Sleep and Nursing Issues

I just night weaned my 20 month old. I just told him that if the moon was out and it's night time that he doesn't get milk anymore because he's a big boy - not a baby. So if he wakes up, either go back to sleep with his blankies or daddy will come in and give him water if he's thirsty. Sometimes he wakes and as soon as my husband goes in, he looks at him and lays right back down. I still wish he wouldn't wake at all -as the monitor goes off and still disrupts my sleep. But it's a process. RIght now he wakes at 5am though. He knows he's allowed to have milk when the sun is up and it's daytime and he thinks 5am is long enough to wait. So we're working on that. So try explaining in simple terms that he doesn't get milk at night. Just before bed and when the sun comes up. Good Luck!

Maybe try putting him down an hour earlier for bed? I know that sounds weird but that may help him sleep better at night. At this age, 6-6:30 is a great bedtime.

Alternately, have your husband go get your son settled back down if he wakes at night. (Since he can't stand the sound of the baby fussing!) There's no need for a 19 month old to be eating in the middle of the night - he wants to nurse because that's how he's been trained to fall asleep. So you need to train him to self-soothe at night, and perhaps since Daddy can't nurse him, he's the perfect person to lead the process! (And you can get some sleep, finally. =) Maybe if your son has a special stuffed animal or blankie or pacifier or whatever, that will help.

I'd recommend letting your son try and settle himself down for a minimum of 5 minutes (watch the clock) - he may very well fall back asleep on his own. I noticed with my kids that many times when I thought they were awake, they were actually semi-asleep and just making noise. If I ignored them, they'd go back to sleep in 2 minutes or so. If he is still fussing after 5 minutes, go in and without talking to him or picking him up, cover him with his blanket, pat his back, and then leave. Wait 10 minutes, and repeat if necessary, increasing to 15, 20, 25 minutes if you have to. We did this with my older daughter and after about 45 minutes the first night, she fell asleep. The second night it took about 20 minutes, and after that she slept through the night just fine. (With my younger daughter, I did this process too, but she was a newborn so it didn't take as long!)

Good luck!

This is a very personal issue. If I were you, I wouldn't wean him completely. I would night wean him, which in my experience was a very hard thing. Nonetheless, I really enjoyed continuing to nurse in the day after I night weaned. Can your husband help with the night weaning? Trips do affect things. Good luck.

L.

I love the advice you've gotten, Jeannette--the only thing I would add is to make sure that he is eating foods he likes at "dinner" time so his tummy is full when he goes down for the night. When my daughter was a toddler, I found I had to introduce new foods to her during the day, when she was a happy camper, and keep her comforting old standards for the evening meal, when she was crankier. That way, she would eat enough to be satiated, rather than taste and sometimes reject a whole meal because one item was not to her liking.
Yes, travel disrupts schedules--but even toddlers can learn to deal with disruptions. Life will never be steady and predictable, will it?
Good luck!

Travel always messes up sleep schedules. You can count on at least a few days (sometimes weeks) of adjustment after every trip. Your little one may also be going through some developmental changes. Learning a new skill or teething, etc, will also lead to this kind of stuff.

Send your husband up to comfort your son. It will have 2 good effects: baby wants mommy and if only daddy comes he will stop after a couple nights, and hubby fulfills useful parenting role (leading to an increase in self-esteem...just kidding, at least you get to stay in bed).

If you are able to put your son to sleep for naps without nursing, you will eventually be able to do it at bedtime. You probably shouldn't be nursing in the middle of the night, though. That does encourage waking.

I wouldn't wean unless you are really ready to be done with nursing. If you are tired of it, then, by all means. But if you are okay with continuing, he will probably stop nursing when he is ready. Don't offer, but nurse if he asks and see what happens.

I have an 18 month old and I can share my experiences with her and this issues. We travel a lot and everytime we do it shifts our routine (also sicknesses do)and we have to start again. I am very committed to having her sleep through the night so I just know that I have to go through this adjustment period each time. She remembers though and each time its easier and takes less days. I do let her cry but I support her by patting her back or tummy and singing to her. My husband tends to sleep in the guest room during this transition and I try to get in a nap if I can during the day. Hope this helps.