but you will get through. Babies do not like to share their mommies.

They helped me with all my nursing issues...
Good Luck!

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