Sleep Deprived Mom - Capitola,CA

Try using Hyland's brand Calms. It works great for me when I wake up in the middle of the night. Also, deep breathing and relaxation exercises...

Good luck.

Hi S., I'm in my early 50's and have developed insomnia the past couple of years(mostly thinking and worrying about various problems) and I find reading a boring book or watching a boring movie or program on T.V. will knock me out. Even if I have to fall asleep on the couch. There are also a few herbal sleep aids like Chamomile tea. Hope this helps you some, and get some more ZZZ's. CJ

I've found something that helps me when I wake up at night and my brain won't settle down. I listen to an audiobook, one I've listened too before. The act of listening to the words distracts my brain from everything else going through it, and allows me to settle down.

I use an MP3 player and download books through the local library system.

Good luck!

I manage a medical spa in Redding, California. In addition, my husband and I have an organic farm where I produce a line of essential oil products. One of my products, "Sleep Salts" has been incredibly beneficial in helping me and scores of others achieve a full night's sleep. (I and several of my friends are insomniacs who can get to sleep but wake up within a couple of hours then lie awake the rest of the night. My father and a few of my other clients have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep due to pain from deteriorating injuries.) You simple open the vial and smell the aromas until you no longer register a scent, roll over and drop off to sleep. A small vial, 1/3 oz, should last 6-months to a year and sells for $8. You can email me at ____@____.com if you'd like more info. Good luck!

Poor thing -- waking up and not being able to fall back asleep is the worst, isn't it? I go through periods where that happens, and it's usually associated with more than the usual amount of stress. You wake up and your stupid mind can't stop thinking. For me the pills don't do the trick after 1 or 2 nights, and the only thing that gets me back to sleep within an hour is reading. Tiring my eyes out does the trick. If I turn on the tv it's all over -- I can watch tv in the middle of the night for hours.

It sucks -- good luck.

S., maybe you should visit your dr. - You are going thru alot now and need to take care of yourself (so you can care for your kids)It does help to get things off your chest with a good dr visit! Don't worry if they want to put you on some med's for a while as they really do help if the right dose and med is used! Lack of sleep and feeling anxious could lead to panic attacks and those are not fun (mostly scary) Good luck and remember ....you deserve to feel your best...for you and your family!!
regards,
D.

Hi S.,
What I sense from your request is that you are lacking peace in your life. You are going through a major change, and you may feel some sadness for losing the "family unit" for your boys. You can get through this by getting quiet with yourself, stop thinking and feeling bad. Try yoga (class or DVD), make it a space in your day to concentrate on your breath and not think. This will invigorate your body and relax it to help you sleep. In time you will stop yourself from thinking of the past and move forward, with peace.

Also, Ambien does not let a body get REM (deep) sleep, so you are not resting as much as you could naturally.
Wishing you strength and peace....

Hi S.,
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. It happened to me at one point, and actually at my yearly doctor's appointment, my doctor pointed out that I seemed especially sad. After talking to him about some of these health concerns that I had (not being able to sleep, feeling shaky and upset all the time, crying for "no good reason" etc.) he determined that I was actually depressed. He put me on a very small dose of Zoloft and in about a week I felt like a new person. Right away I was able to sleep through the night, which in turn helped me feel so much better. I didn't obsess as much over every little thing and my anxiety went away. Like you, I had been going through some very emotionally draining events with my family, work, etc. I stayed on the medication for about 2 years and then slowly went off of it, and have felt fine since.

So maybe this is not what you're going through, but in any event I think it's a good idea to see your doctor and talk about any medical reasons that might be underlying your sleeplessness.

Good luck to you and I hope you find something that works for you soon!

Try the Ambien CR, which is designed for this very thing. After my ex left me I had the same problem -- couldn't shut off my mind thinking about everything. Also, light, brisk exercise (like a fast walk around the block) can help, as does a glass of milk, and no caffeine of any sort (including chocolate) after 6 pm!!

I have had a terrible time with sleeping and not being able to fall asleep if I wake up during the night for many reasons over my life....most recently my baby (now one). The biggest help for me is regular exercise..good, intense cardio seems to really help my mood and my sleeping. You have a lot going on so it's probably a healthy stress relief for you too...aside from all the other benefits!
Good luck!!!!
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz :-)

I've had similar problems, and read that eating Humus spread on pita bread could help. And it couldn't hurt. Another method I've used is reading. It usually makes me sleepy, unless its an extraordinarily interesting book. If you are truly tired you will fall asleep when you get your mind off the negative things and think on the pleasing things. Good luck and sweet dreams.
E. C.

