Sleep - Brooklyn, NY

L. that is so funny. I felt like I was reading my article! I'm in the same situation for last couple of days. My son is the same age and he does exactly same thing. He was (we were) doing so good till now - take a bath, put pijamas on, take bottle put him down and leave room. He used to sleep ENTIRE night. What happend? Were we too spoiled? If you get any advice - let me know. Thanks Agi.

Hi. It's good that you check all the things that may be making him uncomfortable, and to keep doing that will help keep you on your toes and help him feel comforted. Waking up, however, can also merely become, and pretty quickly, a habit - it's something that can happen at all ages. One solution is to simply try to enjoy your child's wake up period as best you can. Try to find something to do that will allow him to wake up and feel comforted, but will not wake him up more. Maybe all the checking of his status at the time of his wake up is too much activity. Try doing just the minimal amount, to put your mind at rest, but in a very quiet and sleepy way. Keep lights low, sounds quiet. Check him in a way that keeps him or puts him back into a sleepy mode. Maybe you can offer comfort without taking him all the way out of his sleep area? Soft tones, no alarm from you or frustration.. talk softly, soothe him with your presence, tuck him in or stroke his forehead? This may not work the first night, but if you continue to approach his sleep in a way that will not alter your sleepy feeling too much, he will get back to sleep sooner and sooner, and eventually maybe break his possible habit of coming to full alert in the night. One idea to keep in mind among the many...!

Hi L.:

I posted (below) this last week to another Mama having trouble with sleep. Hope it helps...

Has something changed in the family routine? Are you working more outside the home? Does he have a new sitter or daycare situation? SOOO many things are going on developmentally with children in the 2-3 year range. Growth spurts (seemingly non-stop eating), and huge emotional and developmental leaps. Onset of better verbal skills, gross motor skills, new social skills... maybe he is coming down with something? A big time of change.

He NEEDS you and is stating it clearly. I truly believe that a child's needs for his parent/caregiver do not go away because the sun goes down or a calendar date passes. Meet your little guy where he is at. It IS exhausting to be up a night... especially when you have to get another little one going in the morning, but it is well worth it to meet the need when it occurs. Does he need some one-on-one time with you daily, outside of the regular hustle bustle?

Other advice about diet and bedtime CALM routines are helpful too. One thing I have found is that when these little ones are over-tired (missed naps, etc) it makes them MORE wakeful at night, not less.

Good luck Mama... relax and realize that this could just be a little developmental hiccup and that "this too shall pass"

Oh dear. Sounds like a not-fun time for all. Has your son been working on any new developmental milestones? Often when a baby is practicing something new or has something new about to "click" in his brain, the sleep patterns go all wonky. When my son was learning to walk he slept something like 2 hours a night for a few nights there. I was ready to consider checking myself into an insane asylum. ;)

If no new milestones are being worked on, is he going through a growth spurt? Did he get enough to eat during the day? Enough active play? Exposure to at least one hour of sun light per day can help with sleep. (NOT direct sunlight!)

Have there been any changes to his routine lately? Visits from the grandparents, perhaps? Sometimes that can throw the cycle off as well.

If you're still breastfeeding- did you eat anything unusual? Caffeine? Chocolate? Something with a lot of B vitamins? I'm breastfeeding my son and have to take a B12 supplement. If I take it too late in the day he won't sleep at all at night. So I've been waking myself up at 4AM to take the supplement. :p

Also, pay attention to what you feed him and when across the day. Keep B-vitamin heavy foods for earlier in the day. (Yogurt, Kefir, liver, etc.) and if you give him a multivitamin, make sure it's very early in the morning.

Oh, and I forgot- try adjusting the temperature in his room. My son sleeps best if his room is *cold*. It freaks me out, but then I realize that he's the little kid that sweats like a pig if I cover him with a light blanket sometimes.

