Sleep Ideas for 9 Year Old

Updated on December 16, 2008
J.T. asks from Sylmar, CA
22 answers

My daughter is 9 years old and has the most difficult time falling asleep at night. Whether she goes to bed at 8 and reads for 30 minutes or more OR goes to bed at 9 without reading (b/c it is too late) she still lays awake for a long time, sometimes almost 10pm. Even warm milk at bedtime doesn't seem to help. Of course she is SOOOO tired in the morning and I feel awful that she is not getting enough sleep (the alarm is set for 7, she will sleep until I get her up). I know our inconsistent sleep time is NOT helping (especially the weekends where she stays up later and sleeps in---but I am working on getting that closer to 9pm). ANY suggestions out there?????

Thank you!
J.

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R.L.

answers from San Diego on

Does she still follow a bedtime routine? I was just reading an article about how important it is, even as a child gets older. Maybe start a mellow routine of taking a shower at 7pm. Watching a little tv afterwards, having a snack, brush teeth, read in bed, then lights out at 830pm.

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K.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

HI J.. The key is that you said that everything was great before the summer when she was going to bed at 8:00. What happens when we stay up past the point of being sleepy is that we secrete a hormone called cortisol that acts like adrenaline. Your daughter is getting a second wind from the cortisol which makes it very hard to fall asleep. You have to try very hard to get her to bed earlier so that she does not get over tired. She doesn't need medicine, she just needs an earlier bedtime.
Good Luck
K. Smith-Sleep Consultant and Parenting coach
www.theindependentchild.com

2 moms found this helpful
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V.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

the stucture seems to be important to you. children also need some time to "do just nothing" and these days the daydreaming is not easy to come by: )
as far as homeopathic remedies - getting a "mix" is not the best way to try homeopathy. 3X potency mix in Calms Forte may not be best option if what she needs is individually selected remedy AND potency.make sure you use Classicical Homeopath (CCH) for that. here is the link to one of those. pay attention to C.C.H letters after the name.
http://home.att.net/~olenev/articles10.htm


V

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Gosh, the poor girl! It must frustrate her as well, I'm sure.

My girl is only 6 years old, but I have found that at bedtime she gets so wound up, because she has a lot of stuff to unwind about... the whole day! So, before bedtime, we sit together... (she likes to chat and cuddle), and I just let her talk story and "connect" with me and we just hang out/talk/chit chat/ do girl talk etc. and then this seems to "relax" her. Then she seems less pent up or tense. I also sometimes give my girl a back massage... and this really helps her to unwind.

My girl is just very cerebral & imaginative... and she just has a hard time shutting off her brain....or she will go on and on and on just wanting to talk and think and she can talk forever! Or yes, we read a book.

There is also something called "Hyland's Calms Forte" (kids or adult versions) which is a homeopathic alternative and has no contraindications and is not habit forming. Lots of adults or kids use it when traveling etc. or to aide in calming. Being that it is homeopathic, it will either work or it won't. Some adults take it for stress or insomnia too. Anyway, I have used it when my kids were teething and it seemed to help. My friend uses it when they travel, because they travel a lot, and she said it helps her kids. That is how I learned about it. And no, it is NOT a "tranquilizer" or sleep aide..

Or, the brand "Animal Parade" makes something called "Animal Parade Warm Milk" supplements. It is to help kids relax and sleep better. The main ingredient being magnesium. From what I gather, per the Owner of the natural food store I go to... "magnesium" can really help relieve stress and help to calm and sleep, in some people.

Also though, is your daughter perhaps eating anything that may contain caffeine? Young kids nowadays seem to be eating/drinking things that are caffeinated... (I read about it in the newspaper recently), and unbeknownst to Parents, this is getting them too "wired" and causing problems.

Perhaps also, she is at the age where developmentally they are changing so much... maybe this can cause a problem with sleep....just as would happen in babies. ???