I know what you are going through, being divorced myself. Try some warm milk, banana. I did the same thing and I felt my daughter deserved more. It does get better. Also try some tylenol pm. Good Luck :)

From: Lincoln,ca

Another apartment would be better, I don't like noises when I sleep. The dog barking, sirens passing or kids yelling, or tv blaring. If you like music, play it in your room when you doze off. I fall asleep watching tv, and wake up a while later. My dogs bark at anyone who comes in my room, even the kids. If your a cafeine drinker, that might contribute to lack of sleep.
Being separated from someone can cause that problem. I live with roommates, and its annoying with all the noise. I had a man live with me, gone all night,come home and turn the light on in the middle of the night. I was losing sleep and I got mad at him for it. I suffer from depression and don't sleep well either.
It will take time for you to get used to being on your own with him. Enjoy the time with your sons. Try not to focus on what you had, and enjoy what you got. I raise three boys and they are a handful, I get stressed out alot. Hope this helps!

Stacy,
There is more going on here than missing sleep! Please find a doctor who you can speak with and will listen to you and explain your situation. Anxiety about your situation will disturb your sleep and make your grouchy.

Are you eating? Sincerely, Pat

Hi S.

One thing you migth want to take a closer look at IF you haven't already, but during the day, are you consuming a lot of caffeine, for example not just in coffee, but soda and in other food products? sleep deprivation is a vicious cycle to get out of.. b/c the more tired you are, the more caffeine and or sugar you may consume. Also, have you tried camomile tea, when I can't sleep , I drink the celestials seasons , sleepy time. I find it wks well AND of course, exercise, which b/c u are so tired, you probably haven't been able to do? these are the things that wk for me .. it's worth a try. good luck

Hi S.,
I just want to encourage you and your sons. Life changes such as the one you and your sons are going through are always difficult. Do you belong to a church that may have a support group? If not, check out some of the local churches in your area, some have wonderful counselors and/or pastors that are willing to just listen to you.
In the meantime, there is a hoemopathic remedy called Calms Forte and you can get it at The Vitamin Shoppe or probably any health food store. If you do purchase this get the one for kids the label is blue and has a moon on it. My husband tried the adult strenght and he said it actually kept him awake.
Lord bless,
T.

I have survived with many nights with a lack of sleep. For me the best has been to meditate. Just follow your breathing, slowing it down and letting any negative thoughts pass when they do come, return to your breathe. Focus on each part of your body that is stressful and relax it. This should help you relax. If you don't go to sleep at least you are calming your body down during a very stressful time. Also some soft music can help block your inner critic and help focus your thoughts on relaxation. If you find that you cannot sleep after 20 minutes, get out of bed and do something then try again.

Hi S. -

This sounds oh so familiar....! This sounds like a reaction to stress - and it sounds like you've been under a ton of it lately-! If you are worrying about a lot of things and are emotionally spent, your body can't balance properly enough to shut down for sleep. Yes - there are herbal remedies that help- rescue remedy by Bach flower remedies, and a nervous fatigue formula might help. A Chinese medicine doctor can help you find the right herbs to help balance you.

However, these are all temporary fixes. If you can find a way to balance your emotions over time, and eliminate absolutely everything that is non-essential, you need to find a way to reduce the amount of stress in your life - I know it is a period of transition, and some things are out of your control, but if you can, try to simplify things that are in your control. Eat really well. Eliminate emotional and physical clutter and take care of yourself so you can take care of your kids.

I haven't gone through a divorce, but I've gone through other major trauma, and know how devastating stress can be on your body and mind.

Hang in there - that's the thing about going through really difficult times - usually the only direction left is up and out :)

Hi S.,

How frustrating for you! MonaVie has worked for me and countless others in helping to sleep better at night and feel that they are well rested. It is an all natural fruit juice with 19 different fruits in it. It helps in a lot of other different ways as well. Let me know if you are interested in giving it a try.

Do NOT take any herbal supplements if you are also taking Ambien or any other medications. Please talk to your doctor/pharmacist first. Combing non-prescription medications/herbal supplements with other medications can be dangerous or deadly!!! I have had very similar sleeping problems in the recent past. After talking to my primary care doc about it, it was determined that I was suffering from depression and anxiety. Once those were under control, my sleeping patterns improved greatly. I still have night where I wake up after only a couple of hours, but they are fewer and farther between. In your brief description of what is going on in your life, it seems like you have some pretty significant life changes going on and those could very well lead to some depression and anxiety. In addition to talking to your doc about your symptoms, finding other moms who are going through similar situations, or a support group can be really helpful as well. I hope you find some support and a good night's sleep!

