Sleep Issues! - Paia,HI

I am in a very similar situation...single Mama with a co-sleeper and we live with my parents. I work full-time and my son goes with his Dad in the morning...so, it was either let my Mom deal with the hand-off or wake him up early.

Really my only savior was a steady and consistent routine at bedtime. I started our bedtime routine at around 7pm and even though some nights we'd lie there until he finally fell asleep at 9pm/10pm, over a few weeks he was in the swing of it and would fall asleep by 830pm and up by 630am-7am. To this day it's stil the same and he takes a 2-3 hour nap at around 1230pm everday.

Our bedtime routine is bath time, teeth/face cleaning, pick out PJ's, read a book or two, sing a song, say goodnight to the moon and stars and climb into bed at 8pm. And, cuddle until he's ready to fall asleep on his own...then, I get up and do what I need to do and try to be in bed for my own sleep by 10pmish, so I'm not a zombie the next day. But, sooo many times I benefit too from the early bedtime.

It's tough once you've got one routine to transition to another, but it's totally do-able with some patience and time.

Good luck! And, don't worry it can be better...I hated the crying and refuse to let my son cry it out for any reason.

A lot of kids will stay up late if you let them. Time to have a regular bedtime. Don't continue this unrealistic bedtime.It will only make it harder when she gets older.Between 8 -9 pm is not too early. She will be better for it. You know how you kind of drag when you go to bed late even if you sleep in. That has to be how she feels everyday. Start laying down with her around 8 when it's dark and a little later during daylight savings.Have a routine that she likes-reading bedtime stories saying prayers etc. It will take some time but I promise she will get used to the earlier time. Stick to it. It will be better for the both of you. D. G

What happens if you wake her up with you? That seems to be the most humane way to deal with this. If she wakes earlier in the AM, she will have a few days of adjustment, but at least she will wake up in a nice way and then your mom won't have to deal with the crying fit. She will adjust her own going-to-sleep schedule accordingly.

Hi R.,

Just wondering, who watches her when you go to school? Even at a day care of pre-school, they usually take kids that are still waking up.

I think that you're doing a great job by co-sleeping and not letting her cry it out.

My suggestion: do baths at night, try to get her to bed as early as you can. that way she's getting as much rest as possible since she'll have to get up earlier than she's used to. in the morning, get yourself ready and everything for her ready to walk out the door. I will try and play some lively kids music that i know she'll like. if she wakes up at all during this time, great. if not, continue with what you're doing and at the last minute, help her to the bathroom, brush teeth and get her dressed (even if it's like dressing a manequine). then load her in the car and hand her a baggy of dry cereal and a cup of milk. she can eat on the way there or wherever you're dropping her off.

eventually she'll adjust to sleeping and waking at slightly different times. you want to make sure that she's getting at least 11-14 hours of sleep during a 24 hour period.

good luck!

So when you get up turn on the lights put the news on or some radio program and start talking to her, wake up sweetie pie, time to wake up wake up tickle her, wakie wakie, start her on a new time, its gonna take a week for her to adjust but if you keep it the same time each day she will re adjust her self, now here is a another bit of advice that your going to say gawd lady your mean !! how long do you think the teachers should be ok with you being late, teachers will understand for only a short time, part of being at school is being there on time, why are you going to school to better your self for you and your daughter. If your worrying about your daughter means its hard to pay attention at school. When do you study when she is awake, and you have one eye on her and one eye on the books, this isn't going to last long,and end up failing the classes, you need to have her put to bed at no later than 8 pm, this gives you time to study and get a good nights sleep. A three hour nap is to long for her, try 1 1/2 wake her up, you have to stick to the same schudele at least 7 days in a row, do not mess it up or you have to start over again yes it will be hard .. yes you will be tired.. yes so will your mom, but its worth the hard 7 days... Good Luck,

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wow i cant even imagine my daughter whos 20 months going to bed that late. how old is your daughter anyways. what i would do is right around the time you want her to wake up start to gently rub her back and tell her come on sleepy head lets wake up. you may have to go as far as getting her undressed to disturb her enough to wake her. does she bathe in the morning or night. if in the morning then that should wake her up well lol. do you have a consistant bed time routine. thats very important with my daughter about 30 mins before shes in bed we get her in jammies brush her teeth comb her hair and then we read a story and cuddle for about 5-10 mins then shes off to her own bed (we dont co sleep like you). she will get used to not seeing you in the morning if she continues to not wake up. try to have your mom do her favorite things with her like a tv show she likes etc. hope this is helpful!

Yes, I think you're right, I think there IS a win win situation, it'll take time though. I wouldn't make her skip her nap, you'll just end up with a more tired kid :( I would start by moving her bedtime up by 15 minutes every two nights, within a week you'll be getting her to bed an hour earlier. Then you can start moving naptime up by 15 minutes, so that her nap and bedtime don't get closer and closer together. When you get bedtime to where you want it to be, start waking her in the morning when you want her up and then make sure she gets down for her nap right on time at it's new earlier time. Hopefully her body will get used to the new routine within a couple of weeks and she will start waking up a little earlier on her own. My almost four year old used to be a night owl too, but around age three I started rescheduling him and now he goes down at 7:30pm and up at 7:30am - no nap. And if you can keep your eyes open (haha) while putting her down early then you can get up after she falls asleep and do some of your homework. I loved cosleeping too, but getting my evenings back was very liberating! Now both our kids are in bed by 7:30 and we have two hours to ourselves before we crash too!

As described above I would get her going to sleep earlier gradiently. There's nothing wrong with gently waking your daughter up. If she doesn't like it at first, she'll get used to it. Also, to handle her getting upset that you're not there, tell her in a really positive way that grandma is going to be there in the morning instead of you. Make it a fun thing. Good luck, R.!

Sounds like she needs more of a set schedule now that you are in school. If you want her to wake up with you, then make sure she is getting enough sleep at night. Going to bed at 10:30-12:00? I feel that a 2 1/2 year old should never go to sleep that late. You might want to cut out the breast feeding too. That always seems to complicate things (at that age) They really don't need your milk anymore.
It also sounds like your little one is running the show.......
Good luck!