Sisters with Large Age Difference

Hi M.,

I have 3 girls ages 19,6,10months. My oldest daughter was 11 when I had my second and she to was great until she was around 13 14. She would lock her out of her room and throw fits if she touched her things. I sat them both down and explained that someday all they will have is each other. I made a schedule up for their sister time 30 minutes a day.
They could bake or play a game read to the little one anything
and long as it was togetherness. I told the oldest one we could compromise if she wanted on the time but if she missed a day she would have to make it up on the weekend. I also made 2 days out of the month girls day out. We all had to go. We would get our nails done shop or whatever for at least 4 hrs.
If she didnt do this she was grounded for a weekend. It worked out great. They are really close now even though My 19yr old has moved out. She comes and visits all the time. She takes her 6 yr old sis out every week and lets her spend the night. She also loves her new baby sis also. I hope this helps let me know please.
L.

hi there i have 2 boys with 5yrs age difference,i went through same problems, i got both boys interested in sports,my dad brought me up on racing so i was a single parent and so to keep my boys together,we attended races every saturday night.get them involved with things they can do together,such as, maybe bowling,cheerleading,invite the younger childs friends from school over also, i use to take my boys to Putt Putt, movies, church activities for each age group....good luck,mine are now 20 and 25, and they have a good relationship.

I have 2 step-kids, ages 23 and 21. One of my own, 19. My two babies are 8 and 7. Yes, the older ones want there time to themselves. But I think I'm lucky because there is so much love to go around. What I think you need to do is limit the days that big sister has friends over to maybe once a week during school, maybe twice in the summer. Teach her the importance of family time. They also need alone time. Have them both start writing in a journal or a diary, their own private thoughts that no one else reads, ESPECIALY YOU. This is good theropy. Talk to baby sister about what makes her special, different and the same as her big sister, boost that self-asteem. When big sister comes home she'll get kisses, then she'll get SOME space. Being a mom is the hardest job in the world and I would'nt trade it for $1,000,000,000. Good luck.

M., I know this is a stressful time, but do not worry your daughters will again be close. I know from experience as my sister is 36 and I am 29. We went through the same exact thing when we were younger and today are the best of friends. My parents were very good in explaining to both of us that we each need to have our own personal time with friends, family time and each other. So, we had great family adventures where we all did things together, personal time with our friends and my parents had my sister and I spend at least 2 hours a week one on one so I wouldn't feel left out. It worked wonders! Good luck and don't worry!

Hi! I know exactly what your saying and my girls are 10 and 11 my 11 yr old wants to act like she is much older than the 10yr old but I have to stay hard on her and remind her that she is just a child. I tell her that her sister comes first. I let her have her time alone with her friends but I let her know that she still has her sister.

I know I'm alittle late with this but I also have 2 girls with a big age gap. Amber my oldest is 14 and Hannah is 8. I know all to well what you are going though. My problem with my girls is Amber trys to play the mom all the time. I think alot of that is my fault. The last 2 years Amber looks after Hannah after school. I know that sound alittle strange for me to let my 14 year old babysit but you will have to meet Amber to understand. She is 14 going on 25. The way she looks and the way she acts makes people think she is years older.
But any way she is the boss for about 2 hours a day. So when I get home from work its hard for Amber to stop playing the roll of boss. For example Amber fusses at Hannah about cleaning up after herself and tell her she is going to be grounded. I know its to funny at times but it does cause them to fight alot.
Now I'm faced with a new issue. Amber wants to go to the movies with a little boy from school. What should I do about this? I havent really thought about what age to start letting her date. I know 14 is way to young for a date but going to the movies with him and a group of friend I dont really consider dating. But I still dont know what to do. This is where I can use your help. PLEASE!!! haha

My name is M. and I live in Greenville Mississippi
My email addy is ____@____.com

M.,
I have a 12 year old and 3, 17months, so your not alone...I also posted for some help becuase mine does want her space, but the 3 year old is a girl and she barely speaks to her, the 17 month is a boy and the 12 year old loves him....so its hard to explain to the youngest and the oldest for that matter.....when the 12 year old kicks the 3 yr out of her room I also make her get out so the oldest can have some space.its difficult......but you'll manage.
good luck and keep us posted