Acupuncture is great and really does not hurt at all.
It helps with the mind racing thing....

Try taking tylenol pm. Put a little bottle of milk or smoothie in a bowl with ice next to your bed. This will keep it cool, When you wake up take 1-2 pm.s with drink to coat your stomach. Make sure you have time to sleep In other words dont do it if you wake at 4am and have to get up at 6.

Hope this works

Hi S., as I'm sure you are aware your not being able to sleep most likely has a lot to do with your current situation which is going to take some getting used to. It's hard "starting over" and settling into an apartment. Your best bet is to try to deal with it the best you can. Maybe counseling or joining a support group would help. Knowing there are other women going through what you're going through and having another adult to talk to about how you're feeling and dealing with all the emotions of a divorce and being a single parent can be very helpful. Holding it in is just not healthy.
Also, try making a to-do list before you go to bed. That way what you need to do tomorrow is done on paper and you can relax and not worry about forgetting to get something done.
I read to get to sleep. Good luck!

I suffer from insomnia. A friend of mine gave me a sound machine and it has made a huge difference in my sleep. I turn it on as soon as I wake up in the night and I go back to sleep. You can get cheap to expensive ones. Walmart.com has one for about 20 dollars that works pretty good and it has a timer on it. They are also called white noise machines.

S.-

Sorry to hear you are having so much trouble sleeping. I also went through the same type of restlessness however it was due to work. I went through a year of having insomnia and anxiety attacks; they were also worse on Sunday night because i knew Monday morning i'd have to go to work. I know what you mean about your mind not wanting to shut-off. Most of the time i wasn't sure if i was dreaming about work or physically awake and thinking about it. I never did take medication but realized that i was not only overwhelemd by work but also depressed and just didn't realize it. Whatever is going on in the mind of yours is continually helping you beat yourself up. Surrend to it and just tell yourself "I can't do it all". I used to make myself a list everyday of things i wanted to accomplish and it felt good when I could cross something off. I also found that when i was woken up by an anxiety attack it was due to remembering something i did/didn't do. So keep a scratchpad next to you incase you wake up with the same feeling; atleast you can write it down and then hopefully get back to sleep. I hope some of this helps.

Hi S.,
My name is I. and I came 2 years a go in US. I am from Romania and this big change in my life affected the quality of my sleep. I wasn't sleeping well here, but every time when I went back home my sleep was great.
Three months a go I discovered a healthy fruit juice the already improved the quality of my sleep. Now I sleeping profoundly all night, I have more energy during the day and I have a better mood. I wake up smiling and the tone of things I need to do all day don't seem so overwhelming anymore. I met other people who told me that they have a much better sleep after drinking this juice. At the beginning I didn't believe them, but now I am convince this is working. They worked at Sisco or HP in a stressful environment that caused them a sleep problem.

The name of this juice is Mona Vie. Let me know if you want to try it.

Also I am learning about Emotional Freedom Techniques. I downloaded a free manual from their website and I am studying right know. I don't know yet if is working, but they have a lot of video positive testimonials.

What I learned the last 2 years is don't look back of what you lost, look forward to what you can have from now on, how many things the life has to offer.

I also read some books and watch movies that empower me to over come the trauma. Having a lot of friends willing to help you is good also. Mona vie gave me a lot of friends and is helping me to achieve my burning goal: to help people to be healthier and have a better quality of life. I am not a doctor, but I don't like the fact that the majority of doctors don't see the patients as a very complex system with energy, subconscious mind and physical body.

I hope this answer is not too long for your time.
Hugs

This is not a medical advice and Mona Vie is not a drug is a food. This is only my experience and does not have commercial purpose.

Hi, I have your same problem. I can't seem to shut my mind down and to make matters worse my neighbors have people coming and going all night long. I have found that if I go to bed with an audio book it really helps. I concentrate on the story instead of my mind wandering all over the place, and if I wake up in the middle of the night I just pick up the story where I dozed off before. The Harry Potter audio books are wonderful if you want to give that try. If that doesn't work I have also found yoga helps to ease my anxiety and sleep more soundly. Good luck.

