Single or Divorced Mom Support Groups

As I was reading your request I was realizing that I am a lot like your daughter. I don't have a good realationship with my mom and althought I realize that your situation is different, maybe these tips can help. Don't be pushy. I know that when my mom acts that way I push her further away. Don't be selfish. When my mom calls it is all about her. She doesn't want to talk about me or my kids, just about herself. And be really careful not to bash her dad. Dad's and their daughters have a special relationship and it is hard when the mom's talk bad about them. I think that you should write her a sincere heart felt letter. Let her know how you feel and maybe this would get some kind of reaction out of her. Good luck!

C.-I really feel for you and your situation. It must be really hard. It seems like you have two options...either contacting your daughter maybe with a letter or just letting her have space. In the meantime...maybe you could send little cards to your grandkids so they know you are thinking about them. Hopefully, she will realize it's not fair to the grandkids when she cools down.

Is the 'problem' with your daughter really about her, or you? I am in your age group and have 4 kids (ages 18-30) and I can tell you that the best thing you can do for your kids once they are adults is let them go. Not only allow but encourage their independence...applaud your daughter's accomplishments and ONLY highlight her positives, not her negatives. She is allowed to make mistakes now and you have absolutely no right to interfere in any way. My advice? Appologize to her, sincerely. Tell her that from now on you will support her choices in every way. Love her unconditionally, then prove it. If you do these things, she'll come back to you on an adult level which will be the base of your relationship with her for the remainder of your life. If you don't, you'll continue to have problems with her, then the grandkids for years to come. Your choice. It sounds to me like the problem you described is all about you and not about her. Give her wings and get on with your own life.

I couldn't help but notice that in your post, you avoid mentioning any responsibility on your part for the problems you are having with your daughter. She's had issues, she's not gone to counseling. Maybe it would be helpful to take a step back and see what your responsibility in this is. No relationship goes that far into a ditch without some responsibility on both sides. You're the only one you can control anyway. I would suggest some soul searching to examine what you are doing to contaminate the relationship, take responsibility for it, and share that with your daughter with a promise to be better. Ask if there is anything else you can do to improve the relationship. Sincerely listen to her, and even if you disagree with her point of view, realize that it is her reality and don't argue with her about it. Just put yourself in her shoes and try to understand her. Then follow through - showing her to are listening and trying. You cannot control her or make her act differently, but you can inspire good things by being good to her. And that means looking at what you can do, not what she can do. Good luck!

my mom and I kind of have this relationship going on as well, difference is she doesn't really care to see my child that often so it really doesn't matter, but with my husbands mom, she takes her every week and then she wants us to go to dinner at her house every sunday, then his dad wants to take us to dinner every friday, then my dad and grandma and his dad and step mom drop by unannounced spontaneously through the week. It gets to the point where I just want to be left alone with my own damn family and everyone should just BACK OFF!! LOL this may be how your daughter is feeling. If she calls for something next time, just nicely tell her no and ask if you can schedule a day with the kids cause you really want to see them. Eevntually she will come around but I don't believe she is intentionally keeping the kids from you, she may just want some time with her own family for a little while, I went a month once without seeing my husbands mom... and mine for that matter because I just wanted to be alone with my own family. Sometimes it's annoying to have everyone at your back wanting to come for a visit. Just chill, I'm sure she will come around but don't let it be on the terms that she wants something from you, because it will only happen time after time again... thats my sisters story LOL