Sippy Cups - Toledo,OH

No offense to you, but I know I HATE when my mother-in-law tries to tell me how I should be raising my kids!

Flavored water is full of Splenda which is horrible for anyone especially children.

Well its not a good idea to take a cup to bed with milk in it.that is one of the causes for cavities because milk has sugar in it and it sits on the teeth,if she starts to put water in it then they will eventually not want it anymore

Why is she giving fruit flavored water????? Like, diet fizzy stuff full of chemicals? Sugared? I wouldn't worry about the sippy cups, that doesn't seem to be an issue. But what about the contents. He should be drinking milk or water. Why would she think of fruit flavored water ever?

I would try to bring the health aspect into it. It is so bad for their teeth to have any fluids in bed/ overnight with them. Just that touch of sugar in the milk or flavored water is enough to hurt their poor teeth. A family member did that same thing with her son. He had to have all his front teeth pulled out when he was four because they were literally rotting in his mouth. She learned her lesson with that one and gave her daughter some water right before bed and thats it.
Try to focus on the going to bed with it side, and maybe it will break the habit of having it all the time.

If the parents know the risks involved (tooth decay, etc.), then I would back off the issue. Speaking as a parent who gets very frustrated when grandparents don't listen, I would suggest that you respect your children (and children-in-law) enough to comply with their wishes. They are the parents, after all, and the ultimate decision belongs to them. Going behind their backs to do something without their approval (as others suggested) would not be respectful, and could hurt your relationship with them.

Relax. Sooner or later, the child will not want the sippy cup anymore. At some point, it will become "uncool".

Good luck!

I think your intentions and efforts are great. I started giving my youngest those cups with straws and she loves them. Getting off the sippy cup is just like weaning from the bottle. Gradual. I found that going to a straw cup was a great transition to the big cup (but it can take a few days for them to learn the straw sucking). Unfortunately, your kids seem to take the easiest route...by continuing to give the sippy cup to make THEIR lives easier. You can gently encourage by setting the example of using a straw cup at meal and snack times. It's hard to get that sippy cup out of their hands when they are so used to carrying it everywhere. I would keep a full cup on the counter and offer drinks (from the big cup or straw cup) often and not let them carry it around, at least when they are with you. You can tell your kids how well your grandson did during the day without carrying a cup around, maybe they are hoping for someone else to do the dirty work for them. Explain that you are willing to do the "muscle work" in weaning him from the sippy, but ask if they could encourage the same behavior when they have him because it will make the process easier for everyone. Sometimes you just have those parents who are too tired to put forth the consistent energy that it takes and all your work is shot. But maybe they are more willing than they lead on. I hope they are willing to assist because you are attempting to do the correct thing for your grandson.....just remember though, don't step on the toes of the parents....tread lightly to avoid a power conflict. :) Great efforts on your part!

You can recommend things but, unless the parents are going to be on board with them, you can only make the rules for your own home. I would do the best you can do for your grandchildren while they are in your home. Let your daughter and son and their spouses know that you are going to do things your own way while the grandkids are with you alone. They can do things their own way when they have the children in their own homes. I would suggest to the parents that they should only be allowing the children to have water when they lay them down for a nap or bedtime. All pediatric dentists will tell them the same thing. Water is very essential for all parts of their little bodies. As far as sippy cups, I feel that a plastic cup with a lid on it and a straw would be better than a sippy cup all the time. Sippy cups can cause a child's teeth to stick out just as a pacifier would (something else a dentist has told me). I only give juice or milk at mealtimes and water throughout the day when they are thirsty (give a small amount in a Dixie cup or small plastic cup if parents are worried about spills). Water bottles would also be a good idea. You can put their names on them and make it special for each child, and you're doing something good for them at the same time. If you make things special for the grandkids, then they will eventually start asking their parents to "Do it like Grandma does"! That's one way to start good habits with their parents!

Oh boy grandma. It is always lovely to fall upon deaf ears. You may want to tell the parents that with the kids going down with sipper cups is not good for their teeth. If they are going to bed w/milk the sugar sits on their teeth and is going to end up causing cavities. At ages 3 it is ok for a sippy cup but 5 it too old for one. All of my children were drinking out of a regular cup no later than 3 yrs.. The funny thing is sipper cups are supposed to be spill proof and I found that in fact many are not. Just let your daughter, daughter in law and niece that puting the kids to bed with cups even water because it is flavored it has sugar in it is not doing them any good for their teeth and they are going to have to deal with dental issues if they don't stop. As far as your son goes tell him that you would rather deal with spills than have the kids have dental issues. Good luck and I hope you can get through to them.
D.