I'm a mom and nurse with chronic insomnia...I've tried everything but I finally found something that really works for me. Its called Lunesta. Maybe it would work for you too. It doesn't give me that hung over feeling in the morning either. Good luck, I wish you the best. Hang in there.

Dear S.,

Those of us who have gone through a divorce can relate. It hasd been 8 years for me and I still will have relapces.

Some of what you are feeling sounds like depression. You may check with your MD. I have gone to more of a natural means the following has helped me

5-HTP 100mg for my moods
Valerian root for sleep

I was out of my 5-HTP and a friend gave me a product from Solaray called Malic Acid with magnesium plus 5-htp and other important nutrients this product has helped but you have to take it early in the evening about mayby an hour before bed time as it will make you sleepy but i found if I didn't get my required sleep I would feel a little groggy when I first got up but it went away soon afterward. I hope this will help I know I have the same problem. I am 53 and have been alone now for 8 years after being married for 21 years and my children (3 sons) have all grown up and I feel so alone and have times when I feel life is so unfair. But then I have to put on my Christian music and start praising God and counting my blessings, He is my comfort and my joy.

R.

I have not had this problem, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're going through it. Let us know how it goes and good luck!

Hi S.,

I'm sorry about your major life change, it sounds like it hasn't been easy. Could you be having trouble sleeping because of the stress? Have you tried yoga or t'ai chi? They sound so foreign to a lot of people, but they are systems of exercise that have been used for thousands of years and they really do amazing (even miraculous) things for the human brain and body. Clinical studies show that they actually help cancer patients get into and stay in remission, they reduce hypertension and heart desease, as well as diabetes and arthritis, and they just make you feel good. I cannot recommend them enough, they are life changing. Best of luck.

PS I hope you'll try to stay away from the Ambien, that stuff has gnarly side effects and there are alternatives that don't.

I've had the same problem - I'm able to fall asleep initially (due to exhaustion), but when I wake up a few hours later, my mind won't shut down and I can't fall asleep again. My doctor recommended melatonin (3 mg) which is the substance our bodies produce to help us fall asleep.

There is no grogginess involved, just like natural sleep. It is available at drugstores, whole foods, etc, in the supplement section. Of course ask your doctor before taking supplements-especially if you're taking other meds. The trick for me has been to take it and go immediately back to bed and maybe read a book (not too exciting!) for a few minutes. If I get on the computer or get up to get something done, forget it! Oh, and I take it WHEN I wake up in the night, not before going to bed. But you can google it and see what other people do.

I would change sleep meds. Ambien wasn't for me. Rozerem workked because it works by resetting your internal clock so you will sleep. Also make an appointment w/ a psychiatrist. You might be suffering from depression after your divorce and not realize it. It's okay to get help. Also just be good to yourself. You don't have to be perfect. Your sons love you no matter what. You've had a life changing experience, divorce, and so have they. Can you call on relatives, friends, to share in some of the child rearing tasks. It's a big job, don't go it alone, remember it takes a village...

Hi S.,
I would suggest going to a Natural store or Whole Foods and ask for a natural sleeping medicine. When I went through a period of strong emotional stress I was taking "Holy Basil". It was incredibly helpful. There was no chemical feeling, it just allowed me to relax and fuction on a healthy level. My mother always tells me to meditate when I wake up in the middle of the night. Might Help.
Sending you lots of ZZZZZZZZZZ
J.

Hi S.,

I know its so hard to not get the sleep you need. Have you tried a white noise maker? That helps me get back to sleep and also using the fan on low. Also, when you wake up anxious, write down everything that is on your mind at that moment- don't analyze or try to figure it out- just write it down. ( I keep a pad of paper and pen by my bed). This helps tremendously to clear your mind of any thoughts. Hope this helps.

Molly

Insomnia is a very tough thing to deal with especially with young ones who get up at their regular times regardless of how you feel. I could never bring myself to take anything for it because I would only worry more that I would not wake up if I really needed to (for my kids or whatever reason).

Another natural remedy you can try is GoChi or Himalayan Goji Juice. It has research studies that support better sleep quality, reduced fatigue and increased energy. A lot of people I know have found it very helpful.

Good luck!
S.

I am prone to sleep issues myself. When I have found myself up late tossing and turning-always over my children's welfare, I have found getting up and writing in my journal my fears and concerns, wishes, etc. It gets whatever is plaguing me off my mind and allows me to go back to sleep.