The last two weeks have been a nightmare. My son has decided that be no longer wants to sleep on his room. Our routine has not changed, there's been no changes in anything. He's never had an issue sleeping in bis room before. He loves his room. He was sleeping 8-7. And now He's just doesn't want to sleep in his room. I put him down and he starts screaming and gets hysterical. I have tried resleep training him, I've sat in bed with him, next to him, in the rocking chair. He'll fall asleep but when I'm just about out of his room, he jumps up screaming again. So the last few nights I've just given up and put him in bed with me. But he doesn't go to sleep. He wants to sit up playing and talking. By the time he gets to bed it's 1am and like clock work up at 7. I am EXHAUSTED and beyond frustrated. Im not getting any sleep, and I can't take another week of this. I dont know what to do. I've tried everything and nothing is working. what can I do?
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He is 29months. He's been in a toddler be since he turned two. He slept on the floor for a while, but then started sleeping in his bed just fine. He talks very well. I don't believe it's nightmarers because his screaming starts the second I walk out of his room. We coslept when he was first born, then transitioned him to his crib at 6 months. We do not want to cosleep again! So that is out of the question! Prior to the last couple of weeks, I was sat in his room till he fell asleep and would leave once he was out, but he'd hear me leave and wake up. And it'd start all over again. Lastnight I just let him scream it out and he screamed for an hour! He's been in preschool since January. He loves going. And always asks to go. I guess we will just walk him back to his bed quietly until he stays and goes to sleep. Thanks for all the advice.
can you wear him out with some pool time or long walks outside.
Even if he normally has soda and hasn't had a problem,I would still look into cutting that out, or any easter chocolate, etc.
Bath before bed, slow elongated night time routine. starting much much earlier.
Ear infection might be a possiblity too.
Have you tried letting him scream himself to sleep after explaining that it's time for bed and he's not going to be joining you in your bed since he won't go to sleep once he's there? Mine pulled that stunt about a year back. Took one night of 45 minutes of snot-filled screaming before she passed out and everything went back to normal. Regain your sanity and put your foot down. He's not sick. He's not dying. He's pushing boundaries. Draw your line in the sand and stay firm.
I agree let him cry all my kids have gone thru this it took a while but they eventually stop! Now your telling him he does not have to go to bed if he screams and cries he can just play in yours
your son is learning how to control you....sorry - doesn't matter what age he is - he is testing his boundaries and realizing every day they are changing and expanding. You have tried something new every day - instead of trying it for one week or longer - changing it everyday - doesn't give him a routine - making it every day for a week, does.
If he's still a baby (under 1) - limit his naps during the day to two - an AM (around 10AM and a 2PM)...make sure his schedule is firm.
If he's a toddler (2 to 3) - one nap per day...if he gets cranky - so be it.
In the evening - bath, brush (hair and teeth), book, bed - same routine. Low lights and soft music or white noise - my boys love to have their radio on to a classical station...
If he wakes up at 1AM - so be it - he can play in HIS BED NOT YOURS. He MAY NOT LEAVE HIS ROOM. If he's a baby and no longer nursing at night - as you said he was sleeping the night through so this shouldn't be an issue - have safe toys for him to play with in his crib.
The more you give this attention - the longer it will last. DO NOT let him CONTROL YOU. YOU ARE THE PARENT. Set the boundaries, set the limits and do not move the lines so there is no confusion.
Hi J B, I hear your distress, so let me try and help you see a couple things, I've been a mom for 27 years. First sleeping in his own bed is not his decission to make, by you giveing in and putting him in bed with you, you have taught him that if he screams he gets what he wants and so now he has some power over you. You didn't mention his age, if he;s in a bed i'm going to assume he is old enough to be disciplined. Your son is in control of your sleep or lack there of, you have given your son power he is not suppose to have, take charge and don't allow this type of bahavior. J.