I am a 31 yr. old married mom of 3 beautiful boys. I have been married going on 12 yrs. this Nov.. Our boys ages are 10,7 and 4.

I think you are right to be concerned - dentists really hate sippy cups especially when they are toted around all day. I have a 3 year old and watch my niece the same age and about 6 months ago I put an end to sippy cups (90% of the time, still occasionally for going out to the park or that sort of thing), but we spend a majority of our time at home and they are not allowed sippy cups except with water in them. They get that choice (my daughter doesn't really like water, but will choose it occasionally). My niece is a little more resistant, but if you buy character cups or fun straws it makes it better. They should not be going to bed with anything but water - period. It's a weaning process like anything else - but during the day - I would put an end to it as best you can. See if you can get some dental research to show them how bad it is for their teeth. I understand that some people don't like getting advice from in-laws or parents on parenting - it's hard, but I think this is an important issue - it's not just a parenting style - it's a health concern that you are right to be concerned about. If you go to them in an honest, caring way - let them know that you respect them as parents and think they are doing a great job but are concerned about this they will see that your motives are honest and not self-serving. Good luck to you!

Hi M.,
I would try the next step of cups with a straw. This is what we have done with our grandchildren. We have a 3yo who still takes a sippy cup due to medical problems, but the other 4(ages 5 - 9) use a regular cup if they don't bring in into the familyroom or a cup with a straw in it. My daughter use to do the same with her 3yo of giving her a sippy cup when she goes to bed and she still does sometimes. I don't think the sippy cup will hurt them just the nite time of going to bed with them. Good luck !!

Becky

I personally don't think that the fact that they are using sippy cups is a big deal bc it does stop a lot of spilling and drinking from one does not hurt teeth in any way. What I do think is a problem is that they let them take them to bed with flavored water or juice or milk. It should be water only if it is absolutely necessary they have a drink. Even flavored water has sugars in it that will rot their teeth at night. I wouldn't press them taking the sippy away, but try to press not letting them have it with anything but water at night after their teeth have been brushed. That way the only thing your asking for is something small...put water in the cups at night. I would do some research to show them the effects milk and flavored water and anything with sugar has on their teeth specifically targeted at nighttime. Even call a local peds.dentist and ask them to send you some info or the kids ped. might have the same info to send you. Good Luck to a wonderful caring grandma.

Sippy cups are great for spills - no matter what age. It's why I have a lid on my coffee mugs! I always go to sleep with a glass of water on my nightstand because I get up in the middle of the night from being thirsty and I'm 34! :)
I also always have a bottle of water near me at all times. I never feel dehydrated and constantly sip on it. This is a good healthy habit for the kids to get into. I would not worry about the fact that they always have a drink available. Staying hydrated throughout the day is great!

I would encourage the women to put water in their children's cups at night because milk or juice sitting on the teeth all night can cause decay. Water is the best for middle of the night drinking.

If they aren't practicing with regular cups, they should be starting to do so. Maybe you could suggest that at mealtimes they use regular cups. (Kid-size) with their milk. They can fill them up with enough for a sip or two and then keep filling it up more as they drink. This prevents them getting overly excited and tilting back too far and then having their whole cup of milk all over them. They could eventually move to regular cups during the day and sippy cups at night only. If they dont' want to go that route because of potential spills, suggest they make a rule that kid-size cups remain on the kitchen counter or table and when they need a sip throughout the day, they have to go in the kitchen to drink them. Easier to wipe up a spill from tile than the sofa or carpet!

The sippy cups are convenient for preventing spills but eventually they do have to learn to drink from a cup. When they go to school, sippy cups will not be provided! :)

Maria, I wouldn't worry about the sippy cup issue. At 2 and 1/2 and 18 months they are still toddlers. My bigger concern would be that the sugar water may be contributing to early tooth decay (just like having a bottle or sippy cup at night.) Maybe suggesting water in the bed-time sippy cups so it doesn't promote tooth decay?

I have 3 children all 1 year apart and all 3 drank from sippy cups...my youngest nephew who I watch also drinks from a sippy cup. They are now 6, 5 and 4 and none of them are using a sippy cup (my youngest gave it up when she turned 3) so I don't think it's something you need to worry about.

Hope this helps ease your mind....