All the best, just some ideas & natural products, hope it helps,
Susan

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L.A.

answers from San Diego on

My son had this problem when he was 8. We tried everything we could think of, including most of the ideas below, but nothing really helped long-term. We finally found some audio products that really helped a lot. Indigo Dreams is one, and Indigo Ocean Dreams is the other. I found them on Amazon.com. They are CDs specifically designed to help kids relax and go to sleep, and they really did the trick for my son. At the start, he would listen to one or two or even three of the "stories" as he lay in bed, and they actually taught him how to relax himself, settle down and go to sleep. After a few weeks, it only took one story. And after a few months he didn't need them anymore. At first I was a bit leery, because the cover seemed really "New Age", and I am a Christian... so i reviewed the stories first, and most were just fine. Simple de-stress, relax stories. A few of them we did not use just because of personal preference. We put the stories on his iPod nano so I could pick and choose. At any rate, they worked wonders and were only needed for a relatively short while. We have not had a sleeping problem since.

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S.B.

answers from Visalia on

Hi J.,

My oldest son went through the same thing around that age. He really tried to get to sleep earlier but his body just wasn't ready. It was not a manipulation. I finally just realized he was okay to go to bed at ten. Sometimes all that trying is harder on them. Now he brushes his teeth at 9:50 and goes to bed and falls asleep right away. Mornings are the same as yours but once he is up he isn't dragging all day or anything. Is she involved in sports or any real physical activities? That might help her be more tired but sometimes it can wind them up too. Do what works for your situation don't get to caught up in what the "recomended" amount of sleep for kids is. That has never seemed to apply for our family. Good luck! By the way what do you do from home? I also work from home and am always interested in how others work their home based biz!? ____@____.com
All the best! S.:)

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K.H.

answers from San Diego on

Do your daughter a huge favor and get her "silent nights" sleep patches by Lifewave and or the homeopathic sleep spray (goes in your mouth). IT WORKS. It is safe for kids. If my 7 year old is having a hard time going to sleep, he will ask me for the patches. He is asleep within 15 min. and he wakes up happy and rested. Other moms from mamasource have tried this product with great success. Go to Lifewave.com/kherihealth for more info or to order.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.T.

answers from San Diego on

Hi J.,
We have a 9 yr old too! :-)
My suggestions to you would be to keep her on a schedule as best you can even on the weekends. Example: my son wakes at 6:45 ansd goes to bed at 8:00 EVERYDAY....otherwise he gets out of wack and it takes days to get his sleep cycle back on track. We also are very strict about no caffeinated drinks, very minimal sugar or chocolate, and he eats a well balanced diet throughout the day. Another important factor for my 9 yr old is getting physical exercise each day...sports, gymnastics, dance,...whatever works for your daughter may really help her. Best of luck to you and her!

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D.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

Have you checked what she is eating and drinking? You might want to make sure she doesn't have any caffeine or sugar after four or five.

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M.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

With my 9 year old, I have just let her know that even if she is just laying there, her body is still resting, which lets her know it is ok, and she seems to relax a bit. I think hormones have started to increase a bit and sometimes, as women, we have sleep difficulties, it is a part of getting older and dealing with lifes issues in our own way. I know all the woman in my family have some trouble with sleeping at least once a week, so it is "normal" for us, a bit. Also, the more I have her do outside, like poop patrol and playing with her sister, even throwing a ball around for awhile with the dog will get her body a bit more tired by bedtime. She would prefer to sit in front of the tv or computer all evening, so it is a struggle, but if I'm out there she'll go just fine. And you might want to cut back/out caffeine from her diet to help her sleep as well. Good luck!

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B.B.

answers from Honolulu on

Try staying with her in bed and talking to her to see why she doesn't want to go to sleep. She may be having nightmares and has developed a fear from something. Talk and be with your children. They will feel trust and warmth from you if you can take the time to even sleep with them one night when you don't have to work in the morning.

