Sleep Issues with 3 Month Old

No advice but I feel your pain, my son is just about 3 months and we have the same issues. It's only 11 am, and I've been up since 4 playing the hold me so I can sleep game, while trying to clean house, and homeschool my older kids. So far he's been down for a whole 15 minutes, but I can't leave the room cause he fell asleep laying on the couch while I nursed him and I'm afraid he will either roll into the cushions or roll off, not that he rolls yet......at least he's asleep though right!?

Maybe if we just keep telling ourselves it will get better.......

The nature of baby sleep changes at 12 weeks. Her sleep cycle is now like ours.

In the next few months, you need to teach her to self-sooth herself to sleep. They will pop up and scream as soon as you put them down until you teach them to relax when you put them down. There are lot of ways to teach her to be able to put herself to sleep. Some use the swing until 6 months and don't worry about it. I nursed until drowsy, put down, and repeated until they would roll over to sleep. I also introduced a transitional object at 10 weeks. I also used the 5 minute startle to reset the sleep cycle (5 minutes before they usually wake up from their nap, you go in and startle them enough that they roll over, this resets the sleep cycle and helps them to learn to consolidate their naps.)

My first nursed every 2 hours until 12 months. My second was a good sleep coming out of the box, but he became a great sleeper after taking the time to teach him to sleep. It took me 3 months, very little crying, but it worked. I used a bunch of different methods, but I started at 12 weeks with nursing till drowsy and then putting in crib. It would sometimes take 5 or 6 attempts before he would let me put him down, but within a few weeks, I could just put him down. It also didn't impact his night sleep. He had a good solid block before wanting to nurse at night. And then at 6 months, I used the baby whisperer hold CIO method to get him to skip his first feeding. So he only woke once a night.

12 weeks is to young to CIO and you will break trust and make her scared of her crib.

She is popping awake, btw, because she is overtired. Start trying to put her to bed earlier, by 15 minute increments.

I honestly hate to tell you this because I know you DO NOT want to hear it but....your baby sounds totally normal to me. I have 2 kids and believe me, at 3 months I would have been ecstatic at getting to sleep from 11p-4a. I think 3 months is still a bit young for cry it out (even though I know when your sleep deprived...it feels like they are plenty old enough) I didn't do cio at all with my daughter (who is 4 1/2) but did with my son around 5 or 6 months (he's now 2 1/2) and honestly they both didn't really sleep reliably all night every night until about 9 months. Hang in there.

I think you may have answered your own question. You said that "you have to hold her all day or she cries." That might be where you want to start. You (or your husband) cannot hold her all day. If she cries and you know she is not hungry, wet or gassy, then she is just upset that you put her down. It sounds like that may be the issue, since she is fine and will fall asleep in your arms, but when you put her down, she wakes up and doesn't like it. This is normal, but she needs to start to learn now to entertain herself in her swing or bouncy seat or with a mobile in her crib. Hope that helps. Certainly not being critical, who doesn't want to hold their baby? :) Hang in there, you'll figure it out and get sleep again, I promise!

Are you swaddling her?

The book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weisbluth helped us so much with both kids. He talks a lot about sleep schedules. I got my used copy from half.com for very little.

Good luck! I know how hard this can be.

R.

Unfortunately, the other moms here are right. This is completely normal. All three of my kids barely slept until they were about 6 months old.

The first few months are particularly rough, because they are growing so rapidly. But now that she's 3 months, you can probably start putting her down more and letting her cry a little bit until she calms herself down. It doesn't make you a bad mom to just let the baby cry. I mean, you are actually helping her learn how to self-soothe, which is a skill that every child needs.

I'm sure you've heard of of the Ferber method. A lot of moms don't agree with it, but I used it on all three of my kids and it worked. They are all in school now and all three of them are great sleepers. None of them were damaged by having to cry in their cribs a little bit!

It's a very difficult time you're having, but you will get through it. Hang in there!
http://keystosimpleliving.com/kids_bedtime.php

How long has this been going on? If its recent, have you noticed lots of slobber or chewing on hands or blankets? Use a clean finger and rub her gums, does that soothe her at all, does she try to chew it? Its possible she could be teething. My kiddo who is now three didnt start teething fevers until he was older. My teething twins, four months have had no fevers either. You might try a small dose of tylenol before the feeding if so. Just a thought. Sorry you aren't sleeping, I feel your pain!

Your brand new three month old is just that! Brand new! I have 4 kids under 7 and I know sleep is tricky. But babies want to be held and NEED to be held. Yes, I let my kids cry it out and they all survived, but not at three months. You are lucky to get the sleep you described. She still needs to eat and she will let you know. If you could possibly replace your frustration with the thrill of having a healthy, thriving, brand new baby, you might feel better. When my twins were 3 months, we found the swings to be magical and tried to keep the kids out of our bed. This phase will fly by and you will be presented with MORE fun challenges, but hold that baby and sleep will eventually come. Good luck!