If he is about 2 then I think it's a phase. At 2 I think all kids go through a weird sleep thing and it can be really hard on everyone. I think you're going to have to let him cry it out. Explain during the day that you will have a new routine and even if he gets upset you're going to have to leave him in his room, etc. If you've tried bringing him to your bed and it's not working then stop doing that. I was never one for cosleeping, not for us, although some people swear by it. I think as difficult as it is, do your sleep training thing and when you leave you leave. Tell him before you begin that this is how it will work. Good luck, I feel for you!!
My two year old went through this. He suddenly started screaming when bedtime came. He was keeping his sister up in the next room. I tried everything and what finally worked was a reward chart. His sister (who is 5) was doing chores and getting checkmarks for them and he always asked about her checkmarks, so I made a bedtime chart for him and he got a checkmark if he went to bed without screaming. I thought there was no way this could possibly be so simple, but it worked! Now, if he starts to whimper at all, I just tell him that if he screams, he won't get his checkmark and he stops. Then, in the morning, he will wake up and ask for his checkmark. Maybe try some sort of reward? Give him some stickers on a chart and get a toy that he can have after a certain number of tantrum free nights? I certainly wouldn't let him start cosleeping now unless you AND your husband agree to this approach. The Supernanny method works too if you are consistent and are willing to be more persistent than they are (meaning, you ignore the screaming and if he gets out of bed, you lead him back without speaking to him over and over until he stops getting up). It's exhausting, but once he knows you mean business, it should stop.
Sorry you're going through this. It certainly is maddening, but I agree with the other posters who have said this is a phase. Handle it appropriately and it should be a short lived one. Good luck!
Hi JB. Some questions:
1. How old is your son?
2. Is he going through changes at daycare/kindergarten/school?
3. Is he getting adequate stimulation, physical activity?
4. Is he hungry, cold, hot, uncomfortable??
5Is he scared of anything?
I hope this list helps. Jilly
You don't mention how old your son is... but I'd START with him in your bed to see how that goes. Some children just won't be denied about wanting to sleep with a loving safe body, especially Mommy. If he's finally old enough to show and react to fears of being alone in a darkened room without a feeling of safety - he will be adamant about not staying there. If you fight him too much, you'll get the reaction of being awake due to all the stimulation and anxiety he's having.
You say nothing has changed and sometimes children, especially 2 year olds from what your profile says, pick battles over things to see what we will do and to establish their autonomy (dressing, eating, sleeping, etc. etc.) Did you always have to stay with him till he fell asleep or is this a new thing? That is the key habit that would need to change. I'm assuming that if he didn't cosleep before, you don't want to start now. If you do, go for it--but it doesn't sound like that he is sleeping any better with you. Try Supernanny method or Baby Whisperer method--you are there at least but you are establishing that you are in control, not him. A few other questions--
Is he still in a crib or have you recently moved him to a toddler bed? Even if he did fine at first in the bed he may have discovered he can leave it:) If he is still in a crib, he may be ready for a bed. Mine started balking at the crib after age 2 and the mattress on the floor worked well.
Maybe he's having night mares?? and can't communicate this to you. It looks like he is two years old. How well does he talk? Try talking to him about sometimes we have dreams -like stories in our head-while we are sleeping. ask Does that ever happen to you? My son went thru this closer to age 4 so he was able to say "I dont like the movies at night. I dont want to go to sleep because of the movies" I kept assuring him they were not real.
Your last poet was about moving to bed. Did he ever get used to the toddler bed? Mine slept on the floor for MONTHS after I got rid of his crib. as long as he slept I reminded myself Kids all over the world sleep on floors and would be grateful for the thick carpeting, pillow and blankets. It helped when we moved his bed closer to the door and left the door open he like hearing us moving around the house and learned to stay in his room. Good luck -nothing worse than No sleep.
If your son is over nine months old, it might be separation anxiety. In that case you just need to create a consistent routine every night so he knows what to expect. Just remind him when you put him down that you will see him tomorrow. He may cry in his crib for few nights and he might be a little grumpy the next day.
If you do not want to let him cry, then you can bring a mattress into his room and sleep in there until he gets used to sleeping in his bed. Then once he is soundly asleep you can leave the room.