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M.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I wondered how much exercise your daughter is getting? Perhaps a little more physical activity might help. I know that it makes a difference in getting my son to sleep earlier.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I went through this with my daughter. We finally relented and let her stay up later since it seemed torturous to make her lay there for hours. Some people are just on different schedules. Certain foods can affect the ability to sleep while some can help with sleep - read more here: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/4/t042400.asp You might try giving her melatonin - it helps with sleep and is naturally and safe. Good luck!

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C.B.

answers from San Diego on

Go to any book store (I love Barnes & Noble) and buy a book on hand massage/reflexology. Use a little bit of lavendar massage oil, and give your daughter a hand massage on each hand as you are putting her to bed. I do this with mt son and dughter when they are having difficulty falling asleep, and they are usually nodding off or asleep before I finish!!

Best wishes!!

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L.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter has a hard time staying a sleep through the night so I started giving her Hylands Calm Forte to help her and it has worked wonders. I just started using it last week and she has not had any problems sleeping since she started taking it. It is an all natural remedy and she wakes up refreshed from a good nights sleep. Hope this helps.

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Melatonin. It is natural, an antioxidant, inexpensive, works. Go to a health food store or online to Kirkman Labs. One mg about 1/2 hour to an hour before bedtime is good for my daughter and my son has trouble staying asleep so he does the 2.5 Slow release one.

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

my 9 yr old grandson has always had trouble getting to sleep, no matter what time he goes to bed. His mind cannot just turn off. Milk, warm bath, 15 min of TV before bed and then he can read as long as he wants until he falls asleep, it is the only thing that settles his mind and body so he can fall asleep. In addition, soft music (no lyrics) playing in the background is a big help too. He tries very hard to fall asleep, so it is not because he wants to stay awake. A shower in the morning helps to get him fully awake in the morning for school. His 6 yr old brother can turn the light off and instantly fall asleep.

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K.J.

answers from San Diego on

When I had those issues my father put on classical music very softly that timed out after an hour. generally listening to something like that or very low nature sounds the 'white' noise would have me asleep in 15 mins. I don't ever remember being awake when the sound would turn itself off.

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D.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi. I had the same issue with my 7 year old. She has been falling asleep and staying asleep for the past 3 weeks! How you ask????? Melatonin. They sell chewable Melatonin at Trader Joes. It is 500 mcg which is .5mg. I gave her one each night and she falls asleep within 10 minutes! It is amazing. My friend told me about this as her doctor recommeded it for her son. I asked my pediatrician and he said it is safe for short periods of time (weeks or a couple of months). Once your daughter gets back on her normal schedule, which could be in less than a week, you won't need to use it every night. If my girls are overstimulated at night, I give them a 1/2 and it puts them to sleep. Good luck! Dena

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

EXERCISE! My twin daughters were in the same boat. We joined a swim team and they swim HARD for an hour and a half 5 days a week, they sleep like ROCKS. On the days that they don't swim they have so much excess energy they drive me crazy... and then they don't sleep as well. It has been challenging to fit that much activity into our schedule, but it's been totally worth it! They're more fit, happpier and enjoy the competition.

Another simple idea: Try eating dinner a little earlier too to reset her body clock.

Good Luck!
S.

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M.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Coffea Cruda homeopathic works really good for this problem. Go to the wellness center. TAlk to Kim there. good luck,
M. R

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T.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I can relate to your daughter - I have never been a great sleeper. Even with a lot of physical activity during the day and various sleep techniques. Some people are just born insomniacs!

One thing that does help me get drowsy these days is chamomile tea. it is totally natural and totally safe. Get the organic kind. Brew it double strength for her and if she would like it sweeter, have her add some honey or agave.

Of course if she seems to be lacking in the physical activity department, make sure she gets plenty of exercise during the day as well.
Another thing you can try is to just have her use her bed for sleeping - do the reading (or anything else such as eating, drinking, writing, or tv-watching) in a different spot.

Something I have never tried but heard good things about is a homeopathic remedy called Calms Forte. I believe Hylands makes it.

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