Sitting on Baby

I really like all the ideas, especially about getting a baby for your daughter to "care" for and having her help with caring for the new baby. I have one suggestion to add: have it be a "gift" from him to her--that worked for me. But otherwise I found I could never leave my infant alone with the older kids at that age. You just have to carry them with you and if you can't, then have a seat or swing or something to set them in. Floor time always has to be supervised once you have more than one child. I even had a seat set up in the bathroom (since that is where I usually was when the torturing started) so that I just took the baby with me, locked the bathroom door and set him down until I was finished with showering or whatever. If your daughter freaks out and starts banging on the door don't be surprised. Then you'll know that before you go in there you must get her busy with PBS or in her crib with a book. Most importantly, just hang in there and make sure your daughter knows you love her and that having a baby is a good thing for her too. You have to change your approach to parenting more than one child--just roll with it.

At 10 months, my son was mobile and could run from his sister, but until then I tried my best to keep them in sight. Maybe if you need to leave the room you should invest in a monitor that allows you to see them. Just for fun we used to set the video camera up around a corner and could watch the kids play from the living room without them being aware that we were watching. We just ran the cord from the tripod to the TV. It was low tech and cheap since we already had all the equipment. It won't be long until he can fend for himself a bit better. Hang in there.

hi R....kids, what can you say??? common sense says you need to keep an eye on him at all times. you probably shouldn't be in another room where you can't see the 2 kids, especially if you are having these issues. can you put him in a play pen or swing or something that he can be where you are so you can make sure she isn't accidentally doing something that could seriously injure him? i hope this helps and good luck.

Just a thought... maybe get her a doll that she can clothe, feed and change a diaper. Tell her that this is her "baby" and that she needs to take care of her baby, have her give her baby a name.... model after you with her brother.... I also agree with keeping them in your sight at all times.

R.,
I just have to echo what's already been said: don't leave them alone together while you're in another room. I don't think that disciplining your 2 y.o. will be very effective for you (as you have already discovered). Don't make her feel as though her little brother is off limits, instead try to involve her in the caretaking tasks. Asks for her help when you're bathing him, dressing him, changing his diaper, feeding him, etc. My children are 19 months apart and I found that when my son wouldn't take his solids from me, he would when big sis had the spoon. It's a little more time consuming and sometimes messier, but by involving her you may see the passive aggressive accidents stop happening. Good luck to you.

D.