Hmmm. Well, I can understand your anxiety. But I also think you might be being a little over-protective. I'm not sure what your bad experience was but also remember that bad things can happen just by letting him play over at someone's house for a few hours. Not that I'm trying to scare you, just trying to offer a little perspective. That being said, there are things you can do to ease your mind if you decide to let him go. First, I would ask the parents if they could meet you and your husband prior to the sleep over, maybe for lunch or coffee or something like that. Something that would allow you to get to know them a bit. Next, I would tell the parents that your are concerned and not very comfortable with the idea of a sleep over. You don't need to tell them you had a bad experience, but let them know that you are worried that something could happen, like an accident or exposure to things that you don't allow (like certain TV shows, for example). I'm sure they would understand that...I think the first night a child spends away from home is hard for the parents, especially Mom. Give them a chance to assure you that your child's safety is their top priority while he is in their home. Which I'm sure it is. Talk to them about the rules they have in their home and how those rules are enforced. Find out their feelings on things like TV viewing, video games, snacks, anything that might be a concern for you. Let them know that you would like them to contact you or that you would like to call at some point during the sleep over, just to check in, and you would also like to speak to your son at that time. Lastly, if the thought of him spending the night just bothers you too much, it's ok to not let him go. I think I was around 8 when I slept over at someone's house for the first time. I would say that eventually you should let him spend the night at a friend's house, but if you decide 5 is too young, that's perfectly fine and reasonable. I hope this helps!
M.