This is an interesting one, M. C. I only have two kids of my own, but they have four Grandmothers b/c my hubby and I both have divorced and remarried parents. That said, I only listen to my Mom and Mom-in-laws when it is convenient for me. We think we know it all, remember. When they take a problem into their own hands though, I roll with the punches.

Either way, 3 and 5 year olds are too old to be clenching to a sippy. Yes, it's convenient for Mom and Dad, but they've got to learn some how, and sooner than later is best. My 2 1/2 year old likes using regular cups b/c we remind her that she's a "big girl" when she does. As their Grandma, just planting the seed to the kids will be key. As much as I hate to admit it, if someone they love (ie.Gramdma) gives them the idea, they'll run with it, therefore Mom and Dad have to as well - as long as the idea is appropriate and healthy.

When you babysit, or have them over (etc) give them a cup (at the table) and if they use it, great, tell them how happy it makes you! if they don't go for it, its ok, they will eventually.

Remember, they will make messes, that's why Mom and Dad don't like the idea, but letting them have their sippies all over the house is training them to bring thier open cups all over the house in the future. Nip it Gandma, take charge if Mom and Dad won't. They should thank you later.

Hi M.,

It's so sweet that you're helping your children with their kids. Ultimately though, my way of thinking is that raising the kids is my responsability and really don't care for my in-laws or my parent's advice too much.
Not becuase I don't repect them, I feel they already rsiased their kids and unless I ask for help or suggestions - which I only ask for suggestions, not help with potty training, sippy, going from bottle to sippy, from formula to milk, water etc.....I don't ask for help.
I understand you're watching him so it may be a little different.
My MIL is actually quite a handful. She constatnly goes against my requests so I've opted to see her far less for it causes me so much stress.
If I say no juice - and I am totally AGAINST my kids drinking juice, I find she's bought 3 types she "thinks" they'll love. If I ask her to anp them at a certain time it simply doesn't happen, if I ask her to only give organic milk, she does if she has it, if she buys more she buys whatever she wants, budget is not an issue for her either.

So, all in all, if THEY want to take their child off the sippy they will. If they've asked you to help then that's different, the mom will probably just be annoyed (as opposed to grateful) that you're taking these matter into your own hands. ;)

Wow! If only the parents of the little boy I used to babysit had taken your advice. His parents would give him a sippy cup (I think he was 3 or 4 years old) at naptime and bedtime with milk in it. He now is the proud owner of a whole mouth full of brown little stumps that are supposed to be teeth. It's such a shame because he's such a cute kid until he opens his mouth. If they're worried about spills, they should just make it a rule that drinks and food stay at the table. That is how all of the kids I've babysat (including my own) were taught by me. If they wanted a drink, they sit at the table and drink. They need to be taught to drink out of big kid cup someday, may as well be now. They're definitely past the sippy cup stage. If nothing else, they should buy cups with lids that you can stick a straw in.

Yikes! What I did with my daughters to break them from the bottle was let them pick out a sippy cup with thier favorite charector in it. Then when the time came I did the same to ween them from the sippy to a cup. My three year old still uses the sippy cup on occasion but she prefers her Dora cup. Scream or not my kids were never put to bed with a bottle and they are not allowed to leave the kitchen table with thier cups. When the girls are thirsty they can go to the kitchen and get a drink from the cup at the table, even in the middle of the night and that is water. I would worry about thier teeth with anything else all through the night.

It is a very bad idea to let them carry them around all day! I let both of my boys do this and they both have awful teeth right now. My 4 yr old is missing his front 3 teeth because he fell down some stairs and they were so weak they all broke off in the front. What we do now is they have to leave their cup at the table and I use the Tupperware sippy cups and lids. Our pediatric dentist said it's a bad idea to use the regular non-spill cups all the time because they suck so hard and the juice hits those teeth right away. It's rough giving up those cups the 1st couple of nights but trust me it will be well worth it! One thing that worked for us was water in the cups unless it was meal time.

hi my name is J. and also a grandma, i feel they same way you do about sippies. to me they are no more then a bottle with no nipple. my grandson also wakes up screaming if his cup is empty. drives me nuts. all you can do is while he is in your home do him the RIGHT WAY and only allow him to have it at meal or snack time or even start using your cups you bought. that's what i do. i think he actually likes it too. cause he can be a big boy at grandma's. as for the others hold your tongue and save your breath cause you will get no where. the others wont get to change til mom quits being lazy and steps up . so just enjoy them while you can and pray alot god bless you J.