As long as he isn't sick, then you have to play tough. Did you ever watch Supernanny? I love her. You are giving him too much attention after bed time. He should just be walked back to his bed without you speaking to him. Keep walking him back calmly with no eye contact either. After a while, he will get the point. This method really does work. It could take a while the first night, but after that it takes shorter and shorter. He will never get out of his bed again. I hope this helps. If you need more advice go to www.rogomo.com and write lisajayne in the search engine.

Hi L., I have a twin girl and boy who are 20mths old. My son sounds a bit like your little boy. He goes off to sleep after a while, they are in the same room for now and so talk and play for half an hour before dropping off. Then for no reason he wakes up and starts calling for me, usually around midnight and again around the 2.30am mark. I've found that if I go in to comfort him although he goes off to sleep, he'll cry again a few more times during the night. If I leave him then he usually doesn't wake up again during the night. I gauge his crying for desperation! If he's really upset I'll go in to him, if he's just crying, hope you know what I mean by just crying, then I leave him and he goes to sleep after about five minutes or less.
They get into a habit, cry, get Mummy and cuddles, go back to sleep, disturb in the night, cry and get Mummy again. It's a habit/cycle you have to break, not always easy especially if you can't leave the child to cry through.
Hope that helps,
K. J

your son is going through a transition and it is totally normal. My 3 year old went through it at that age and now my daughter is. Every child is different and goes through it in different ways. HE is moving into a new stage of development and going through a growth spurt. LIke a previous mom stated you can't get him up and check everything. The only thing you could do is change is diaper if it is really full and is going to soak through. OTherwise lay him back down and say goodnight. My daughter has been a bit tougher to get back down and since my two share a room it isn't always easy. So I rub her back for a minute or two and sometimes sing a lullaby. But even if she then starts to cry I leave the room. She needs to self sooth and settle herself. But like I said don't worry there is nothing wrong with him. Just check on him to make sure he is okay and his diaper isn't soaked and then tell him to go to sleep. There is nothing more you can do.

Hi L., Have you tried taking him out of the sleep sack, that might help. I agree with the previous responses there is too much fuss going on and bringing him more out of a sleep mode. Does he have a favorite blanket or something he can sleep and snuggle with so you coud just reassure him at that hour. With my son, now 3, but when he would wake up I would simply snuggle his fav blanket into him and rub his back softly and within min he would fall back to sleep.
Good Luck...
J. B

We recently had the same thing with our almost 2 year old son - he has been waking up at 4am for almost three weeks. I finally called the pediatrician yesterday, and she told me that he was probably waking during his light sleep cycle (hence the same time every morning) due to a bad dream, reliving and experience, or processing something emotional. At this age babies can't distinguish between dreams and reality, so she said he was probably really scared when waking up in the dark, etc....she said not to let him cry it out (he climbed out of his crib last weekend when we tried that anyway) but to go in and to try to comfort him back to sleep. We have been leaving the door open with the light on outside also to quell his fears. This morning he slept until 6am, so we'll see if he starts to do better. In any case, it's a phase, it's normal, and hopefully it won't last three weeks for you!

Stop all the middle of the night stimulations! What I mean is that when he wakes up tonight at 3 am do not give him orajel, do not give him tylenol, do not change diaper or sleep sack, do not open the window, do not check his temp, do not check his ears, do not do anything but lay him down and say good night firmly and quickly.

He is loving all the attention you have been giving him in the middle of the night. As long as you keep this up he will keep you up.

Since you havig been doing all this for about a week it will take at least a week to undo.

Remember, in a firm tone of voice without eye contact or coos & smiles say good night, tuck him in, and leave. If he cries wait 5 minutes. Then go in say good night tuck him in and leave. If he cries again, wait 10 minutes then go in and do above. If he cries again, 15 minutes, if after that it doesn't work, let him cry it out. Painful for you but effective.Do this every night gradually increasing the time before to go him.

CIO will only work if you are consistant and he is not sick. Good luck.

A.

A.