M. C

You should have both sets of parents speak to the pediatrician! Children who sleep with liquids other than water end up with tooth rot. A friend of mine was doing the same thing with her oldest son and he ended up in dental surgery! He had to have 7 teeth pulled and caps put on the rest. He was 5 when he had the proceeder done and he is now having trouble with the adult teeth that are coming in! His name is Zach and he's 11 now. He won't smile in pictures because he has alot of fillings.

Good luck! I hope they are able to change the habits that have started.

A. B.

By 2, I want/wanted my children to be able to drink out of a regular cup and not a sippy. I still let them use the sippy cups, but I knew that they were able to drink out of a cup if we didn't have a sippy. We found (3 years ago) spill proof cups that help them learn to drink out a cup. We haven't been able to find them resently. You might try taking the kids out and letting them pick their own cup to use at your house. It can be just a regular cup or smaller traveling coffee cups. (We have many from Starbucks. They are kids size, have a small hole to drink out of, and close for when they aren't drinking.) My 5 year old and almost 4 year old don't get the sippy cups anymore. At your house, you can set your rules.
They really shouldn't sleep with a drink, especially milk. Encourage them to give them a drink before bed. Leave little cups in the bathroom that they can use to get a drink in the middle of the night. I don't know if they lay down while they are drinking. It isn't good to lay down and drink on the ears. That can be a cause of ear infections in children. (I don't know what age the ear canal is large enough that it doesn't effect it.)
I hope this helps and good luck. Stick to rules at your house and they may just carry over at home.

I agree with you. I am a 27 yr old widow of a 7 yr old and an 11 yr old. When they are at your house you should have your rules and I also agree with the decorate yourself cups. These are simple steps to help them grow up. Pet their ego's by telling them how grown up they are and complimenting them when they use their own decorated cups. And as long as you don't tell your children that they can't let your grandchildren use sippy cups at their own houses I don't see where they will fight you if you start this ritual for your home only (to start). Soon if you do this I'm sure the grandkids will want to start using the grown up cups all the time. Kids like to be made to feel like equals on certain levels.

Cruel as it may sound, if they're in your care most of the day, I'd toss the cups (or hide them in case you have an emergency, lol!) and give them a cup with a straw...new cups, new rules. The cups stay in the kitchen. No walking around with them. If you're thirsty, come take a drink. Get some "decorate yourself" acrylic mugs from the dollar store or craft store and make a project out of it.....let them decorate their own special cup. If you absolutely must give them their sippy, don't put their favorite drink in it. If they have to choose between their favorite drink and carrying around a sippy full of something they don't like (maybe plain water? lol!), my bet is they'll take the regular cup with the juice/flavored water.

** This would be much easier to pull off if they came to your home, but it sounds like you're babysitting in their home and wouldn't have much support from the parents. Kinda hard to have "Grandma's house, Grandma's rules".

Good luck.

You are treading on scary waters here. I know you love these children and want the best for them, but you MUST respect the wishes of the parents, no matter how much you disagree. This issue is not life or death (if it were my opinion would be different). I think the biggest issue here is a generational one. As long as the children can drink from a real cup by the time they are 3-4 there is really no big deal here. If you continue to press this issue you will for sure cause strains in your relationships, especially with your daughter in law. You ask, "whats a grandma to say?". I'm not saying to not share your insight and parenting wisdom, but if it is not taken, realize that it has been heard. Just as your mother and mother in law probably did not like each parenting decision you made, you must let your children be their own parents. Be a grandma! Love them, play with them, spoil them and abide by the rules of the parents.

It sounds like you've made your point and anything further would be over-stepping your role. If the parents want further advice from you on this topic, they'll ask.

The real issue is not the cup, but what is in it while they sleep. I would offer plain water in the sippy, and the flavored water that he likes a the table in a regular cup only, we did this will milk in the bottle for one of our kids, she was very attached to the bottle. So I gave her a choice. Water in the bottle, or milk in the cup. She did both for some time because she needed the comfort, but we saved her teeth (she also drank a lot of water! which can't hurt!)

If it is the comfort of the sippy that he craves, he can safely have that and not rot his teeth with plain water, but if he gives up the sippy completly for the flavored water, then you know he is not using the sippy as a way to comfort himself, which may be something he still needs.

Giving him the choice will clue you into which is most important, both habbits would take different approaches to break.

As Grandma, you may not really have much to say, if you want to stay on good terms with your daughter in law. If you do this and she doesn't, I don't know how sucessful you would be either.

M.